Page 33 of Sorry, Not Sorry
‘I’m always over here keeping her company, aren’t I?’
‘And how’s that helping?’ Farhan scoffed. ‘It’s not like you offer any hands-on support, is it? You might be in and out of here, but have you ever asked if you can help out with the kids – or with anything? When we all got hit with the flu, where were you? Bloody hell, you won’t even change a flaming nappy, so don’t you dare insinuate that I don’t care about my wife!’
As Farhan’s verbal blows landed squarely on their target, Delilah’s face burned with humiliation. Furious at him for twisting her legitimate concerns about her sister into a damning indictment of her own failings, she couldn’t stop herself.
‘If you care so much, then how come you’re blocking her from getting back into her career? Do you know how utterly bored she is of just being a housewife?’
‘Delilah!’ Salome’s shocked voice cut into the tense silence.
Standing in the doorway with Arin in her arms, Salome shook her head in bewilderment as her gaze swung from Farhan to Delilah. ‘What the hell is going on? I’ve literally been gone for five minutes! What’s happened?’
Ashen-faced, Farhan put the packet of crackers back into the cupboard before turning to face his wife.
‘Is it true?’ he asked quietly. ‘What she said – that you’re bored of being at home with me and the kids?’
When Salome hesitated, Farhan shook his head, his expression suddenly so deeply hurt that Delilah’s anger fizzled out like a damp firework. If she knew one thing for sure, it was that Farhan idolised Salome. So much so that he had never questioned Delilah’s importance to his wife or queried the open-all-hours access she had to their home.
She opened her mouth to apologise but Farhan’s attention was focused on Salome. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ he asked.
‘Because it’s not how I feel all the time,’ Salome whispered, rocking Arin gently in her arms. ‘I’m so grateful you’re here at home with us, and you know I love being with the kids. It’s just that at times I want to – to do something else for a change. I miss work. Not every day, but there’s times when I need contact with people who aren’t mums and who talk about something more than whose kid is teething or walking or whatever. I know you say we don’t need the income from me going to work, but I still feel guilty that you’re carrying the financial burden of all of us.’
Salome sounded close to tears, and Delilah looked on aghast.
Farhan ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. ‘Darling, you don’t have any reason to feel guilty,’ he said gruffly. ‘You do so much every day. Why was it so hard to talk to me about this? I really wish you had told me instead of—’ His voice unexpectedly cracked, and he gestured towards Delilah, who gasped, horrified at what she had provoked. Why couldn’t I keep my big mouth shut!
‘I’m sorry, Farhan. I’m so, so sorry,’ she pleaded. ‘I was being a total bitch. What I said was horrible and uncalled for. Please forgive me. I should never have said that.’
‘No, you shouldn’t,’ he said flatly. Without another word, he walked past Salome and out of the kitchen.
Delilah looked at her sister in panic. ‘Sal, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have?—’
‘Why, Delilah? How in the world could you say that to him?’ Salome sounded so stricken that Delilah could have wept.
She raised her hands and then dropped them down by her sides again, only too aware she had no excuse that didn’t make her sound like a petulant child. ‘I had a go at him for not taking better care of you, and he called me out on my own behaviour. I saw red and said the first thing that came into my head to hurt him back. I was angry, but I should never have thrown that in his face.’
‘I spoke to you in confidence!’ Salome looked devastated. ‘I thought I could trust you.’
‘You can, Sal. Come on, please. I made a mistake and I’m sorry.’
Salome’s expression hardened. ‘Do you think saying sorry is going to take the pain away? You saw his face! That’s why I haven’t said anything to him – and now look what you’ve done.’
Delilah took a deep pained breath and closed her eyes, unable to bear the reproach in her sister’s eyes. How had she managed to get it so wrong, she thought wretchedly.
‘I’m sorry… I swear I was only trying to look out for you. I overstepped and—’ She broke off in horror as Salome’s face crumpled and tears streamed down her face.
‘How could you, Delilah?’ she sobbed. ‘I need you to leave our house. Now!’
Cradling Arin’s head against her shoulder, Salome turned away from her sister and followed Farhan out of the room.
24
They had been in the café for almost half an hour and, so far, Zazie had done most of the talking. Arriving fifteen minutes late, she had launched into a list of grievances against Noah’s mother in between sips of hot water flavoured with a slice of lemon. It didn’t take a genius to pick up on Zazie’s deep-seated resentment of her boyfriend’s mother and, in Delilah’s opinion, the couple who really needed counselling was Zazie and Mrs West. But, seeing as she had herself never conquered that particular mountain, Delilah was hard pressed to suggest an approach that could work.
‘Only child syndrome,’ she had teased Noah mercilessly after he had finally coaxed her into the house next door to meet his parents. Her initial impression of Noah as the golden child smothered by his overbearing mother’s attention was reinforced when she started joining him on his weekend visits home. The Sunday routine in the West household rarely varied. Church for his parents (a practice Noah had long sworn off) was followed by a huge meal cooked by his mother. After that came a couple of hours listening to Neville’s extensive collection of vinyl records while the family caught up with the events of their week, before wrapping up the day with board games.
From the moment they arrived, Mrs West would fuss endlessly over her son, paying no attention to his obvious discomfort. The fussing had never been extended to Delilah and, in stark contrast to Neville’s immediate and warm acceptance, Mrs West’s frost-tinged formality towards Delilah had never quite thawed. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise then to learn Noah’s mother was giving Zazie a hard time, although Delilah struggled to understand why. Surely even the most protective mother in the world would find beautiful, charming Zazie utterly enchanting.
Eventually Zazie ran out of steam and Delilah glanced at Noah, who sat across from her. Despite the occasional pained expression she had seen creeping onto his face, he had let Zazie speak without interruption.
