Page 20 of Lost on Ice
Yet even though I haven’t seen her and don’t know that she’ll take that approach… the mere thought of it makes me feel a twisting in my stomach. Anger pulses through my blood. This is not going to be a happy morning, I suppose.
When the elevator doors open, I grip my suitcase hard and march toward the continental breakfast area, right outside the lobby. There’s a TV playing local news, and the room is busy with people moving through the buffet line, piling their plates with waffles, eggs, bacon, sausage… the usual. I look around and spot Carter and Tom at the end of the line, and sitting in a corner booth together are Sophie and Abbie. Neither of them have spotted me yet, so I make my way to the start of the buffet to get my food.
Once I’ve got a plate full, I hesitate. Do I go to them? Break the ice?
Nah. I head toward the table where the guys are sitting next to the girls’ booth, bypassing them. The two women are deep in conversation, thankfully, and oblivious to anything else around them—including me. That said, right as I’m coming near, I do catch a bit of their conversation… and their words freeze me in my tracks.
“I checked in with Dad,” Abbie says. “He says the kids are doing great and getting along.”
“I’m not surprised,” Sophie replies with a smile. “Your Lilah is such a sweetheart; she could get along with anyone. Even my little devil.”
I stop in my tracks. A cold sweat breaks over my skin as I listen to both women laughing, and I struggle not to change my expression.
Abbie has a kid.
A girl.
Who the fuck is the father?
A tidal wave of jealousy crashes over me, catching me by surprise. Sure, I know what we had going on years ago was just casual. No commitment, no promises—she would’ve been free to see other men, no questions asked. She never hinted that there was anyone else, though. I’m certain I would’ve at least been able to suspect if she’d been with someone else. Still, it would’ve been none of my business, and even if she wasn’t with someone when we were hooking up, it’s not like I expected her to join a fucking convent after I cut contact.
Yet, the idea of another man with his hands on her—kissing her, holding her, fucking her—infuriates me. I want to hunt down the bastard who knocked her up and beat the shit out of him for touching what’s mine.
Except, she’s not mine. I made sure of that. There’s no reason for me to feel jealous, but I can’t control the feeling as it rages through me. Is she still with the father? No… no, Abbie isn’t the kind of girl who’d cheat on a husband, so that can’t be the case. When she was fucking me last night, I was the only man on her mind, I’m sure of that.
So, whoever the father is, she’s not actually with him. Not officially or anything. I hate how much that helps ease some of my anger. Even as I try to reason my way through this, another thought crashes through my head.
How old is the kid? Could she be… mine?
That’s crazy. Isn’t it? Abbie would’ve told me, except … I guess, maybe not. I did cut her off, after all.
I don’t want kids, though. I’ve never really wanted them.
The memory of Cassandra, that bitch, tricking me into thinking she was pregnant just to trap me pops into my head and disgust crawls up my spine. When it turned out she’d faked the whole thing, I’d been so relieved I’d almost been in tears.
When I thought she was pregnant, I was terrified. Dreaded the thought of being stuck with that woman for the rest of my life. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to have kids, because I never wanted to risk making my son or daughter feel the way I felt growing up. As though they were an inconvenience or a mistake, and especially with Cassandra, I don’t know how I’d be able to keep myself from feeling that way about the baby.
Strangely enough, thinking of Abbie having my kid doesn’t make me feel that way. It makes me feel kind of content. It’s weird and unnerving.
Shaking my head, I snap myself out of the daze and lower my gaze as I continue to the table with the guys, praying Abbie didn’t catch me staring at her.
Once we’ve all had breakfast and everyone has packed their things and bundled up, the team and the adults all gather in the lobby. Carter and Tom are with Jordan, Bodhi, and Theo getting ready to leave for their final game of the weekend. I look around for Abbie, but when I see her with Sophie off to the side, looking at their phones and having a hushed conversation with each other, I hesitate. Last night was so fucking great, I want to talk to her and see how she’s feeling, but she hasn’t looked at me or acknowledged me at all this morning. It’s confusing and a definite blow to my pride. Deciding to give her the space she so clearly wants, I make my way to Carter and Tom and the boys.
“Hey.” I stop next to Carter and clap him on the shoulder. “Are you guys taking off soon?”
“Yep. Gotta go get ready and warmed up.”
“Jake!” Jordan exclaims. “Are you coming to the game today?”
“You gotta!” Theo insists.
“It’d be really cool if you did,” Bodhi adds in a softer voice.
“Oh, wait, do you have a game you need to get back to?” Jordan appears thoughtful for a moment. “I don’t remember there being anything on Boston’s schedule.”
I chuckle. The kid would have the team’s schedule practically memorized. He loves hockey more than anyone I know - even me.
Scratching my chin, I think about it for a moment. I’m not ready to head back to Boston yet, and I don’t have practice or anything for a few more days.
