Page 28 of Sorry, Not Sorry
Looking flummoxed, Salome reached for the coffee she’d just brewed for Delilah and absently took a sip, immediately setting the mug back on the kitchen table with a shudder.
‘I don’t know how you can drink that stuff. Coffee smells a lot nicer than it actually tastes.’ She walked over to take a bottle of water from the fridge and swallowed half the contents in one go before turning to Delilah, who sat with elbows resting on the table, holding her face between her hands and looking miserable.
Salome was quiet for a few moments. ‘Why do you think Noah’s asking you to do this?’ she probed. ‘I mean, if the man needs relationship advice, there are a hundred other counsellors he could turn to. No offence, but why’s he picking you? Especially as you told him you’re still in training and that what he’s demanding is unethical?’
‘First off, he doesn’t give a toss about whether or not it costs me my job. Why me? Because how else is he going to hurt me like I hurt him? I think he just wants to punish me so badly that he’s not thinking straight.’ Delilah gave a bitter laugh. ‘Look, I get it, and I’d probably be a petty bitch too if this was the other way round. But seriously, just how pissed off do you have to feel to expect your ex to help you repair your relationship with your… your…’ She huffed in frustration at the word that simply wouldn’t come. ‘You know what I mean!’
Salome screwed the cap back onto the bottle and eyed her sister shrewdly. ‘So, what did you tell him? Please don’t say you’ve actually agreed to this bonkers plan?’
‘No! At least, not yet. I honestly didn’t think anyone could top you for daft ideas, Sal, but Noah’s giving it a good try.’
Salome ignored the sarcasm and came back to the table, taking a seat directly across from her sister. ‘Help me understand this, hon. If it’s unethical to counsel someone you’ve had a relationship with, why are you even considering going along with it when you’re trying to keep a job that’s so hot on ethics?’
The irony wasn’t lost on Delilah. ‘Again, I told him that, but Noah is as stubborn as a bloody mule!’
‘He’s not the only one,’ Salome murmured, taking another sip from the bottle.
‘I argued with him for ages, but he won’t budge. If – and that’s a big if – I decide to help, he needs to agree that it’ll be coaching rather than counselling.’
‘So you’d be fudging it, basically?’
‘If it comes to it, I prefer to think of it as a workaround,’ Delilah said. She drank the rest of her coffee while she absorbed the enormity of what she was contemplating. If she agreed to Noah’s demand, she would definitely be straying into dodgy territory – forget straying; what she was considering would be more like moving in and setting up home. To make matters worse, there was no way she could tell Arne what she was planning, which would be one more thing she had to keep from her therapist.
Salome looked unconvinced. ‘If he’s come up with this to hurt you back, why are you letting him? I wrote that list so you could apologise, not get involved in his messy love life. You don’t have to do this, Del.’
Delilah sat for a moment absorbing Salome’s words. Yes, of course she could refuse Noah’s request or – more accurately – demand. At the same time, a tiny voice inside her wondered if she owed Noah whatever he needed as closure. ‘Yes, I probably do. If I’m doing this challenge, then I’ve got to do it properly and get him to forgive me. Besides, I can’t get the way he was looking at me out of my head. It was like he detests me. I know I’m risking my job, but I really hurt him, Sal, so how do I say no?’
‘Noah’s really making you pay for what you did to him,’ Salome said in a voice filled with pity. She hesitated and then said baldly, ‘I know you hate me bringing this up, but why did you run away that day?’
Delilah shrugged. ‘Bad timing, bad decision, who knows. He rang just as I was looking in the mirror in your room and thinking I didn’t recognise myself. The white dress… the whole get-up – it didn’t look like me, it didn’t feel like me. I felt like I was playing a part. But it wasn’t even that… I don’t know. I remember I was feeling excited, but then when he rang and – and said… suddenly I just knew that marrying him would be a huge mistake.’
Salome’s eyebrows drew together in a frown. ‘Every bride gets nervous. Remember I threw up three times the morning Farhan and I got married? But you – you were absolutely fine until you took that call. What did Noah say that spooked you so badly?’
‘I’ve just told you! I suddenly realised that marrying him would be a mistake. Oh my God, Sal, why can’t you just let it go!’
‘But you loved him!’ Salome persisted. ‘Anyone could see that.’
‘Well, love makes people do stupid things,’ Delilah said tightly. ‘Love certainly isn’t enough reason to walk into a situation you’ll have to stay in for the rest of your life.’
Farhan walked into the kitchen holding a drooling Arin, and Salome pushed back her chair and reached for the child.
‘Come to your mummy,’ she cooed.
‘This kid oozes more liquid than a sponge,’ Farhan muttered, handing Arin over and swiping the back of his hand down the side of his trousers. ‘Maya’s having her nap so I’m going to pop down to the shops. Do you need anything?’
‘No thanks, my love.’ Salome turned to her sister. ‘Del?’
Delilah shook her head. ‘No, I’m fine,’ she muttered, giving Farhan a pointed look. He frowned, looking puzzled, but Delilah held her peace.
Salome still looked exhausted and, recalling her recent tearful admission, Delilah knew her sister wasn’t happy. While she didn’t doubt Farhan loved Salome, someone needed to remind her brother-in-law that his wife also had needs. If Sal wanted to make changes to her life, then it was her husband’s job to know that and to help make it happen. While she had no intention of saying anything in front of Salome, Farhan certainly had a case to answer, and Delilah intended to make sure he did.
21
‘You seem quiet today, Delilah. Is something troubling you?’
Startled, Delilah looked up to find herself the focus of Arne’s gaze. ‘No, no, of course not. I’m just a bit tired,’ she replied, shifting in the chair and trying not to sound defensive.
Arne made no comment and after a moment Delilah burst out, ‘Fine, the truth is I’m fed up with being off work! I have too much time on my hands and too much time to think.’
