Page 45 of The Girls in the Lake
He shook his head. ‘No thanks, I’m too tired.’ He crossed the room towards her and she pulled him close. Beth wrinkled her nose; he smelt like the lake – the musty, earthy smell of someone who had been by the water. Instantly she was transported back to Friday night when she’d fallen in. She stepped away from Josh in alarm, and even though she told herself to let him have a hot shower and get some sleep, the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.
‘What’s going on, Josh? I know you were at Jodie’s last night. I saw your car there this morning. Why didn’t you come home?’
His pale face flushed deep red. ‘Nothing, well not what you’re probably thinking.’
‘What am I thinking then? Because you haven’t been home for two nights. I don’t think I’m too demanding; the least you can do is be truthful.’
She didn’t know whether it was the surprise of being caught out, embarrassment or anger but his voice was much louder than usual.
‘Were you spying on me? I haven’t lied to you about anything.’
‘No, maybe you haven’t. But you also haven’t exactly been telling me the truth. Are you and Jodie back together? Have you been sleeping with her?’
Confusion clouded her mind; he looked so hurt and dejected.
‘Is this you, or your friend Chardonnay speaking?’
She was speechless. He’d never mentioned her drinking before. Anger sparked inside her chest.
‘What else is there to do? You’re never here and when you should be, you’re telling lies and sneaking around with other women. This is my house. If I want a glass of wine, I’ll damn well have one.’
Afraid to face him, she ran towards the stairs and her bedroom, slamming the door behind her for good measure. She was angry with Josh, but also angry with herself for behaving the way she just had, and for reminding him he was in her house. She threw herself into the bed, pulling the duvet over her head and listened to him moving around downstairs. Eventually, he came upstairs, but he didn’t open the door. Instead, she heard him go into the bathroom and the shower turn on. As she lay there wondering why she’d behaved the way she had, waiting for him to come to bed, the wine began to work its way around her brain and her eyes began to close. She was asleep before he’d even stepped under the shower head.
* * *
Opening her eyes the next morning, her heart tore in two when she realised that, once more, she was alone in her king-size bed. She lay there confused and blinking. It was still dark outside and the sound of the driving rain as it lashed against her bedroom windows was somewhat comforting. Josh would be in the spare room or on the sofa. She got up, pulled on her dressing gown and went to check, stopping in her tracks as she passed the bathroom and noticed his toiletries no longer taking up shelf space. Her heart began to race. She rushed to the spare bedrooms, checking all of them. He wasn’t there. Opening up the closet, she realised his case was missing and felt a sharp, stabbing pain inside her chest. She ran down the stairs, praying he’d be curled up on the sofa and an anguished cry left her mouth when she realised he was gone. Rushing to the front door, she threw it open and was instantly drenched by the rain driving down. His car wasn’t there, just hers.Beth, what have you done?she whispered into the rain, her words lost in the downpour.
Back inside, she didn’t remember ever feeling this sad in her entire life. She didn’t want to be on her own; she didn’t want to have to wake up without seeing Josh’s smile, the glint in his eyes. They just seemed to fit together like they were always meant to be. He made her feel alive again. She stepped into the kitchen, water dripping onto the grey slate tiles. She needed to get out of her wet pyjamas. Unbuttoning them, she let them drop to the floor and made her way naked to the bathroom. Josh was gone; she’d driven him away with her accusations and her drinking. She didn’t even realise she was crying until she looked in the mirror to see her swollen, red eyes. There was nothing she could do, not right now anyway. Picking up a towel, she began to rub herself dry.
Back into the bedroom, she pulled a fresh pair of soft brushed cotton pyjamas from the drawer. They were warm and felt good against her skin as she climbed back into bed. She would shut her eyes and pray for a different outcome when she woke again to be on call from twelve noon onwards. Pulling her duvet over, she grabbed the pillow Josh used and hugged it tight to her chest.
* * *
A ringing phone woke her. Opening one eye, she reached out with her fingertips searching for it.
‘Beth Adams.’
‘Doctor Adams, it’s Helen from the control room at Penrith. Sorry to bother you, we have a sudden death of an eighteen-year-old. Her mother found her collapsed on the bedroom floor, unresponsive.’
‘What time is it?’
The question threw the voice on the end of the phone. ‘It’s, er, almost two.’
She opened both eyes. ‘What’s the address.’ Sitting up, she grabbed the notepad and pen she kept purposely by the side of her bed.
‘Thanks, Helen, I’m on my way.’
‘I’ll let the duty DS know you’re on your way.’
Beth said goodbye. She’d almost asked who the duty DS was, but she already knew it would be Josh. At least she’d see him; maybe she could apologise if they got a moment alone. Although, that wasn’t her style; once Beth was at a crime scene she would switch into professional mode and nothing would distract her from her work.Not even Josh?the voice asked inside her head. She replied out loud, ‘No, not even Josh.’
Fifty
Beth arrived at the address; the large wooden gates were open and inside were an assortment of police vehicles, an ambulance and now her. She glanced in the rear-view mirror, checking her appearance. She looked presentable; amazing what some concealer and foundation could do to hide the dark smudges under her eyes. Her ash grey hair was a bit of a frizzy mess, but she could blame it on the rain.
Josh’s car wasn’t here and she wondered if she had it wrong; maybe he wasn’t on call. Getting out, she leant into the boot of the car to grab her case. Walking towards the house, she heard Josh’s voice, simultaneously realising a police van was blocking his car from view. She pushed down all the feelings threatening to surface and switched into professional mode. It wasn’t happening, not here, not in public. Josh looked up and walked towards her. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him look so miserable. He nodded in greeting. No smile; she didn’t smile back.
‘What have we got?’
