Page 119 of The Last Dragon
“You were…fast.” Her voice trembles. “Strong. I’ve never seen anything like that. It was almost—”
“Inhuman,” I interrupt. Her head dips.
Guilt travels up my throat and strangles me again. My hands are weapons to kill instead of a tool to protect. The fire casts a red light over them—mocking me. Blood I can never wash off.
She lifts her head again. “Is this what happened two years ago at the Gate?”
“Yes,” I say, tugging at the ripped collar of my shirt. “There was a planned expedition. Scouts found a nesting area and realized there was a horde roaming straight toward the Third.” She tenses, but I continue, “The general believed that our best chance of surviving this horde of dragons was to be stationed outside Nedersen. So, he evacuated the village and sent them to take refuge in the Stronghold, while stationing the strongest soldiers to protect Nedersen. Leaving only rookies and servants to tend the Hold.” I furrow my brow, memories flashing before my eyes as I swallow the increasing lump in my throat. “He was wrong.” Anger floods me. Back then, it seemed like a mistake, but with everything happening now, I can’t help but wonder if it was calculated.
“The horde came from Medyn. Completely ignoring the village, anything, or anyone there. There were a dozen dragons. It was… a fucking bloodbath. I was in unit seventeen. Raumen, Eryca, Ilian, Sam, Kayus.” I pause for a moment, twisting my tongue in my drying mouth, before speaking again. “Aris. Nobody wanted to fight. We just… stood there,” I say, releasing a pathetic laugh. “We stood there by the Outer Gates, watching a horde of dragons coming tokillus.”
She averts her gaze, squeezing her eyes shut.
“I don’t remember what I did that day. Or what I said. All I did was yell. I let rage take over me. I just ran straight into the horde with nothing but a crossbow and daggers.Ihad nothing to lose after Pirlem.Theydid. Everyone who was behind me. Soldiers. Young men and women. They followed me into that bloodbath.”
Tears fall down my cheeks. I blink, focusing on her fiery eyes. “They died because ofme. People called me a damn hero after taking down nearly all of them—with only the Redsnout left. But I was no hero.” I look down, as if somehow it will hide me.
“You saved thousands,” Nida whispers. “Without you, the Third would’ve fallen. And so would the Middle.” She gulps. “The Center.”
I laugh. “I could’ve done better.”
“Why are you saying it like that?”
“Because. I killed one of our members. Aris—a Medic in my unit—was tending to the villagers that got caught in the battle.” I throw a piece of wood into the dying fire. “A Stonetail was preparing to charge at her, so I yelled out to distract it. When the Stonetail’s attention was on me,” I pause. “I froze.”
I stretch out my arm, curling my fingers into a fist. “The venom spread, and I couldn’t move. All I did was watch how it charged toward me. There was a Defender Pole inches away. Aris—” I choke, digging my nails deeper into my already bleeding palms. “She grabbed the pole, lifted it up—shit, I don’t even know how she did it.” I relax my fist. “I watched her get crushed. I watched her die, her body get torn apart because I couldn’tfuckingmove. Just like Raumen.”
“That wasn’t your fault,” she says, her palm softly pressing my shoulder.
“But it was. I’m the one who encouraged them to keep fighting.” I meet her eyes, the warmth of the embers reflecting in her iris. Gentle and warm and beautiful. And fear takes over. Fear of it happening again—to Nida. That somehow, I won’t be able to save her.
“After she died, I killed three dragons with only daggers in hand. I don’t know how I did it, but whatever power or curse I have, it turned me into a weapon. I guess a weapon Grogol’s been honing. I felt nothing. No fear. No doubt. Justpower. Iplunged a dagger straight into their heads. I cut their throats. Chopped their wings. I—”
Nida raises her hand, interrupting me. “You don’t have to relive this,” she says, anger flickering in her eyes. “You’renota monster. They made you think you are.”
“Nida,” I say softly, leaning closer to her. “I don’t knowwhatI amMonsteris the closest word to describe me.”
“Zel.” My heart clenches in my chest. I hadn’t realized just how much it means to me—the sound of my name on her lips. How much I want to hear it again and again—like sweet honey, softening my name so it doesn’t sound like it belongs to a monster.
I think back on the soldiers in the cave, the blood that I have on my shaking hands. The hands that keep reminding me of what I am.
“I killed twenty people, Nida,” I say. “Twenty lives that I was supposed to be responsible for.”
She comes closer, cupping my face—inches apart, and I can feel my breath tangle with hers. “You didn’t bear that guilt alone.” Her voice is soft—reassuring me that what I did was right. “Once this is over, we’ll find the cure. There has to be one.”
I shake my head. “No. There isn’t one. I know I’m going to die. But at the very least, I can make sure you live.”
“Live?” she says. “In a world like this? Tell me, how can I live in a world like this?”
I smile, no matter how painful it is for me. “I’ll make it a better world for you.”
“A world without you isn’t a better world, Zel,” she says, her voice trembling. “It’s worse.”
“At least you’ll have peace.”
She scoffs. “The absence of you will cloud my mind every waking minute. That’s not peace. That’s chaos.”
“I’m chaos,” I say.
