Page 44 of Sorry, Not Sorry
Farhan squeezed her hand reassuringly. ‘Hey, give yourself some credit. I know it’s been a lot, but you’re strong, Del. Stronger than I think you realise – look how far you’ve come since… everything…’ He sighed. ‘I know I take the piss out of you at times, but I’ve got a lot of faith in you. You’ll work this out.’
Before Delilah could reply, she heard the front door slam, followed by the sound of Salome’s voice.
‘Hello!’
‘We’re in here,’ Farhan called out, and moments later Salome walked in carrying Arin. She looked apprehensive, her gaze darting from Delilah to Farhan.
‘It’s okay.’ Farhan smiled. ‘We’ve talked, and it’s all good.’
Salome exhaled loudly. ‘Thank God! I was terrified I’d come back and find you two trading blows in my kitchen.’
Delilah rolled her eyes. ‘Seriously, Sal?’
Salome’s grin lit up her face and she handed Arin to Farhan and rushed over to Delilah, who stood up and walked into her sister’s open arms. They held each other tightly for a long moment, and then Delilah pulled away, wiping her eyes.
‘I’m sorry I was such an awful pain,’ she sniffed. ‘You and Farhan have every right to hate me.’
‘That’ll never happen, hon,’ Salome said gently, stroking Delilah’s cheek. ‘God, I’ve missed you so much! Farhan explained why…?’ She turned to her husband, and he nodded.
‘Yeah, but I’ll leave you to spill the details you guys seem to share when I’m not around.’
Salome and Delilah immediately exchanged a guilty look and Farhan burst out laughing. ‘Honestly, you should see your faces!’
He tossed a squirming Arin into the air and then snuggled his face into his son’s neck, blowing a loud raspberry. ‘Okay, my boy. Let’s leave your mum and auntie to it and go and play wreck Daddy’s computer, yeah?’
Delilah watched Farhan leave and then turned back to Salome. ‘I’ve been such a selfish cow,’ she said penitently. ‘Honest, Sal, you’ve been a second mother to me since Mum died, and I wouldn’t have survived without you. No,’ she insisted as Salome tried to interrupt her. ‘Farhan was right to call me out on my crap. I knew you were struggling, and I should have been there for you instead of judging him.’
Salome eyed Delilah suspiciously. ‘Who are you and what the hell have you done with my sister?’
Delilah grinned and grabbed Salome into a tight hug, feeling lighter and happier than she had in weeks. Farhan was right: she was tough, and she would figure things out. But right now, she had her family back, and everything else paled into insignificance.
‘Come on, then,’ Salome said, releasing Delilah and rubbing her hands briskly. ‘Let’s get the kettle on. I need an update on everything!’
Two cups of herbal tea later, Salome sat back open-mouthed. ‘What? All of this happened in the last three weeks?’
‘I know, right?’ Delilah grimaced. ‘So now, I’m stuck with helping Zazie to work her charms on Mrs West so Noah can propose.’
Salome stared at her accusingly. ‘Really? Even though you still have feelings for him?’
Delilah ducked her sister’s probing gaze and studied her nails intently. ‘That’s neither here nor there. Whatever I feel – or don’t feel – doesn’t alter the fact that I’m trapped into helping him to be with someone else.’
Changing the subject before Salome could delve further, Delilah said softly, ‘I’m so glad you and me are okay again. I really do wish I’d been a better sister. Working with Arne has forced me to dig deep and think about the past and all the things I’ve spent so much energy trying to suppress.’
Salome leaned forward to take her hands between hers, and Delilah returned the pressure gratefully, not realising how cold her fingers were until she felt the warmth of her sister’s hands.
Salome said softly, ‘I’m happy you’re seeing Arne, hon. We’ve been through a lot and asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.’
Delilah nodded. It was exactly what Arne had said, but after years of refusing to open up her past to scrutiny, convinced that it had no bearing on her present, it was still a challenge to acknowledge quite how wrong she had been. ‘For years, I’ve pretended I’m over everything that happened, but finding my exes and apologising for treating them so badly has made me see how I’m still stuck in – you know, every time I feel a guy getting too close to me, it feels like I’m in danger and back there again. With Mum and… him.’ Struck by the enormity of her confession, Delilah lapsed into silence while Salome gently rubbed her hands.
‘I know this process is tough, hon, but I’m glad it’s helping to bring you some clarity,’ Salome said soberly.
‘Okay, enough about me, how are you doing?’ Delilah released Salome’s hands, ready to change the subject. ‘It was good to catch up properly with Farhan, and it sounds like you two have been through the mill.’
Salome smiled happily. ‘I’m great and feeling really positive. Farhan and I have talked – and I mean, properly talked – more in the past three weeks than we have in years. I suppose that’s what having kids does to your marriage if you let it. Neither one of us was communicating properly, and I know I should’ve been honest and articulated what I needed. I’m more focused about therapy, too, and Alison’s helping me do better at letting go and not feeling like everything has to be perfect.’
‘Thank God!’ Delilah exclaimed with an exaggerated whoosh of relief. ‘I know you think I’m all over the place but sometimes, sister dearest, it’s okay to be a little messy.’ She grinned and tilted her mug to pour a small splash of tea onto the pristine kitchen table.
When Salome instantly glared at her, Delilah widened her eyes innocently. ‘What? It’s just a tiny spill. Think of it as aversion therapy – you know, to help you get over your compulsion for perfection.’
