Page 16 of The Boardroom: Cassidy
Chapter Ten-Eliza
I’m not sure if this is the best idea, after all.
It was so easy to agree to go on a date with Cassidy in the moment, when his ocean blue eyes were staring into mine with suggestive intensity. But now that I was back in my apartment, alone except for Maggie snoozing on my open suitcase, I wondered just how crazy I had been over the last few weeks. What was I even doing? This wasn’t me at all…how did I get here? Was I really about to go on a date with another man? I had never really been on a date, besides when Ben and I went to go see movies and get burgers back during our junior year of high school. I didn’t even know what to do.
I know Cassidy said he wanted a real, proper date…dinner and a movie, perhaps, but I was afraid he was just after me for the sex. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was using the date to appease me and eventually get me into bed. Not that I was against that at all, especially after all those things he said to me at the meeting the other day…but Iwasstill a virgin, and an engaged virgin too.
I thought of the way I had felt after I had escaped into the bathroom the other day, after Cassidy had whispered all of those filthy things to me. His words had awakened something in me that my low-key make-out sessions on the couch with Ben certainly never had. And it was enthralling. If I went back to South Dakota now and married Ben, and had what I only assumed would be kind of mediocre sex with Ben for the rest of my natural life, would I be able to cope? Would I be able to cope knowing that I missed out on experiencing sex with a man like Cassidy? Would I think of Cassidy on my wedding night and find myself wishing he was there with me instead?
I paced around Sabryna’s living room nervously, letting the words ring through my head.I was cheating on Ben. I was a cheater. You’re a cheater, Eliza. You’re a bad person.I rested my head against the wall and sighed, feeling the guilt overwhelm me. I had kissed another man, I had loved it, and now I was about to go on a romantic date with him while my fiancée sat waiting at home with no idea where I was or what the state of our engagement was. What the hell was wrong with me?
But along with my self-loathing, Cassidy’s words were there too…his promises that were loaded with suggestion and made me dizzy just to think about.
I would slide my hand up under your skirt, and I’d have you moaning and panting so loud that everyone in the office would hear, and I’d…
I took a deep breath and then crashed onto the couch. If I went on this date, and Cassidy tried to seduce me, which he surely would, I knew I’d give in wholeheartedly. But I wanted him so badly I felt like I was going insane.
This was it, the final step. If I went on this date, I knew, there was no going back, and the engagement would be off for good.
