Page 25 of Lost on Ice
My stomach pitches and memories of that nightmare push their way to the forefront of my mind. It was right after Sophie and Carter’s wedding. I went out one night and got drunk. Too drunk. Like blacked-out drunk. I kind of remember meeting Cassandra before everything went blank. She was tall and skinny, with long brown hair. Pretty, but acting like a typical puck bunny who is looking for hockey dick.
Except, she wasn’t typical. She was a fucking nightmare in a short skirt. Drugged me and convinced me we’d fucked. I’d never felt so much rage before. So much humiliation and disgust. So much shame. I’d been with Abbie not long before and eventhough we weren’t in an actual relationship, it felt wrong when I’d thought I’d slept with someone else.
And it’s taken me years to try and overcome that.
I didn’t think I’d ever see Cassandra again… and then she showed up on my doorstep two months later.
“Jake, I have something I have to tell you.”
I remember just staring at her, trying to figure out who she was.
“Okay… what is it?”
“I’m pregnant.”
I frowned, confused.“Congratulations?”
She’d sighed, putting on a pretty good show of seeming flustered and distressed.
“Jake, it’s your baby. We slept together two months ago. Don’t you remember me? Cassandra?”
It had taken me a minute before I recalled waking up next to her naked in bed.
“Oh, fuck.”
My response hadn’t pleased her. She’d cried and accused me of being an asshole player who only used women for one thing. Her guilt trip didn’t work, though, and I’d demanded proof that she was pregnant and threatened to bring my lawyer into it. That’d freaked her out enough that she confessed it was all a lie.
She’d roofied me that night at the bar and set everything up to make it seem like we slept together. A fucking trap, the whole thing had been a lie.
Cassandra’s deception left me gutted and suspicious of every woman who’s approached me since. That wasn’t the only consequence; I’d ghosted Abbie when I thought my world was burning around me. By the time I was able to get my shit back together, she was gone, and it was too late to fix things between us.
I’d told myself it was for the best. That it was never supposed to be more than sex anyways. But I’ve never been able to stop thinking about her.
And after this weekend, I’m not so sure it was ever only about sex.
Carter has stopped working on the snowman, even though we are nearly done. I realize I’m just staring into its little black eyes like a total goofball, not saying a thing. Finally, I shrug again and put on what I hope is a convincing smile.
“I’m good, man.” Shaking my head and shoving those memories away, I glance back up at Carter. “I know it wasn’t Abbie’s fault,” I murmur. “But…you don’t go through the kind of thing I went through with Cassandra and not come out of the other side suspicious of everyone around you.”
Carter picks up some snow and pats it into the snowman as the silence stretches between us. He seems to be considering his next words carefully.
“Then … why did you want to come back here?” he asks at last. “Because you don’t trust anyone around you in the city?”
I chuckle. It sounds as forced as it is.
“No, I’ve actually been thinking about sticking around here more long term,” I say. “I’m getting sick of the party scene and don’t think Boston is the best place for me right now. Some time here might be just what I need.”
Carter gives me a skeptical look, clearly not buying it.
“What?” My tone is more defensive than I mean it to be. “It makes sense. I miss my family, and I’m tired of the city.”
“You miss your family?” Carter arches a brow. “You’re seriously going to try and convince me with that bullshit?”
Fair. Maybe I miss my younger siblings, but I certainly don’t miss Mom or my stepdad, Kevin. They don’t miss me, either. I’m certain of that. Mom always viewed me as a mistake she made when she was young and stupid, and Kevin always consideredme an unfortunate burden he was stuck with if he wanted to be with Mom: He made it pretty clear how much resented having to raise another man’s son. Not that my dad was willing to step up to the plate for me either.
Shrugging, I say, “Okay, you got me there. I am getting tired of the city, though. My teammates are great, but everyone else around me feels fake. At the end of the day, why not come back here? The people I care about most are all here.” I toss some snow at him. “And the commute isn’t so bad, right?”
Carter laughs as he brushes the snow off. Still, he arches a brow and I can tell he’s not buying what I’m trying to sell. “Yeah, I mean the daily commute between here and Boston isn’t too bad. I did it for two seasons after all. But… not going to lie, I never thought I’d see the day where you got tired of city life. Mid-life crisis hitting pretty hard, huh?”
