Page 52 of Second Chances
“Well, maybe your friends are gold diggers,” her eyes flashed as she threw the covers back and patted the knotted sheets in search of her panties.
“Meg. Wait. Stop.” Josh tried to grab her hand, but she swatted him away. He couldn’t understand why she was getting so riled up. “Are you hiding something from me?”
Her face blanched white. She reached for his arm. “Josh,” she said softly, but then pulled her hand back and turned away from him, so he couldn’t see her face.
“I got what I wanted. I got a Chance Rapids local into bed and used him for his gorgeous mountain man cock.”
Josh couldn’t believe how quickly the conversation had gone sideways. He jumped out of bed and met her at the ladder before she could swing her leg around to climb down. “Megan, please. Stop. Sit down and talk to me. There is something that I need to tell you.”
His tone caught her attention and her eyes softened. “What is it?”
“Sit,” he said, taking her hand and leading her to the bed.
She sat down on the end of the bed and he pulled the blanket up over her bare shoulders, she clutched it in front of her chest.
“I don’t know how to tell you this, but you make me want to break all of my rules.” He wanted to tell her that he was falling in love with her but knew that it was too early.
“And what are those rules?”
“Rules, I mean. That’s not really the right word. Fuck Megan. I’m not a fancy negotiator, I’m not good at talking about my feelings and stuff. I swore that I would never fall in love again. I already lost someone, and it ripped my guts out when she...” he hated saying it.
“Left you?” Megan tried to finish his sentence.
“Died.”
Her face and shoulders dropped, and she reached around Josh, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders and pulling it tightly around both of them.
“Josh. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I’m surprised that you didn’t hear it through the grapevine,” he replied. “She was my fiancée. Her name was Erica. She’s the whole reason I came to Chance Rapids in the first place.”
“Nobody said a thing to me, although I did wonder how a man like you could be single.”
“I wanted to be her husband, we were going to start a family together. That house, those renovations were for her. Everything I did was for her, and once she was gone, I just couldn’t see the reason to continue with any of it.”
Megan nodded, her eyes wide, but she didn’t say anything. He was glad. He gripped her hand in his, she returned his grip with a squeeze.
“She was in a car accident out at Chance Gap, the mountain pass. I was on call that night, and as soon as I heard the call, I knew. I don’t know how I knew, but I just felt it. The car rolled down an embankment and we couldn’t get down to her, the weather was so bad the choppers couldn’t fly. Me and three of the guys rappelled down, but by the time we got there, she was... she was...” He hadn’t told the story for years and thought that he could get through it without crying, but he couldn’t. He took a deep breath and willed the tears away, “... gone.”
“That’s why you’re not on search and rescue anymore?”
He nodded, “That’s why I don’t climb anymore.”
“Josh, my god. I’m so sorry.”
Megan turned and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in close for a hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist and let his head rest on his shoulder. He felt a sense of calm and easiness when he was with her. He took a deep breath and let one solitary tear fall down his cheek.
He spoke into her neck, his voice muffled, “You’re the only woman I’ve brought to this cabin since Erica. Megan, you’re not like the other women from town, but you’re also not like all the women from Sugar Peaks. There’s something about you, something about you that makes me want to feel things again. I just can’t start something that will have to end.”
He waited for her to say something. Anything. He couldn’t believe that he just poured out his soul to this sophisticated woman. He wanted her to tell him that it wouldn’t end. That she would stay, and they could try, but she didn’t. She brushed his hair behind his ear, kissed his face, and then wrapped the blanket around him. She stood up and shivered in the cold, her bare chest covered in goosebumps. She pulled on her panties and started to climb down the ladder, “We should go. I have a lot of work to get done today.”
He thought that he knew her, but this cold response was beyond anything he could’ve dreamed. He threw the quilt on the bed and pulled on his long underwear. He shook his head, pissed that he had opened himself up to her and she had just walked away. It seemed like she was hiding something like she was holding back from him.
The kettle started to whistle, and he climbed down from the loft and jogged over to shut it off before its piercing whistle drove Timber crazy.
“Coffee?” he asked, holding up the jar of instant coffee.
“No. Thank you,” Megan replied, without looking at him.
Josh poured out the boiling water and rinsed out the hot chocolate mugs from the night before. The two of them got dressed in silence, and Josh noticed that Megan couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Come on, Timber,” he said and leashed up the husky. He opened the door and breathed a sigh of relief that the trail groomer had been by, at least they wouldn’t be bushwhacking their way through hip deep snow.
This is going to be a long trip, he muttered to himself as he locked up the cabin.
They clicked into their skis and he set the pace for the truck. He couldn’t believe how a perfect night had turned into such an awful morning. All he wanted to do was get back to the truck and get Megan Brittle out of his life. For good.
