Page 65 of What's a Duke Got to Do With It
But he was waiting for her to answer. Clearing her throat and straightening her spine, she said, her voice only shaking slightly, “May I come in, Mr. Gadfeld? I would like to speak with you.”
After a long silence where the vicar stared at her as if he did not quite understand what she was saying, he finally gave a quick, shallow nod and stepped aside for her to pass. She went straight to the small sitting room off the front hall, Mouse following quietly at her side, as if he understood the need to be on his very best behavior now more than any other time. She sat quickly before her shaking legs gave her anxiety away, then waited as Mr. Gadfeld settled across from her.
He looked her over, seemingly exhausted if the dark circles under his eyes were any indication, before motioning to the bag at her feet.
“Were you going somewhere, Miss Denby?”
“I was,” she replied steadily. “But I decided I shall not be run off from this place I love so much. I am going to stay and fight.”
His lips quirked at one corner, though there was no humor in the action. “I suppose that means confronting me.”
“It does.”
He nodded, as if that made perfect sense. “You shall not be the first to call me out on my actions of the past month. And no doubt you shall not be the last.”
It was a much milder response than she had expected. And as she stared in incomprehension at this man who had just hours ago railed at not only herself but also Lady Tesh, and the utter silence of the house settled around her, she realized something was very, very wrong.
The vicarage had never been so quiet. With four lively girls housed within its stone walls, it could not be. Yet the silence of the house was jarring.
“Mr. Gadfeld,” she said, “where is everyone?”
A quick tightening of his mouth was his only reaction to her question. “Out,” he said curtly, harshly, before meeting her gaze. His eyes were like chips of ice. “Say what you came to say. I’m quite busy.”
Katrina was tempted to shrink into her seat and babble out apologies.Be small, be quiet, don’t cause problems. It had been her mantra for her entire life, said to her over and over again during her childhood. And she had always failed abysmally, causing it to be repeated until it was all she heard in her head.
Now, however, she was tired of being small. And she was done with being quiet. And if she caused problems while doing both, so be it.
She sat forward, a new fire burning under her skin. “Firstly, I am not going to bother explaining myself to you. No matter the truth behind the scandals that have taken place in my life, no matter that I was not at fault and that nothing untoward occurred, I know you are only going to believe what you wish to believe. And that is not my problem. It is your problem, and yours alone.”
His eyes narrowing was his only reaction to her words. Emboldened, she continued.
“Secondly, I am going to remain on Synne. It has become my home, and I love it and the people on it, though you would do your best to turn them against me. And if Lady Tesh and my friends want me here, there is nothing on this earth or beyond that will tear me from it.
“Thirdly,” she continued, “you shall no longer punish Honoria for her friendship with me. She is a good friend, and a loving daughter. Despite what has occurred between you and I this past month, I know you have been an incredible father to her and have raised her and her sister and her cousins right. They all have good morals, are kind and giving, and you should be proud of each and every one of them.”
His lips parted, a harsh breath escaping them. But Katrina hardly noticed for how desperately the words in her chest wished to be released.
“But your opposition to her wishes have caused her a grief that she does not deserve. And you shall lose her, and mayhap all of them, for all her sister and cousins love her, if you continue as you are. That is not a threat, but a fact. I know what it is to lose your family. And I would not wish that on anyone.”
She rose, and stood staring down at the vicar, who suddenly looked very small. But there was one more thing she needed to say.
“I don’t want an apology from you. Indeed, I don’t expect you to give one to me even if I wished for it. But I will not see Lady Tesh or my friends hurt further by your agenda to vilify me. You shall cease your attacks and allow me to live my life here in peace.” Then, having said all she had come to say, she made to leave. Let the vicar do with that what he would; it was not up to her, it was up to the man himself.
But as she turned to go, the vicar spoke, his voice harsh in the quiet of the room.
“One would think you are a demon sent from hell to punish me for my sins, for all your words have cut me to the quick.”
Startled, Katrina turned back to look at the vicar. His face was wan, though his eyes burned with grief.
“I am not a demon, Mr. Gadfeld,” she said quietly, resuming her seat. “I am merely a woman who is struggling, and who loves your daughter dearly and does not wish for her or you to suffer from loss of family as I have.”
His next words, as strangled as they were, stunned her to silence. “I have already lost them,” he managed. “They have gone, each and every one of them.”
She gaped at him. “I—I don’t understand.”
He closed his eyes as if in abject pain. “Honoria was the first to go. Of course she was. She learned what had occurred at Lady Tesh’s and packed her things immediately to stay with Miss Peacham at the Beakhead. And once she was gone, and the younger girls learned what had happened, they left as well, along with the housekeeper, to stay at the Master-at-Arms. They said, and I quote,we shall not return until you make things right.”
“Oh.” She blinked, at an utter loss. “I… did not know.”
