Page 97 of The Curse of Indy Moore
He tensed. “That could… happen… but you must be picky. Only choose the best of the best.”
Butterflies erupted in my stomach. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
We walked the roads of Westshire, where familiar faces offered greetings and asked their questions. Though I missed the familiarity of town, I realized I didn’t want to stay long. On the horizon, Ivory House waited with endless opportunities I yearned for.
I held the pendant tighter and thought of all the places we could go. Across oceans so deep we would never see their ends, into deserts of golden hills, and over mountains white as the clouds, to hear more languages than I could count and try food I had never seen, to listen to music and tales and write adventures of our own. A life more grand than I had ever known. I wanted it all, and I didn’t want to go alone.
Mr. Hawthorne stopped at the fence, where he opened the gate that didn’t squeak. The cottage waited at the end of the stones with sparkling clean windows, a perfectly thatched roof, and a fresh coat of paint on the door. The helping hands truly were helpful. I wondered when the cottage started feeling less like home. While it carried many happy memories, and I appreciated all of them, I found myself looking upon it like the past rather than my future.
Often, my daydreams led to the same ending, walking through that front door. I was neither content nor upset by the prospect. Standing in the yard now, I thought of that future as one to avoid. Not because I didn’t love my family waiting on the other side, but because I finally realized that I’m not leaving them behind by setting on a path entirely my own.
Behind me, Mr. Hawthorne gave an encouraging smile that pushed me to the door. The handle fit snugly in my palm, familiar and inviting. When I entered, Aunt Agnes sat at the kitchen table the same way she had when I returned to find my ruined dress. She stood with her hands rubbing each other at the waist.
“Indy,” she breathed a sigh of relief and came to me with open arms.
I hugged her while telling myself this wouldn’t be the last.
She laid her hands on my cheeks to get a good look at me. “The girls will be happy to see you. They’ll be home from school soon.”
“Then we have time to talk first?” I took her hand.
“Of course, dear.”
Aunt Agnes gestured at the table, where we ate as a family a thousand times. We sat together talking and laughing, sometimes weeping and fighting. Countless memories were made between these walls that I would never forget, including this one.
We sat facing each other although I wasn’t certain I could bear seeing her expression once I uttered the truth. Like this, she was so eager, waiting for me to speak, and unaware of what I would be asking. My heart stuttered, warning of retreat, but I knew, outside, Mr. Hawthorne waited, and in the woodlands, so did Carline. I couldn't face either of them until I faced my family.
Placing my hands on the table, I said, “I love you. I love all you have ever done for me. I’ve always felt indebted to you.”
She took my hand. “Indy.”
“Let me finish first. I’ve always felt like a burden, that I was a weight forced upon you, and I had to make up for it. I had to repay you, and I… I know how that sounds, and I want you to know you never did anything to make me feel that way; I just did.”
Her grip tightened, and her bottom lip trembled. I wasn’t any better. The tears flowed, and I let them.
“I still don’t know why, and I don’t know if feelings are meant to make sense or if they manifest however they please, but because of that, I’ve always felt like an outsider, I guess? I know you see me as part of your family, and I know I am, but deep down, I’ve always seen it as you and the girls with me on the sidelines.”
She lowered her head, and a tear hit the table.
“There has always been a hole I couldn’t fill. Father abandoning me, Mom dying, Uncle Fern, my partners, our lives, the struggles we’ve gone through. I’ve always felt undeserving of anything, of everything. I didn’t realize until this curse that I have felt cursed all along, cursed to never know true happiness because there was always something I couldn’t explain dragging me down. I’ve been surrounded by people, only to feel alone, and I’ve walked the same path because I was too scared to take another, but not anymore.”
I held the pendant tight enough that I felt each rune against my palm. “Tonight, I’m going to end this curse. Tomorrow, I will return to visit you and the girls. I’ll stay for a few days, but then I’m going to return to Ivory House because I want to.”
Aunt Agnes smiled, her cheeks wet with tears.
“Mr. Hawthorne said I am more than welcome to stay. You may keep the helping hands as they are clearly doing more than enough. But I’m going to figure out what I want. I’ll always come to visit, and if you ever need me, I will be here. I want you to know I’m not abandoning you.”
She stood, and panic set in until she caught my hand and brought me to stand.
“Oh, Indy.” She pulled me in for another hug, where she pressed one kiss after the other to my cheek. “I’m so proud of you. You’ve done so much for us, but I want you to know that it’s okay. You don’t need to explain anything to me. I understand. I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“It was never your fault.” I buried my tears in the crock of her neck that would always be a home for me, even if I was thousands of miles away. That was the great thing about family, I realized. It didn’t matter where we were. We always had each other.
She held me close, and we cried until it was time to prepare lunch. We invited Mr. Hawthorne in, where we chatted until the girls arrived. They hugged me, and we sat around a tiny room at a tinier table, telling jokes and laughing and spending what little time we may have had left pretending like nothing had changed. All the while, I kept my hand on the pendant and wished with all my might that we’d have thousands of more days like that one.
27
Where Indy Reaches for Her Wants
