Page 21 of The Mountain Man's Virgin
My heart was hammering in my chest as the phone started to ring.
Chapter 16 – Mick
The peaks of the Cascades spanned as far as we could see. It was rare that I met someone who hadn’t experienced the mountains. All the local people I knew, were avid backcountry skiers, and all the rich people that I knew were avid heli-skiers. Experiencing the mountains through her eyes made me see their beauty anew and appreciate all that they had given me these past few months.
That kiss though. She had a fiancé, what was I doing? Putting my arm around a fellow orphan seemed natural and good, nothing to be ashamed of. I found myself wanting to get to know more about Lucy. Is that what it feels like to really care about someone? To want to know what her parents’ names were? What she named her first puppy? If I’m being honest with myself, I’m wondering if that what it’s like to actually want to listen to a woman when she talks? Not just plot the fastest way to get her out of her clothes?
Don’t get me wrong, there was so much about Lucy that got my cock stirring. The way her eyes glinted when she laughed, the way her muscular track thighs rippled when she bent down to pet Chopper, the way she self-consciously tucked her dark hair behind her ear when she seemed nervous.
Of course, I wanted to bend her over the log arm of my couch, bunch the fabric of her shirt in my fists, spread those athletic thighs wide and push into her. I had even wondered whether she would gasp or moan when I entered her, but I cut the thoughts off every time they started to rise in me, cooling the lava bubbling deep inside.
There were two reasons why I wouldn’t sleep with Lucy McKennit. The first and obvious one, was that she was engaged, although that never would’ve stopped me in the past. The second was that I had made a vow to myself. To stay celibate, to get over my overwhelming urge to fuck everything that crossed my path.
And now I had a third: I was falling for her. It was an unfamiliar feeling and I was surprised by how conflicted I felt. On one hand, I wanted to fuck her so badly it physically hurt my body, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to hurt her. I was shocked to realize that it was the latter that was winning my internal struggle.
But that kiss. A Hollywood director couldn’t have put together something so magical. Hell, even the sun came out the moment our lips met.
I’m a strong man and I’m a smart man. And I guess you could say that I’m confident. But, fear had started to spread inside of me as my feelings towards my uninvited houseguest grew stronger and stronger and strayed into virgin territory - love.
I had berated myself the rest of the way up the mountain ridge. Here I was, not wanting to hurt her, and yet I was actively shutting her out. I knew that she was confused and that I was coming across like an asshole. But to protect her, and well, to protect me, that was what I had to do.
As I watched her pull out her cell phone to call her fiancé, I felt a mixture of sadness and relief. This perfect woman was going to be out of my life as quickly as she came into it. To say I was torn was an understatement.
I thought back to Dr. Vanessa’s office, to the horrible thing that I had done – the straw that had broken the camel’s back and forced me to withdraw from society. Would I ever be able to tell Lucy the truth about me? About the monster that lurks beneath the surface of Mick Brady, the one controlled by the contents of his pants?
I had just completed four months of sex talk therapy with Dr. Vanessa. The doctor was hot, like smokin’ hot. It really wasn’t fair, and I called her out on it. I mean, how can a sex therapist show up to a session wearing a tight pencil skirt, button up shirt, glasses, and a bun?
It was the ultimate test. During our first few sessions, I wrestled with the thoughts that were racing through my mind a mile a minute. I planned how I would hitch up that skirt with one hand, push her lacy panties (in my mind they were always lacy black panties) to the side and find out what she tasted like. The first session I switched back and forth, trying to decide whether I would push her chest down onto her desk amongst her paperwork and fancy pens and bury my face between her legs from behind, or if I would just pull out my cock and press into her hard, the act scattering everything from her desk onto the floor.
“Mick,” she had asked, interrupting the pornographic loop that was going through my head. “Where were you just now?”
“You don’t want to know,” I had responded.
She had smiled at me. She was a smart woman and knew exactly what I had been thinking about.
“Were you thinking about sex?” she asked.
“Um, I guess I was,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand.
“And what do you think about that?” she asked with typical therapist-esque ease.
“I think that it’s really unfair that the best sex therapist in Seattle looks like she could be in Playboy magazine.”
Dr. Vanessa smiled. “Mick, I’m sorry you feel that way, but you are not going to be able to live in a world where you aren’t attracted to any women.”
I guess that’s where the seed for the mountain cabin had been planted. “Sometimes I think that’s what would be best for me.”
“You’re not the only person to have thoughts like that,” she said, uncrossing her legs and then re-crossing them the other way.
“Like that!” I pointed at her. “Look at what you fucking just did.”
“Tell me what I just did,” she said.
“You fucking Sharon Stoned me. Are you trying to get me to come over there and fuck you right in that chair of yours? Are you having fun playing with me? Toying with me like an evil cat does with a mouse?”
“I changed positions,” she said. “You’re the one who sexualized a simple movement.”
“You know that’s not the truth. You’re playing games with me. I wouldn’t be surprised if you took out that bun and shook out that blonde mane of yours while undoing the top button on your blouse.”
