Page 96 of The Hollow of Fear
She was looking at him rather fondly—and that made his heart beat fast. They lay a few inches apart, he propped up on an elbow, she with her head on a pillow, a hand under her cheek. He brushed a strand of her hair back from her forehead, taking care not to touch her elsewhere.
“Is it true, what I once heard your sister say, that you don’t like to be embraced?”
She took some time to think. “Sometimes Livia needs to hold someone, and I’m the only suitable person nearby. When I was little, I used to wriggle out of her arms and escape to a corner of our room. But it wasn’t so much that I couldn’t stand being held as that I didn’t want to be held indefinitely. Later I taught myself to count to three hundred to mark five minutes—which helped me to realize that she needed only about half that time. I can take two to three minutes of being held. But Livia remains hesitant to this day—she’s still scarred by my bolting away from her embrace.”
He would be, too.
In fact, sometimes he felt scarred by her, even though she had never done anything except be an excellent friend.
She lifted her hand and hesitated for a moment—as if she expected to be brushed aside—before she reached across and touched the back of her hand to his jawline. “I know I’ve said this, but you shouldn’t have come.”
“I know. I’ve lost my mind.”
She tsked. “But I guess I can’t be entirely displeased, especially given that... What do you call that thing you did?”
“Madam, I did more than one thing to you.”
“You know the one I mean. I don’t think they did that even in Sodom and Gomorrah.”
“You should give Sodom and Gomorrah more credit: After living there, Lot’s daughters thought nothing of incest.”
She laughed—and giggled again after a moment. “My, you are a wittier man in the vicinity of a bed.”
Now it was he who grinned. “Maybe I’m just more relaxed after a good roll in the hay.”
“Which reminds me...” She climbed above him. “Is there time to do it again?”
“I did not,”protested Charlotte.
“Yes, you did,” insisted Lord Ingram, half-laughing. “You told me I was odd-looking. Said Roger Shrewsbury had the perfect face but mine was just odd.”
“No, I wrote that everyone’s face was odd to me. And Roger’s was odd, too, because it possessed near-perfect symmetry, which is highly unusual.”
“And how is that different from saying that he has the perfect face?”
She studied his face with pleasure, because it was so much more arresting and magnetic than Roger Shrewsbury’s. “Have I told you lately, my lord, that, compared to you, Mr. Shrewsbury is a sadly inadequate lover?”
A beatific smile spread slow across his face. “I apologize, but a thousand gardens just bloomed in my soul.”
She returned the smile. “I’m not sure why, but I’m beginning to wallow in this particular pettiness of yours.”
She wasn’t sure that she wanted to understand the full spectrum of human emotions—everything that remained seemed dire to one degree or another. But this warm, silly mutual delight,thisshe wouldn’t mind experiencing until she comprehended its place in the world.
Alas, they could not cocoon themselves off for much longer from the realities they faced. Soon her lover honored her request from earlier and recounted what had happened at Stern Hollow, culminating with his departure.
“Things have progressed faster than I thought,” she murmured.
“If I hadn’t left when I did, the next time you saw me would have been in jail.”
She traced a finger along his brow. “Chief Inspector Fowler is convinced that you would have killed a wife who came to you carrying another man’s child. But what would you have done, if Lady Ingram had indeed returned in such a state?”
“The thought alone gives me nightmares.”
“But you would have taken in the child, in the end.”
He expelled a breath. “Of course. I was such a child.”
It was hardly analogous. His parents had had that tacit understanding Chief Inspector Fowler had referred to, with none of the acrimony that had characterized his own marriage. But he would never have blamed the child. Would have done his best to make sure that it was treated with kindness and generosity.
