Page 50 of A Secret Chance
“We’re going to slow things down a bit now,” the lead singer said into the microphone.
Oh shit. Lauren thought to herself. The drummer counted in slowly and they started playing an old country song. She turned and brushed past Baxter, her eyes set on the back of the beer garden and the safety of the picnic table.
“Lauren,” Baxter’s hand was on her arm. “Dance with me?”
“We shouldn’t...” she said. But she wanted to snuggle up against his wool coat, to feel his arms around her, for him to hold her the way he did when they danced in his room all those years ago.
“Of course,” Baxter said. “I understand.” He gestured for Lauren to leave the dance floor ahead of him, Always the gentleman, Lauren thought to herself. She glanced through the crowd and her eyes settled on Carrie’s. Lauren turned on her heel and slammed into Baxter’s chest. She grabbed onto his glove, “Just one,” she whispered into his ear.
He nodded and took her hand in his, leading her to the center of the dance floor. The atmosphere had completely changed. Older men in cowboy hats swayed with their wives as the lead singer’s honey tenor twanged. The rough crew had adjourned to their tables, leaving the rest of the dancers space to move. As Baxter turned and pulled Lauren in towards him, she felt the warmth of his hand as it rested on her back and he took her right hand in his left, waltz style, like the old cowboys.
“I didn’t take you for a country fan,” she whispered into his ear.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Lauren.” He slowly led her around the dance floor, the music and the other two-steppers disappearing into a sea of colors around them. Lauren lost all sense of time, and she could feel every tense muscle in her body as Baxter led her around the dance floor. She was not only hyperaware of every breath that she took but every one that he took as well. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at his face. When the music stopped, so did Baxter, and Lauren didn’t know if she was still lost in her time-lapse world, but she swore that he held her body against his, her hand in his, for longer than was socially acceptable. She cleared her throat and stepped away. The familiar chords of The Beatles’Yesterdayrang out and without saying a word, Baxter pulled her back into him. This time she didn’t resist. He held her hand in his, but this time it was against his chest. Again, the crowd melted away, but this time, instead of turning into a mass of colors and movement, they just disappeared. It was just her and Baxter lightly rocking and swaying under the twinkling lights. Lauren closed her eyes and let her body respond to his. The trembling had disappeared from her hands, and the steam from his breath warmed her cheek. Her eyes snapped open when she felt a smatter of cold on her forehead, she looked up and saw snowflakes swirling down through the twinkling lights, some landing on her eyelashes. That’s when she let herself look at him. His eyes were closed, and he was humming lightly. She didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or snow globe magic, but she did something she had only done once before, and she listened to her heart. She rose up onto her tiptoes, the movement causing Baxter to open his eyes, so she let hers meet his before she brushed her lips along his jawbone, letting them linger, just lightly brushing his earlobe. To anyone watching, it would’ve looked like she was whispering in his ear, but she wasn’t saying a word. Then she let her lips do what they wanted to do, and she kissed the smooth spot between his jawbone and his earlobe. She felt his chest jerk with a sharp inhale as her lips met his skin. When she lowered her heels and let her eyes meet his, she noticed that, like hers, they were glistening. He tightened his grip on her waist and she let her cheek rest on his chest, not a word was exchanged, and for the rest of that song, Lauren melted into Baxter’s chest.
When the music stopped, Lauren stepped back from the warmth of Baxter’s chest and blinked hard. What had she done? They shifted away from each other and clapped politely with the rest of the crowd.
“Wait here,” Baxter whispered to her. “I’ll be right back.”
Lauren watched as Baxter disappeared into the crowd ahead of her.
“What was that?” a voice whispered from behind her. She took a deep breath and turned to face her sister.
“I-I-I...” Lauren momentarily seemed to have lost the ability to form complete sentences. “I don’t know,” she whispered.
“Looked awfully cozy to me,” Charlotte said. “Where did he go?”
“I’m not sure.” Lauren scanned the crowd for any sign of Baxter’s blue hat.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Charlotte asked. Her eyes were wide as they searched Lauren’s.
Lauren shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut as if she was trying to erase those moments with Baxter from her brain. “What AM I doing?” she said, more to herself than to Charlotte. “I have to go.”
“Where are you going?” Charlotte shouted as Lauren pushed and stumbled her way off the dance floor. Her breaths started coming faster and the crowd seemed to be closing in on her. She needed to get out of there. She recognized the feeling; it was the same one she had had right before she fainted. She hurried out of the party until she found somewhere quiet, somewhere she could think. She slumped down on one of the swings in the kids’ play area. She took a deep breath in and then exhaled it slowly. Why did Baxter have this power over her?
Dancing with him had taken her back in time. That’s exactly how it happened ten years ago. She was delivering extra towels and had expected to find an empty room, but instead found a handsome man playing acoustic guitar. She couldn’t quite remember how things had progressed, but he played for her, listened to music together, then they danced and she had kissed his jaw, just like she had only minutes before. Only ten years ago, he had kissed her back. Tonight, he seemed shocked and then ran away. She didn’t want to tell him the truth – that they had made a baby that night. Big fat tears rolled down her face as she realized she had feelings for Baxter. She didn’t know if they were old feelings that had been bottled up inside her, or if they were new and fresh. They were likely a combination of the two, but it didn’t matter. If she didn’t want to tell him about Tabitha, nothing like the magic of tonight could ever happen again.
***
BAXTER TOUCHED THEspot on his jaw where her lips had been. He hadn’t imagined it; she had definitely kissed him. He made his way through the crowd to where he had left Lauren standing, but in her place, he saw Charlotte.
“Where’s Lauren?” he asked. He glanced around, his eyes searching the crowd for any sign of her puffy coat.
“She ran off,” Charlotte said. “Where did you go?” she asked.
“I was just...” Baxter had gone up to request a song, any song that featured a saxophone. “Shit. Where did she go?” Baxter stood on his toes, looking over the top of Charlotte’s head. “Did she go back to the table?”
“Baxter,” she grabbed his arm. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Don’t play stupid with me,” she whispered and pulled him out of the crowd. “She’s not just some small-town girl for you to have a little fun with again.”
“Again?” Baxter snapped his head around to face Charlotte, her grip tightened on his arm. “How do you know...” He stared at Charlotte. How could Charlotte know what had happened? That could only mean one thing. That Lauren knew who he was. “She knows,” he whispered.
Charlotte put her hands on her hips. “That you’re the Brock from nine, or ten years ago? Yeah, she knows.”
“I have to find her.” Baxter couldn’t believe it. “Why didn’t she say anything?” His mind was racing, he needed to find Lauren, now more than ever.
