Page 77 of With Love in Sight
Emily’s eyes filled with tears. When she spoke, her words poured from her in a rush. “It was my fault. I should have told you long ago. I knew you blamed yourself. But I was so young, and the years passed, and it just seemed easier and easier not to say anything. It was horribly selfish of me. I am so sorry.” Her voice broke on a sob. She covered her mouth with her hand.
Caleb could only look at her in shock. Of anything she could have said, he had certainly not expected this. He glanced up at Imogen, who was looking at them both with wide eyes. When she caught Caleb’s gaze, she gave a quick shake of her head. So she had not known of this either.
He turned back to his sister. “How could you possibly be at fault? You were a twelve-year-old girl. You loved him so much, more than any of us could understand.”
“But that is just it, don’t you see? I was jealous of you.”
He stared at her. “Jealous of me?”
She looked down at her hands. They were gripped tightly together in her lap. “We laughed at what you had said to him the night before. You had acted so important in front of your friends, were becoming a man of your own. Jonathan admired you so very much, and I could see that, even though he made light of it, he was hurt by what you had said. But he was so ready to forgive you, to let it pass. I, however, was not.” She swallowed hard. “I provoked him, used his small hurt, enflamed it. Jonathan was my best friend, but he looked up to you so very much, at times he hardly saw me.”
Her breath hitched in her chest. “I didn’t know my taunting would compel him to follow you. I caught him that morning, sneaking from the house. And instead of stopping him, I went with him. I should have stopped him—”
Her voice broke off on a sob.
Tears burned in Caleb’s throat. What she had suffered all these years. All this time he had been blaming himself, she had been thinking herself guilty. And with the reminder of the scar on her face, reflected to her from every mirror, was it any wonder it had dragged her into the shell of a creature she was now?
He left his seat and went to his knees in front of her, reaching out and gently pulling her to him. He folded his arms about her thin form, and for a moment she sat frigid in his embrace.
“It is not your fault, you know,” he whispered into the top of her head. “It is not your fault.”
She gave a violent shudder before, with a soft cry, she crumpled in his arms. He held her up, gently rocking her, as her fingers dug into his shirt, her tears soaking the fabric. He caught sight of Imogen’s face as she made her way to the door and quietly let herself out. There were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling.
Caleb knew in that moment a lifting of the burden that had propelled him on for so many years. The ever-present crack that throbbed so painfully in his heart began to heal. For the first time in too long, he felt peace.
Chapter 32
Imogen had just packed the last of her things away for the trip back to London when a knock sounded at her door.
She hurriedly wiped at her eyes, which had been continually moist since she had left Caleb and Emily an hour or better before, and called out, “Come in.”
It did not surprise her to see Caleb stride into the room. Nor did the painful twist her heart gave. What did surprise her was the lightness in his eyes. She could not remember ever seeing such a free expression on his face.
She smiled. “You are reconciled.”
“Yes.” He looked amazed, as if he could not quite believe it was possible.
“I am glad,” she whispered. “So glad. It was my fondest hope.”
He stayed silent for a long time, gazing at her. Without warning, he strode to her, taking her face in his hands. She gasped as he bent and brushed his lips against hers.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you for giving my family back to me.”
She could only stand there mutely as his lips traveled butterfly soft over her mouth, her cheeks, her eyes. She reached up, gripping his shoulders. She thought of returning to London the next day, of never seeing him again, and just barely stopped the sob that threatened to burst from her lips.
She would miss him, so much that even the thought of it nearly broke her. Just one more memory, she thought greedily. Just one more kiss, one more embrace to sustain her.
Imogen pushed herself onto her toes, her lips pressing to Caleb’s. Her hands found their way into his hair, dragging him to her, deepening the embrace. She had never been so bold, had never taken charge in such a way before. She could feel the shock of it freeze up every muscle in his body. But he didn’t remain that way for long. With a groan his arms went around her back, crushing her body to his. His mouth opened over hers and Imogen felt as if her very breath were being stolen from her lungs. She would not think of tomorrow, would not even let a whisper of the future intrude right now. She was in the arms of the man she loved—that was all that mattered.
She arched into him, pressing into the lean strength of his body. His hands splayed over her back, kneading through the layers of material and into her muscles, moving down until he cupped her bottom. Heat pooled between her legs as she felt him, hard and insistent, pressing into her belly. Desire snaked across her limbs, down her thighs, leaving her knees too weak to hold her. His arms tightened, pulling her even more completely into his body. She wanted nothing more than to sink to the floor, to pull him atop her, to feel him fill her.
But even with these thoughts, when he made to move deeper into the room toward her bed she froze. No, her mind screamed, even as her body ached, begging for him, begging for release. Her mind desperately fought for dominance. She knew once they reached the bed that there was no turning back. Finally, with a strength she didn’t know she possessed, she wrenched herself free.
She scrambled across the room, trying to distance herself from him, knowing if he came near her that she would fall back into his arms. He watched her intently, his face a blank mask, the only sound in the room their labored breathing, but he made no move to go after her.
“I’m sorry,” she gasped. “That was a mistake. That should not have happened.” With trembling fingers she straightened her spectacles.
He considered her for a long moment. Without warning he began walking toward her. She scuttled along the wall, away from him. He paused.
