Page 26 of What's a Duke Got to Do With It
But that had not lasted long. In truth, that feeling, as freeing as it had been, had disappeared the moment she had returned to the drawing room. Letting her guard down had been a dangerous thing; it made the cold shoulders and snubbing that much more painful. She could not forget what society saw her as. After all, they certainly would not. Now, as she was about to embark on an outing so much more public than last night, she held on with both hands to the reminder of who she was.
Something that was, unfortunately, necessary when she saw His Grace waiting with Mr. Bridling by the front door. The way he looked at her, with a kindness that bordered on affection and tenderness, made her ache to throw off the opinions of others until it was just the two of them. It was tempting, yes. But what would happen when he left in just a couple of weeks? He would go off, marry his Miss Bridling. And nothing would be different for Katrina. She would still have this scandal hanging over her head, would still have to worry how it was affecting those she cared for most. Worse, if she did not rein in these quickly growing feelings for him, she would wind up mourning the loss of him, someone she could never claim for her own.
And as she turned away from his greeting with barely a smile, she determined to remember that.
Which was no easier to remember an hour later as she stood at the side of the long ball room, the crown jewel of the Assembly Rooms, and her traitorous eyes searched out and found the duke for what must have been the hundredth time that night.
No hard thing. The man was one of the tallest in attendance. And to Katrina’s eyes, he was the handsomest by far. But after all the scolding she had given herself regarding the man, you would think she would know better.
She was saved from further silent berating by a cane smacking her shin. Yelping, she jumped back, looking down at Lady Tesh, who brandished said cane at her threateningly.
“I told you to dance, girl,” the woman said, glaring at her.
Katrina blinked. “But… no one has asked me.” Which the woman must surely know, seated as she had been the whole while beside Katrina.
Lady Tesh rolled her eyes. “That is because you are stuck to my side like a limpet. And if there is anything a potential dance partner does not want, that’s me as an audience.” Here she smirked, no doubt fully aware of how terrifying she was to most of Synne. The woman wore her irascibleness like a badge of honor.
But her self-satisfied expression was quickly replaced with her customary sternness. “Now off you go,” she said, flapping her cane in Katrina’s direction, causing Katrina to stumble back lest she be the recipient of yet another attack by that frighteningly active piece of wood. “If I don’t see you dancing tonight, I shall let you go on the spot.”
With that, she turned away to talk to the woman on her other side. Katrina, with no other recourse, bit her lip and edged away from the long line of seats reserved especially for the more elderly of Synne’s population. Lady Tesh could order her to dance all she wanted. But if no one asked her, there was not much she could do about it.
And it did not appear as if anyone was inclined to ask her any time soon. Especially as every time she came near a group, the members of that group invariably eyed her with distaste and turned their backs on her. After the third such reaction, Katrina, feeling suddenly exhausted, quickly scurried to an empty corner at the far side of the long room.
How different this experience was from when she was young. Then, she had been highly in demand, so much so that she had not been able to sit once during a ball. Each evening she had returned to their London town home after hours and hours of dancing, her feet and head aching horribly.
And yet she had been so very happy. Or, at least, she had believed she was. She had not thought anything could ruin the veritable charm that her life had become after being so thoroughly ignored throughout her childhood. After feeling lonely for so long, she had found herself popular, and courted, and had reveled in the attention.
But it had all been so fleeting. And when scandal had come calling at her door—or, rather, her bedroom window—not a one of those fine people who had claimed to be her friends had stood by her side. Every one of them had turned their backs on her, spewing gossip and cruelties with glee. And she had been made painfully aware that her life had been a mirage.
Now, at least, she had friends aplenty. Though, as luck would have it, none of them were here tonight. But perhaps that was a blessing. She did not want to consider what the Oddments might have to say to her if they knew what her plans for her future were. Her eyes scanned the crowd, seeking out the few men she had managed to single out as possible husbands. Mr. Young was, of course, not here tonight, as he was no doubt home with his brood. And Mr. Kendrick had proclaimed more than once that he was too old for such events, as it made his gout flare up horribly.
But there was one man she could count on to be here. Her gaze found Mr. Finley, then a short distance away. He stood at the edge of a group of young women, talking and laughing with a petite brunette in bright yellow. The girl blushed at the attention, smiling shyly. As Mr. Finley moved closer to her, however, the girl’s friends closed ranks and separated them, bobbing curtseys as they all shuffled away.
It was not the first time Katrina had witnessed a scene of that sort with the man. Mr. Finley, while friendly and attentive, always at the center of whatever event was happening on Synne, had a way of looking at a woman that somehow did not feel… quite right. She would not say her skin crawled whenever he settled his interested gaze on her. But some muted alarm went off in her head that she could not begin to understand.
Just then he turned and spied Katrina. A wide smile spread over his face as he nodded her way.
Despite herself, Katrina shivered. If she had choices aplenty, she would have hurried away, as she usually did when he was near. But Synne was not exactly thick with suitors, especially not for someone of her reputation. And so, taking a steadying breath, she offered a smile in return. It was no doubt a tense, pathetic thing. She was not an actress, after all, and had never been particularly adept at feigning emotions she did not feel.
But she must have done a good enough job at it, for Mr. Finley’s eyes flared with surprise before narrowing in obvious interest. Smoothing his hand over his slick hair, he strode toward her.
“Miss Denby,” he murmured in an amiable tone that nevertheless had her muscles tensing as if prepared to take flight, “how lovely to see you. But I cannot believe my good fortune in finding you without your employer nearby. Has she given you the evening off then?”
It was with utmost will that Katrina kept her pathetic excuse for a smile intact. “Indeed she has, Mr. Finley. She has bid me to dance the evening away.”
“Which you are not doing,” he said, making a show of looking about for her nonexistent partners. “Though I suppose that has more to do with the events of a month ago. Otherwise your loveliness would have them lining up in droves.”
Katrina just kept herself from blanching at the mention of the scandal. At least the man was showing interest in her. Sadly enough, she could not ask for better than that.
Swallowing hard, she said in as flirtatious a manner as she was able, “That is because no one has asked me yet.”
“Is that so?” the man murmured. “Well, then, allow me to be the first. Miss Denby, will you do me the honor of the next dance?”
It was what she had wanted, of course. But that didn’t make in any easier to say, “I would be delighted.”
Nor did it make it any easier to take his hand. Thank goodness they were wearing gloves, she thought a bit wildly as he guided her toward the floor. She did not think she could hide her unease were he to touch her with his perpetually sweaty palms.
Which, of course, made her think of what happened between two people who were married, in the privacy of their bedroom. Something she was all too familiar with, considering the abundance of material Lady Tesh had sponsored and that Seraphina supplied to the unmarried young women of Synne through the Quayside Circulating Library. If she married this man, he would touch her in those intimate ways. And there was nothing she could do to stop it.
