Page 24 of Crossed
“Can I have a hug?” I try again.
This gets his attention, and he drops the toys he’s lining up and rushes over, leaning his body into me with his hands by his sides. He doesn’t lift his arms, and he doesn’t wrap them around me, but I don’t care. This is more than enough.
I breathe in his scent, my heart feeling heavy. “Love you, kid.”
“Love you back,” he murmurs.
I make it to the front door, twisting the knob and stepping outside with one foot before I hesitate, Candace’s death fresh on my mind. I twist to look at Dalia, who’s at the sink rinsing out our cups, her back to me.
“Dalia,” I say.
She pauses but doesn’t turn around.
“Lock up behind me, yeah?”
And then I’m gone to the Chapel, where I can leave Amaya’s problems at the door.
Chapter9
Cade
I’M TAKING CONFESSION TODAY.
I’ll admit I wasn’t sure what to expect. With the way Bishop Lamont and Parker both talk about Festivalé, I wondered if anyone would come at all, but there has been a steady stream of people here to cleanse their souls before they take Communion tomorrow. I’ve listened to everything from a housewife crying over sleeping with her stepson to a young teen who steals spare change from the register where she works so she can feed her family. Compassion lights up my heart for the latter, and my monster surges forward wanting to rid the demon from the former. As the morning bleeds into the late afternoon, the people dwindle down until there are long lags in between. I’m about to head back to the rectory when a shuffling noise hits my ears, followed by the light, airy breaths of someone new entering the other side of the confessional booth.
A pleasant smell wafts through the partition, like campfire and vanilla, a heady mix that I’ve already committed to memory. One I inhaled whenshewas close enough to touch. Every muscle in my body freezes, nerves zapping along my skin like an electrical shock.
Petite pécheresse.
I watched her dance again last night at the Chapel, keeping myself hidden in the shadows and then following her home. I had planned to kill her then, to rid myself of her, but I couldn’t, although I’m not sure why.
“I don’t…I don’t know what I’m doing here,” she whispers softly.
Blood floods my groin at the sound of her meek voice, and my hands curl into fists to keep myself in check. I’m unprepared for her to be here, and it makes me feel incredibly vulnerable.
“How long has it been since your last confession?” I rasp, licking my lips as though I’ll be able to taste her in the air.
“Years,” she murmurs, even softer than before. “I didn’t plan to come here. I just…I was walking by, and for some reason…”
My eyes flutter closed, and I count to three, desperation latching on to my bones,needingto hear her sins. “What is your name, child?”
I’m not foolish enough to believe it’s Esmeralda.
“Amaya.”
My heart stutters, and it makes me angry that once again, my body is not under my control when she’s here.
“Amaya,” I repeat. The syllables form on my tongue and settle in like a permanent aftertaste.
I wonder if she recognizes my voice. We only had a brief interaction at the Chapel, but selfishly, although I know it’s not probable, I hope she’s here to seek me out, that she’s spiraling in the depths of obsession just as surely as I am and somehow tracked me down and found out who I was.
“Am I… Should I say a certain thi— ”
“Tell me why you’ve come,” I say, cutting her off. It’s not the appropriate way to lead a confession, but I don’t care.
Now that she’s here, my mind is muddled to everything except for her.Again.I’m feral to hear her transgressions pass her lips.
“Oh, I…” She pauses again, and I dig my nails into my palms so I don’t leap from my side of the booth and pry the words from her throat myself. “I don’t know. I worked late last night and then couldn’t sleep so I took a walk today, and I kind of…” “There’s no judgment here,” I soothe. “Only forgiveness.”
