Page 39 of The Duke's All That
They lay quietly beside one another for a time, not speaking, his bulk warm and comforting against her side. But as the minutes ticked past, she still found herself afraid to close her eyes. What if it all came back, that horror that had been her truth? She ached to curl into his side, to feel his arms about her. Yet pride kept her mouth closed tight, even as her lids remained open, and she stared with stinging eyes at the faint outline of dark beams on a pale ceiling. Just when she felt she would twitch out of her skin, he spoke, his voice a soothing balm on the rawness of her soul.
“Do you wish me to hold you, Seraphina?”
In answer, she rolled onto her side, curling her body against his. His strong arm came about her, holding her tight, his heart beating steady and sure under her ear. And as exhaustion finally claimed her, relaxing her body and dragging down on her eyelids, she thought maybe, just maybe, he could chase the demons away.
Chapter 17
For the second time in two days Seraphina woke to find herself wrapped in Iain’s arms, though each experience was as different as night and day. While that first morning had been filled with horror and embarrassment, this morning she woke to quite a different set of feelings.
There was no panicked urge to extract herself from his embrace for one. No, she rather thought she would be quite happy to remain curled up against his large body for the foreseeable future. She rubbed her cheek against his chest, sighing contentedly, letting the deep, even sound of his breathing lull her. She could not recall a time when she had felt so protected and safe. At least, not in the last thirteen years.
She should perhaps feel shame after the scene she had made last night. It was not often she allowed herself to be so vulnerable, and especially in front of others. She was the strong one, the one who kept her head even in the direst ofcircumstances, the one others looked to when times were hard. She was certainly not the one to receive comfort. And she had prided herself on that. How else could she have protected her sisters when all seemed lost, keeping one step ahead of their father when he hunted them like dogs, building a life for them out of nothing but pure determination? If she had shown a bit of weakness, if she had allowed even a moment of uncertainty or fear, everything would have crumbled out from under them.
Yet here, in Iain’s arms, it felt so very right to let her worries go, even for a short time.
He stirred, his body shifting against her own, his arm tightening, and she tensed. It was one thing to find comfort in his presence when he was asleep; it was quite another to let down her guard when he was fully conscious. What would be his reaction to finding her in bed with him again? Yes, he had come willingly last night, had even been the one to offer to hold her so she might sleep. But mayhap he would see it differently in the light of day. Would he look at her in aggravation that she had ruined his sleep by making a spectacle of herself? Or, worse, would he pity her for losing control? When he stilled, then pulled back, no doubt due to the unexpected realization of how entangled their bodies were, she was certain her fears were about to be realized.
But she could not have been more wrong. Leveraging himself up on his elbow, he gazed down at her. And there was nothing but worry on his face.
“You are well?”
The concern in his voice had her eyes itching in the most baffling way. Not from tears, of course. She never cried. Nevertheless, she blinked furiously to alleviate the feeling.
“Yes, I’m well,” she whispered. “I’m sorry about last night.”
“You’ve nae need to be sorry about anything,” he replied. Then, reaching up, he brushed a stray tendril of hair from her cheek, his fingers caressing her skin.
She shivered from the tenderness in his touch, which transformed to waves of sensation that rolled through her body. Why? Because of one gentle brush of fingers on her skin? Was she that starved for human affection? Not that she had ever been without it. She had plenty of people in her life who would offer it to her, and gladly; her sisters and her friends were affectionate creatures to a one.
No, they had always been ready with open arms for her; she had been the one brushing off physical affection, seeing it as a weakness, something that she could not indulge in lest she let down her guard and with it her armor against the world. But after her vulnerability of the night before, something had shifted, and she recognized the yearning she had kept buried for so long. Yes, she had been starved for physical touch. But it was no one’s fault but her own; she had been the one to starve herself, until her soul was emaciated from it. And she found she was hungry, so very hungry.
What would it feel like to let go of her tightly held control, just a bit more, with this man she had loved so long ago, the one man who had ever shown her gentleness? And then, because she could not stop herself if she tried, she wound her arms about his neck, and raised her head to brush his lips with hers.
It was the barest of touches, as light and delicate as a flower’s petal. Yet his reaction was deep and real, his entire body jolting as he drew in a sharp breath. When she raisedher lids to look at him, his eyes seemed to have claimed all the brilliance of the rising sun.
“You dinnae have to show your gratitude that way, Seraphina,” he said, his voice hoarse.
“It was not gratitude that had me kissing you, Iain,” she replied softly.
He swallowed hard. “What was it, then?”
In answer she pulled his head down and claimed his lips with her own.
By God, she was like heaven in his arms.
Did confusion still run rampant in his whirling mind? Yes. But he was not a fool. He had seen the desire in her eyes, in the faint curve of her lips. She wanted him, perhaps even akin to how desperately he wanted her. If that wasn’t enough, the feel of her hands in his hair as she pulled his head down to kiss him within an inch of his life would have certainly done the trick.
And he wanted her, so badly his soul ached with it. He groaned as her tongue delved into the recesses of his mouth, tangling with his own. She had always been a passionate creature, eager and enthusiastic, their furtive kisses having driven him wild with desire for her in their youth, culminating when they had consummated their secret marriage. But there had always been something nervous in her then, an uncertainty that had no doubt been brought about by her innocence.
Now, however, she was certain, confident, taking control as she shifted their bodies, pushing at his shoulders until he fell on his back with her atop him. He went willingly, eagerly even, following her lead in this new dance. She gripped his head with both hands, as if to hold it still for heronslaught. Her body pressed into his, strong and lithe, and he ran his hands over the flare of her hips, trailing up her spine, across the muscles of her back until he was cupping the back of her head. The soft, silken strands of her hair threaded through his fingers, drifted down over his forearms, brushed his cheeks, carrying with it the heady scent of lavender and soap andSeraphina. He dragged that scent into his lungs, so she was not only above him but within him as well, and his head spun from the joy it brought him.
This is how it should have always been for them. This wild desire, this need for one another that had not dimmed over years of forced separation and perceived betrayal and God knew what else that had been thrown in their paths. They had found their way back to one another again.
All so they could drive the last wedge between them by securing a divorce.
No! It was wrong; he felt it in his bones. This thing he had worked toward for so long, had traveled the width and breadth of England for, had forced Seraphina into doing, had become in the last day and a half the very last thing he wanted.
Gasping, he broke the kiss, staring up at Seraphina with new eyes. Damn but she was beautiful, her bright eyes heavy-lidded, her pale skin stained pink, her lips swollen from kissing. And then she smiled, and his heart somersaulted in his chest.
