Page 78 of With Love in Sight
“It was no mistake, Imogen,” he said carefully, his voice low and measured, as if he were talking down a frightened horse. “Don’t you see what we have together?”
“Yes,” she said shakily as she rounded a chair. Her fingers dug into the cushioned back. “We have friendship, and passion. But that is not enough, Caleb.”
Her throat closed up before she declared herself. For heaven’s sake, she was practically begging him to admit to stronger feelings. But even as she knew those words would not come, she found herself holding her breath. All it would take, she knew, to keep her here, was some hope that he could love her. Just the smallest kernel.
Instead he said, with a hint of impatience, “Of course it is enough. Imogen, we have had this discussion before.”
“Yes, we have,” she agreed hollowly.
“I believed you could be made to come around.” He ran a hand through his hair, his agitation apparent. “I do not know why you have proven so stubborn in this. It is ideal on both sides. You get a husband, will get out from under your mother’s thumb. I get an ideal marchioness, one who understands me and whom I feel a great deal of passion for.”
Imogen shrugged off the mounting despair, instead drawing herself up before him. “It may be ideal for you, my lord. But it is not for me.”
Caleb threw his hands up, his voice rising. “No? And what is ideal, living the life of a spinster, falling back into a shadow under your mother’s tyranny?”
She flinched. He saw it, a look of contrition falling over his face. “Forgive me. That was not well done of me.”
“I’m sorry, my lord,” she managed through a throat tight with tears, “after those glowing words, but my decision stands. I will not marry you.”
With as much dignity as Imogen could muster, she went to the door, pulling it wide. It was an unmistakable dismissal.
He was silent for so long that she felt her forced calm begin to crumble. When he spoke, his voice was saturated with disbelief. “Imogen, you cannot mean that.”
She straightened her back until it ached, keeping her gaze straight ahead. “I assure you, I do,” she replied, putting as much cold certainty into her voice that she could muster. “You have known all along that I won’t marry you. It should come as no surprise.”
“Is this your final answer? Because I promise you, I will not repeat my offer again.”
His voice was so filled with confusion and hurt that she nearly relented. Instead she gripped the doorknob tighter and swallowed past the lump in her throat. “Yes,” she whispered, “it is.” She took a deep breath. “My father and I will be leaving at first light tomorrow morning. Please don’t see us off. And please don’t seek me out in London.”
There was a heavy silence. Out of the corner of her eye she saw his head swivel to her trunks, packed and stacked against one wall, and then return to her.
“As you wish.”
He brushed past her, his steps faltering for only a second. Then he was out the door and down the hallway. She closed the door before, with a violent sob, she sank to the floor and let loose her tears.
• • •
Caleb stood at one of the tall windows in the Long Gallery the following morning, his hands clasped behind his back. Below him, in the front courtyard, the carriages waited in the early morning sunlight, the first rays of dawn having just broken through the tree line. Footmen were putting the last of the trunks into place, Imogen’s maid and Lord Tarryton’s valet disappearing into the smaller carriage.
A minute later Lord Tarryton himself appeared. He looked briefly back at the house, shaking his head mournfully before climbing into the larger carriage.
Caleb’s eyes eagled in on the space directly beneath him. Suddenly she was there, Emily’s arm tight about her shoulders. Imogen’s back was straight, her hair back in that infernal bun. She received Emily’s hug stiffly before climbing into the carriage. He could just make out her dim profile through the window, could see her pale cheek and the tight line of her mouth.
His eyes locked onto her, devouring her, taking in what he could. He willed her to look up, to acknowledge him, to show even a small bit of the loss he felt at their parting. But she did not, and with a jolt, the carriages lurched forward, and he could see her no more. Within moments they were rounding the circular drive, slipping through the tall stone columns and down the long avenue.
He didn’t know how long he stood there. He only knew the carriages had disappeared from view long ago and the sun was climbing to its zenith when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.
He pulled his tired eyes away from the horizon reluctantly to look down into Emily’s upturned face.
“Caleb,” she said softly. Her own eyes were red-rimmed as she looked at him, but she gave him a small smile.
“Do you know what I could use right now?” she asked him. “A good pounding ride. What do you say to joining me?”
He wanted to return her smile, but his mouth would not respond. He was about to tell her he wanted to be alone right now, but he looked at her and saw a near reflection of his own grief mirrored. Emily had come to care for Imogen as well and had to realize what this sudden leave-taking meant.
He felt humbled. That she was opening herself to trust him, to need him, after what had occurred between them, was brave indeed. And if she could be brave enough to show her need for him, then he could as well. He held out his arm to her, his heart lightening a bit when he saw relief pass over her face.
They made their way to the stables, and before long they were mounted up and galloping over the vast back lawn. Caleb let his gelding have his head, concentrating on the feel of the horse beneath him, the rhythmic sound of the hooves pounding into the ground, the way the wind whipped past him and burned into his eyes. Emily kept pace beside him, leaning low over her mare’s neck. He had not known she could ride so well, and found himself wondering what else she could do, what else she liked and disliked. He truly didn’t know a thing about his sister. He felt a biting regret of the years lost, but pushed it away as he thought of the time they had ahead of them to know each other again. He had his sister back, his entire family back.
