Page 74 of Knot My Wonderland: Part Two
"The pattern doesn't replace who you are, Alice," he said finally, his voice carrying the weight of centuries of observation. "It amplifies what's already there. Your compassion, your determination, your ability to see hope where others see only darkness—those aren't magical traits. They're purely, essentially you.”
The pattern beneath my skin shifted, responding to Chi's words with gentle pulses that seemed to affirm his assessment.
"But what if that's not enough?" I whispered, voicing the fear that lurked beneath all others. "What if who I am isn't strong enough to face what's coming?"
Chi's expression softened further, his tail unwrapping from my wrist to trace the outline of the golden mating mark on my neck. "That's why you have us," he said simply. "The bonds aren't just magical connections—they're reminders that you don't face this alone."
Through our silver connection, I felt the depth of his commitment—not just to Wonderland's salvation, but to me personally. The pattern responded to his emotions with steadier pulses, silver and gold light regaining some of its usual harmony.
"Besides," Chi continued, a hint of his usual mischief returning to his voice, "you're forgetting that we're quite fond of who you are already. We're not going to let you lose yourself to anything—not the pattern, not the Queen, not your own fears."
His hand found mine beneath the covers, fingers intertwining as his silver patterns pulsed with reassuring warmth. "We've all changed through our bonds with you, Alice. But change isn't always loss. Sometimes it's becoming more fully yourself than you ever thought possible."
I squeezed his hand, feeling some of the tension leave my shoulders as the moonflower tea continued its work. The pattern's light had steadied considerably, no longer the chaotic flickering of magical exhaustion but a gentle, rhythmic pulse that matched my gradually slowing heartbeat.
"You should sleep now," Chi murmured, though he made no move to leave. "I'll stay until you're properly rested."
"You don't have to," I protested weakly, though the thought of being alone made the pattern beneath my skin pulse with anxiety. "I'm sure you have other things to do."
"Nothing more important than this,"Chi said softly, settling more comfortably beside me. His tail draped protectively across my waist, a comforting weight that helped anchor me as exhaustion pulled at my consciousness. "Rest, Alice. Let the pattern heal."
I wanted to say more,to thank him for understanding what I couldn't fully articulate, but sleep was already claiming me,dragging me down into darkness that felt like floating on a silver sea. The last thing I registered was Chi's gentle humming, a Wonderlandian lullaby that seemed to speak directly to the pattern beneath my skin, soothing its restless energy into peaceful slumber.
Chapter
Thirty
ALICE
When I woke, the cabin was quiet, moonlight streaming through the crystal windows. I blinked slowly, assessing my condition. The pattern beneath my skin had stabilized completely, silver and gold light pulsing with renewed vigor that suggested I'd slept far longer than intended. Chi lay beside me his breathing deep and even.
I shifted carefully, not wanting to wake him as I tried to gauge the time. The pocket dimension's artificial night seemed well advanced, stars visible through the window in unfamiliar constellations that shifted subtly as I watched.
"You slept for fourteen hours,"Chi’s voice made me jump, as I figured, wrongly, I’d managed to move without waking him.
"You could have woken me," I said, settling back down beside him. Through our silver bond, I felt his contentment athaving spent the time watching over me, his protective instincts satisfied by my obvious recovery.
"You needed the rest,"Chi replied, his tail curling around my waist as he shifted closer. "Besides, I rather enjoyed having you all to myself for a few hours."
The patternbeneath my skin responded to his proximity with gentle waves of silver light that seemed to dance with his own patterns. I felt significantly better—not just physically, but magically centered in a way I hadn't experienced since we'd begun the intensive training.
"How do you feel?"Chi asked, his teal eyes studying my face in the moonlight.
I tookinventory of my body and magic, surprised by the answer. "Strong. Rested. Like the pattern has settled somehow." The silver and gold light beneath my skin pulsed with a steady rhythm that felt more harmonious than before my collapse. The chaotic flickering had been replaced by waves of light that moved as water, flowing smoothly beneath my skin.
"The pattern integrated while you slept,"Chi explained, his tail tightening slightly around my waist. "Sometimes magical exhaustion forces a reset that actually accelerates development."
I raised an eyebrow."So pushing myself to collapse was helpful?"
"Not intentionally,"Chi clarified, his ears flicking with mild exasperation. "But the pattern used your unconscious state to reorganize some of the techniques you've been struggling with. It's rather efficient that way."
I stretched experimentally,marveling at how the silver and gold light moved with perfect fluidity, no longer the jagged, erratic pulses of yesterday. "Where are the others?"
"Heartand the Tweedles are in the clearing going over plans and training themselves since we have a little over a day and a half left before we head back.” Chi said, his patterns dimming slightly with concern. "They wanted to let you recover completely before finalizing tomorrow's approach."
I nodded,feeling a pang of guilt that they were working while I slept, though the rational part of my mind knew Chi was right about needing the rest. The mating mark on my neck pulsed with gentle warmth, carrying echoes of Heart's protective concern even at this distance.
"I should join them,"I said, starting to sit up.
