Page 106 of Blind Devotion
My stomach growled. Loudly. Apparently, it was done waiting.
Adrien tugged me down into a chair over his lap, straddling his legs. My robe slipped open as my nightgown rode up to my stomach. “I’ll talk, but you’ll eat.”
The moment I opened my mouth to protest, he stuffed the tail end of a croissant inside. Buttery, flaky goodness crackled over my tongue as he swept his fingers up and down my spine. Sparks ignited down the line of touch, and I tried not to moan. This wasn’t the time.
“On your fifteenth birthday, you asked me for a wish I couldn’t give you,” he started, pressing the rest of the croissant to my lips. “I knew of your crush, but I foolishly never thought you’d act on it. I’d gotten it in my head that we were friends, bound to be wed one day far off, but that didn’t mean we’d have a traditional marriage.”
I shut my eyes tight, so flipping embarrassed of my childhood crush. He really had seen me as an obligation.
“Back then, I never thought of you as more. I don’t think I let myself, but you always mattered to me. Don’t think otherwise.” He wiped my chin of croissant flakes. “Coffee or juice?”
“Coffee.” He placed a warm mug in my hands. From the smell, he’d already added milk. From the taste, he’d mixed in the perfect amount of sugar. I smiled softly.
“Your request threw me. I didn’t react as I should have when I left you there on that beach. You have no idea how much I regretted it.”
“How could I? You never talked to me like you used to after that.”
“I couldn’t. I didn’t know Yannick was there or had any idea what he intended to do. I swear I never would’ve left otherwise.”
He took my empty mug and placed it back on the table.
“I realized my error too late. You were bleeding profusely by the time I wrestled him off you.” His fingers rubbed my robe over the small white scars beneath the nightgown. “I should have killed him.”
“He was your brother.”
“He stopped being my brother when I was eight years old. I still felt too fucking guilty to see it. So Renzo did what I couldn’t do.” He exhaled deeply and pressed a fruit tart to my lips. “There were no witnesses. No one saw Renzo snap his neck but me. It should’ve stayed that way, but your brother and I weren’t quiet while we carried you back to the house to wait for theambulance. I don’t remember what we yelled at each other. All I know is that my father understood Yannick was dead and Renzo was to blame. They didn’t know I was on the verge of doing it myself when Renzo stepped in. I would’ve, Tessa. I swear I would’ve. You have no idea how much I’ve hated myself for not doing it the moment I found him atop you.”
I swallowed my last bit of food and leaned my head against his chest, not sure what to say to help him through this. I didn’t care about would’ves or should’ves. It was done and over with, and supposing changed nothing. This was about acknowledging past hurts and overcoming them.
“Why weren’t you at the hospital?”
He kissed my hair. “You remember that?”
“Yes,” I whispered. He sighed.
“Your brother was arrested for Yannick’s death under my father’s urging. They listed me as a witness.”
“What?”
“I knew how much he meant to you. If you woke up and found out he was in prison, I worried what it would do to your recovery. So, I denounced myself.”
I frowned, circling my arms around his neck.
“But you didn’t…”
“I told the police I did it, knowing it would exonerate Renzo.”
“They arrested you?”
“No, the De Villier reach is too wide for that. My father squashed my confession before it went any further. However, that meant he had to destroy the entire case. Renzo was free to go.”
His fingers stilled against my back.
“My father never forgave me. I was always fighting for his approval ever since I was little, but this was worse. He couldn’t stand to look at me after that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. Don’t pity me. He was a decent father, in his own way, but I couldn’t see that my guilt over Yannick’s and my kidnapping gave him more power over me than he should have had.”
