Page 42 of What's a Duke Got to Do With It
Of course she had misread what he had said. Foolish thing.
“I assure you,” she said, “I have given it plenty of thought.”
He frowned, his frustration palpable. “But to settle for a perverted reprobate or a man old enough to be your grandfather who looks at you as if you’re an object he’s considering buying?” He closed his eyes, blowing out a sharp breath, and seemingly his agitation with it. His eyes were back to bleak when he opened them again. “I am sorry. That was not well done of me. You do not deserve this. You do not deserve any of this. But there has to be someone else for you.”
Her frustration, however, was more expansive, more consuming than his could ever be. “Do you think I have not considered someone else? Do you think I want to marry those men? Of course I have considered everyone else. I’ve lain awake for hours wracking my brain for any other option that would grant me the respectability I need to protect those I care for. But you saw the way those people left the Beakhead when we arrived. This whole mess is affecting Adelaide’s very livelihood. In addition, you must be more than aware of the fact that my dear friend Honoria Gadfeld is now forced to conceal from her father when she wishes to spend time with me and Lady Tesh. She is lying to a vicar to keep her continuing relationship with me under wraps. And only God knows what is befalling my other friends. Not only that, but the respect Lady Tesh has garnered over the decades is now tarnished. People talk about her behind her back, they malign her. And I cannot stand that it is because of me—”
Her voice cracked, her words eaten up by the breeze blowing in off the sea. She turned away from him, looking to the horizon. Just two nights ago she had walked this same stretch of pavement on Sebastian’s arm, beneath colorful lanterns and serenaded by musicians, surrounded by the laughter of her friends, and she had been able to forget, for a short time at least, all the troubles that plagued her.
But here in the bright light of day she could not ignore it.
Sebastian remained behind her, silent, and she could feel the tension rolling off him in waves, like fog rolling in from the ocean. She drew in a deep breath and hugged her arms about her middle, keeping her gaze far, far away from him. If she saw pity in his gaze she would break.
“And so, to answer your question,” she continued low, “I have considered every avenue possible to me, every other man who might be willing or able to take me on. Most see me as a social pariah that would be fine to bed, but certainly not fine to wed. The few that are left are part of a very small list, and it grows smaller each time you step in with the determination to save me from a horrible fate. But I assure you, I would much rather be unhappy in a respectable marriage than to give my loved ones a moment more grief from just trying to be my friend.”
She turned then, but it was not to face him. No, she looked back at the Beakhead. Adelaide was standing in the open door, worry plain on her face. Just further proof that she was no good to her friends as she was.
“Let me help you.”
Those four quiet words, said in his wonderfully deep voice, were like a slap to the face. “How can you possibly help me?” she demanded.
“I won’t interfere any longer for one.” He tried for a smile, an attempt no doubt at lightheartedness. But it quickly fell away, leaving nothing but strain in its wake. “Mayhap I can help you find someone more suitable. Someone who can treat you with the respect you deserve, who can make you happy—”
A harsh laugh escaped her lips, so rough he flinched. Ah, God, was this what she had sunk to? That the man she had been well on the way to falling in love with would have to help her find someone willing to marry her?
“There is no need for that, I assure you,” she managed. “I’ll be heading back to Seacliff now. Please tell Lady Tesh I am ill and will send the carriage back for you all.”
With that she strode off, praying with all her might that she could make it to the carriage before she broke down.
Chapter 14
Once again I am forced to corner you, Your Grace, to get to the bottom of things.”
Sebastian, who had rushed to open his bedroom door with the wild hope that Katrina was the one knocking after they had all retired for the night, stared down at Lady Tesh’s stooped form in sober realization. What had he thought would happen if it had been Katrina at the door? Did he think she would have come with the express intent of having him kiss her again, even though they had both agreed such a thing was to never be repeated, and it was the last thing he should want with both their futures on the line? Or, worse, did he think she had decided to take him up on his asinine offer to help her find a man to marry?
What the hell had he been thinking? Even now, hours later, that question battered his brain like a pugilist’s fists. Just the thought of her marrying another made him slightly ill; did he think he would be able to traipse about Synne looking for a fiancé for her? That he could assist her in flirting with another and gaining their admiration?
Not that it should be something that troubled him. He was set to marry another, after all—if things went well with Bridling, that was. And Katrina deserved happiness. He should want her to find someone who could give her everything she required.
Yet the very idea of her being held by another man, of making a life with him and having his children and growing old with him, had bile rising up until his chest and throat burned with it.
But Lady Tesh was waiting. And woe to the man who made the dowager wait on anything.
Straightening his shirt—and insanely grateful that he was still wearing said shirt, as well as his trousers—he stepped aside and motioned her within. “Would you like to come in, my lady?”
“Indeed.” So saying, she swept past him, her gauzy bright pink robe trailing behind her, Freya trotting along at her heels. She made her way to the half-circle of seats before the fire, sinking down into one of the overstuffed chairs with a sigh. Freya jumped up into her lap, curling into a ball and closing her eyes.
“It has been some time since I was alone in another man’s bedchamber, you know,” she mused as Sebastian settled himself in the chair across from her. “Regrettably I am past the time when such a thing is considered scandalous. Though in my day I daresay you would have been more than happy to have me at your door in a nightrobe.” She smiled, looking for all the world like a cat that licked the cream, eyes narrowed in thought. “You’re just my type, after all.”
Sebastian gaped at her. Surely the woman wasn’t flirting with him. In the next moment, however, her expression sobered, the lightheartedness gone in the blink of an eye.
“Miss Denby will reveal nothing of what went on at the Beakhead this afternoon. Or, at least, not the truth of the matter. She would insist she was feeling ill and you saw her in distress, thus the reason for your interference in her conversation with Mr. Kendrick. She also insists you went after her to make certain she got home safely.”
Lady Tesh speared him with a stern look. “Miss Denby, however, has always been an appalling liar, and this time is no exception. But she looked as though she might shatter when I questioned her on it, and I did not want to add to her distress. And so I come to you, Your Grace, to hear the true story of what happened this afternoon.”
He could easily dismiss the dowager and send her back to her bed. It would be no hard thing to corroborate Katrina’s story.
But Lady Tesh blinked quickly then, as if she were holding back tears, and he saw the worry for Katrina in the sheen of moisture in her sharp brown eyes and the lines of tension bracketing her mouth. The whiteness of her knuckles where they held her cane, the strain in her knotted fingers, was proof of her attempt to retain control over her emotions. The woman was worried for her companion, and deeply so.
