Page 22 of Strictly Friends
‘And what? See for himself that the real thing is nothing to get excited about?’
Ruby shrugged, and they sat in silence for a moment.
‘So now, what?’ Kenny asked quietly.
‘What do you mean?’
‘What was your plan after bringing me and Jake together?’
Ruby’s blank expression was answer enough, and Kenny shook his head resignedly. ‘Christ, you really don’t think much of me, do you? You hadn’t even considered the possibility that I might not be the monster you clearly think I am?’
‘You’rethe one who left us,’ Ruby said defensively. ‘I don’t know why you did, and I had no reason to assume you’d want to play an active role in Jake’s life going forward.’
Kenny exhaled and nodded slowly. ‘You’re right, and I’m sorry. Look, me leaving wasn’t your fault... it’s just that—’ He paused and looked straight at her, his eyes probing her tense features.
‘Just that what, Kenny? Please don’t give me any of that “It wasn’t you; it was me” crap becauseI’mthe one you left. I thought we were happy, so what changed?’
‘Rubes, nothing’s changed for me.’ Kenny took a deep breath. ‘I love you. I always have. Believe me, it was never my plan to leave for ever. I don’t know, my head was all over the place and somewhere in my warped thinking I even hoped it would push you to come to me. But a year passed, and then another year, and bythen I’d heard about your parents and knew you would hate me, and so I kept putting it off. When you feel so much shame that you don’t know how you can ever face your own child again, it’s easy to convince yourself that he’s better off without you and that one day, if you’re lucky, you’ll get a chance to see him and try to make amends.’
Shocked, Ruby stared at him in disbelief. Kennylovedher. If that were true, then what thehellhad the last six years been about? ‘My head was all over the place’? What did that evenmean? Kenny claimed to love her and yet he had broken up their family and stayed away for reasons he couldn’t even properly articulate. Stunned, she stared at the floor, trying to process his words. She couldn’t understand what had triggered his actions, but Jake was the reason she was here, and she had to keep that as her focus.
After a few moments, Kenny broke the silence. ‘So how long are you staying?’
It was a question to which Ruby still didn’t have an answer. ‘I’m not sure,’ she hedged, still jolted by his confession. ‘We have enough assignments from Jake’s school to cover the next three or four weeks, so I guess it depends on how things go with you and Jake, and what’s best for everyone.’
Suddenly feeling parched, she twisted the bottle open and took a long sip of water. Looking around the office, she was struck by the spartan decor. There was nothing remotely decorative in sight, and she couldn’t help wondering what, if any, female influences were part of Kenny’s new life.
‘Soo... are you married or – or anything?’ The words burst out before Ruby could restrain them and she could cheerfully have bitten off her tongue.Didn’t you just tell him you were only here because of Jake?
Kenny looked her straight in the eye. ‘No, I’m not married – or anything.’
She flushed at his quizzical, almost amused, expression and dropped her gaze, furious at the turn the conversation had taken – even if she had initiated it. She wasn’t here to find out about Kenny’s love life.Thatwas none of her business. The only connection she had to him was Jake, and however much he claimed to still love her, nothing else about Kenny’s situation mattered. Steering the topic away from dangerous territory, Ruby glanced at her watch.
‘Look, Jake will be back at any moment, and clearly there’s a lot we have to talk about. I’ve certainly got things I need to get off my chest, but this isn’t the right time or place, so let’s park this until we can talk properly.’
Kenny nodded, and Ruby, quietly relieved at the temporary reprieve from revisiting old wounds, kept the chat on neutral ground until Jake and Sam returned shortly afterwards and put an end to the conversation.
15
Ruby tucked her braids into the plastic cap and stepped into the white marble-tiled shower stall. After the emotional rollercoaster of a day, she was desperate for time alone to take stock. Adjusting the direction of the spray, she tipped her head back to let the lukewarm water cascade over her and cool her heated skin. After a few minutes, she poured some of the creamy shower gel provided with the room into the palm of her hand and smoothed it over her body, breathing in the sweet fragrance of coconut and lemongrass. Eventually, as the water flowed over her, Ruby felt the tension slowly ease from her neck and shoulders and drain away with the scented water.
The trip to the marina had ended with Jake’s return, although Kenny’s insistence on taking them to lunch at a charming, family-owned restaurant a short drive away had further prolonged Ruby’s misery. Jake’s outing on the boat with Sam had broken the ice and helped him overcome his initial shyness, and he had sat in the front seat chatting happily with Kenny on the drive to the restaurant and on the way back to Paradise Inn. Ruby, meanwhile, had maintained a brooding silence in the back seat, disconcerted by how swiftly her son had been drawn in by the father he hadn’t seen for years. Unlike Jake, she was not prepared to reward Kenny with a welcome he didn’t deserve.
People change, Kenny had said, but did people really change that much? she wondered. If she were honest, Ruby conceded, it was a struggle to reconcile the charming, party-loving, and occasionally overbearing man with whom she had once shared a life to the affectionate father and thoughtful business owner she had met that morning. Was the real Kenny – the one who could walk away from his responsibilities without a second thought – still lurking within this new mature version, and could she trust him with her son’s emotions... or her own?
Aghast at the disturbing turn of her thoughts, Ruby switched off the shower and grabbed a towel. Drying herself briskly to shake off the unwelcome direction her mind had taken, she tied her bathrobe around her and padded out of the steamily fragrant bathroom in her bare feet.
The combination of jet lag, larking around with Sam, and a huge lunch had taken its toll, and Jake lay across his bed sound asleep. Ruby slipped on a short summer dress and twisted her long braids up into a bun, and – leaving Jake to nap – she wandered downstairs and into the parlour. There were no guests to be seen and she walked over to the patio doors and stepped out on to the terrace. Enjoying the feel of the warm breeze caressing her neck and bare legs, Ruby leaned against the stone balustrade, admiring the simple beauty of the garden, and breathing in the sweet scents from the flowering shrubs. Once again, her thoughts returned to the reunion with Kenny. Briefly toying with the idea of phoning Griffin, she sighed. This time, she doubted if even the man who knew her best could help make sense of her tangled emotions.
‘How did it go with Kenny, sweetheart?’ MissIda’s soft voice interrupted her reflections, and Ruby turned to find her host standing in the doorway, an anxious expression in place of her usual bright smile. Under normal circumstances, Ruby would have recoiled at the idea of discussing her personal life, particularly withsomeone she had known for all of two days, but she had felt an instant bond with MissIda, and seeing the concern in the woman’s eyes, Ruby instinctively knew she could trust her.
‘I don’t know, to be honest. I’m still trying to figure it out,’ Ruby confessed with a helpless gesture. ‘Seeing him after all this time was so weird. I mean, he hasn’t changed much physically – although he does look a bit older – but he seems different somehow. I can’t—’
She broke off and took a deep breath to stem her babbling. ‘I suppose it went better than I expected. Jake was a bit shy around him at first, but by the time we’d finished lunch, he was chatting away as if he’d known him for ever.’
MissIda came out on to the terrace to join Ruby. ‘And you? Wereyouhappy to see him again?’
Ruby gnawed at her lip in silence for a few moments and then shook her head. ‘To tell the truth, my emotions were – are – all over the place.’ She hesitated and then said baldly, ‘MissIda, I should probably tell you that Kenny walked out on us when Jake was only two years old, and we haven’t seen him since – until today.’
