Page 2 of Sorry, Not Sorry
‘How’s that fair?’ had already come up several times in the session, and Delilah tried not to roll her eyes.
‘Look, Brian, I understand things have changed in the relationship, which you’re not yet comfortable with, and that’s perfectly understandable. But, at the end of the day, you are both here because you want to make your marriage work – for both of you. Okay, let’s move on.’ She softened her voice, trying not to sound impatient. ‘I want you to try a different exercise. Think about three things you love most about Janine. Go on – dig deep.’
The muscles in Brian’s jaw moved, but no words emerged. The heel tapping paused, but as the silence lengthened, Janine’s cheeks reddened with anger. She narrowed her eyes and flipped back her newly highlighted blonde waves – her latest act of defiance against Brian’s stated preference for her previously straight brown hair.
‘Yeah, Brian, think! Remember what we learned last week about how you need to “use your words”?’ Janine’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she crooked her fingers into air quotes.
The previous week’s session, which had focused on communicating in a loving tone, had clearly gone over Janine’s head, and Brian’s ruddy features paled at his wife’s taunting. Trying to control the damage, Delilah hastily intervened.
‘Brian, I know it can be challenging to delve into your emotions, but Janine is trying to express to you that after many years of marriage, she feels like you no longer see her. So, if you can tell her how much you appreciate her and give specific examples of why you love her, it will strengthen the foundation of understanding between the two of you. I believe what Janine is trying to communicate here is that when you sound… er…’ Careful, no opinions! ‘…inflexible in your requests, it makes her feel?—’
‘It pisses me off is what it does!’ Janine cut in with an impatient wave of her manicured hand. ‘For twenty-two bloody years I’ve had to cancel everything just so you can have your dinner on the table at half-six. Anyone would think you’d drop dead if you didn’t eat bang on the half hour! Well, like Delilah says, it’s high time you realised I’ve got my own needs. Which means if I want to go to my Salsa class on Tuesdays at six, I bloody well will!’
Brian’s mouth worked silently while his complexion went from pallid to puce, and Delilah bit her lip in dismay. Janine clearly didn’t do nuance and was wielding Delilah’s carefully crafted words encouraging the couple to establish mutually respectful boundaries like a sledgehammer and making an already tricky situation worse. Taking advantage of Brian’s temporary inability to use his words, Delilah jumped in.
‘Janine, that’s not what I said! Look, Brian, I think what’s important here is that you acknowledge Janine’s needs and let her know you’re sorry for what could be seen as… well, being a bit domineering.’
‘Only thing I’m bloody sorry about is wasting my bloody time coming ’ere!’ Brian’s fleshy chin quivered with fury as he finally found his voice. ‘Come on, gel, we’re going!’ he bellowed.
Janine’s eyes bulged in shock as Brian jumped up and pulled her out of her chair. Before she could protest, he bundled her out of the office and slammed the door behind him.
2
Delilah stood frozen in the middle of her office staring in shock at the closed door. The silence in the room following Brian’s furious departure and forceful door slam was so electric she could feel the hair rising on her arms. Moments later, the door opened a few inches, and a head poked through the gap.
‘Del? Are you alright?’
Delilah’s expression seemed answer enough because the door opened wider, and a brown-skinned woman wearing black jeans and a purple jumper with a matching headwrap slipped into the room and quietly closed the door behind her.
‘What the hell happened? I was next door typing up my session notes and it sounded like World War Three had broken out in here.’
Delilah drew in a shaky breath and shook her head in bewilderment. ‘It was the Hendersons trying to score points off each other again. She kept pushing his buttons, but this time he completely lost it… I can’t believe what he just did, Armenique.’
‘I heard him through the wall! It’s just as well I didn’t have any clients with me, because—’ She broke off and pursed her lips. ‘You okay, hon?’ she asked softly.
‘No, no I’m not! I have tried everything with those two but it’s like talking to a brick wall. He’s a domestic tyrant and she’s got the communication skills of a raging bull.’
‘So, not exactly your dream pairing, then?’ Armenique said with a rueful smile, leaning her back against the door. ‘Well, it makes sense. They wouldn’t be here for couples counselling if they were love’s young dream now, would they? He sounded furious, though. Have you talked to Polly about them or brought this up in supervision?’
‘Not exactly,’ Delilah muttered. She ducked her head and her braids swung forward, hiding her face. She had grown close to Armenique since they’d started their training together, but Delilah had never admitted her terror of sounding incompetent in a group setting or shared how uneasy it felt for her to admit to difficulties within an open forum.
‘Del, it’s no secret that you loathe supervision,’ Armenique said pointedly, ‘but the whole point of it is to share challenges we’re having with clients – and let’s face it, you’ve had more than your share of bad luck with some of yours lately. If you haven’t given Polly a heads-up on this couple and she finds out what’s just happened?—’
She broke off at the sound of a peremptory knock, quickly stepping aside as the door opened and a slightly built woman wearing a poppy-patterned knit dress came into the room.
‘Hi Polly,’ said Delilah with a weak smile, not altogether surprised to see her manager. Everyone on the floor had probably heard Brian’s stormy exit.
Armenique pulled a face, mouthing a silent ‘good luck’ to Delilah, before slipping out of the room and closing the door behind her.
Polly stood inside the room with her arms folded, her usual cheery smile nowhere in evidence. ‘So, what happened this time?’ she asked bluntly.
Delilah inhaled sharply, stung by the implication behind Polly’s words. It wasn’t as if clients slammed their way out of her office every day.
‘It wasn’t my fault, Polly! You know how tricky the Hendersons have been to work with.’
‘Do I?’
‘Well… okay,’ Delilah hedged. ‘I suppose I could have been a bit more specific about their situation.’
