Page 3 of Lost on Ice
“I yuh you, mommy,” Lilah grabs my arm and drags me down to press a nugget-crumb-filled kiss to my cheek.
“I love you too, baby girl.”
She hums happily as she eats the rest of her dinner. After I put her to bed in her little toddler bed in the corner of the room next to mine, I take my laptop to look again at the apartmentwe’re going to be renting. I can afford a two-bedroom in Ivy Glen versus the big city rent of Harrisburg. It’s a cute little unit with a balcony off the kitchen, and Lilah will get her own bedroom and bathroom. Each unit has a washer and dryer as well, which is better than some other options I found where they have a laundry room for the entire building. I click through the pictures again, trying to convince myself it’s fine; the world isnotending because I’m going back home.
It’s not like I had never planned on going back to Ivy Glen. I just never thought it would be so soon. Uncle Andrew and Aunt Lori have run Wixx Medical Clinic since it opened thirty-five years ago. In fact, I worked there for years before I moved to Harrisburg. They never had kids of their own, and I’m the only family they have that went into the medical field. It’s always been kind of understood that I’d take over one day. I just wish it were under different circumstances.
Yawning and shutting my laptop, I’m about ready to head into bed when I check my phone.
My blood runs cold. It’shim.Again. Bile churns in my gut as I read the message.
Unknown: You should wear your hair like you did today more often. That French braid makes my cock hard.
Chapter Two
ABBIE
A few weeks later,the clear January sky greets me as I pass the large, wooden road sign that says “Welcome to Ivy Glen.” Lilah fell asleep about halfway through the journey, around three hours ago. The mirror on the headrest gives me a good view of her rear-facing car seat as I drive, and her little baggy of cheddar fish snacks is long forgotten on the seat next to her.
Passing the sign and arriving in Ivy Glen gives me mixed feelings. My chest is filled with anxiety and worry about bringing Lilah home and facing everyone for the first time in years. I’ll have to explain to Sophie why I dropped off the face of the earth and became the world's shittiest friend. What if Jake comes back for some reason and we cross paths? What if someone puts two and two together and tells him he has a daughter?
Moving back to Ivy Glen is my only hope of losing the stalker, though. If he doesn’t know where I am, he can’t see me, and maybe the messages will stop.
The texts started about six months ago and began with a single random text from an unknown number that told me how my lips would look wrapped around that motherfucker's cock.
Then he started calling meLittle Lamblike I’m some helpless thing. I went to the police in Harrisburg, and they told me they couldn’t do anything unless someone actually tried to hurt me.
Such bullshit.
After the text a few weeks ago that made me resolve to never wear my hair in any kind of pigtail again—braided or otherwise—they kept coming, once every few days like clockwork. Like he knew I was going to be leaving. This morning’s text was somehow even more disturbing:Little Lamb, do you want me to chase you? You know I love when you play hard to get.
The only way he could find me in Ivy Glen is if he somehow figured out where I’m from and tried to find me. Either that, or he directly follows me, and I’ve been obsessively watching all the cars behind me to make sure there’s none that have tailed me all this way. Thankfully, the coast has been clear.
Regardless, I double-check Lilah in the rearview mirror, and there she is, little head tipped back and mouth slightly open as she sleeps. Logically, I know that nothing could have happened in the last three minutes to hurt her, but this whole stalker thing has made me all too aware of how vulnerable she is, and how desperately she needs my protection.
The sun is just setting when we pull into the neighborhood of Carter’s mom, Vivianne; Dad now lives with her here. Carter has always lived in the rich part of town, something I hadn’t thought about while we were growing up. Now that I’m fresh off a six-hour road trip with a toddler and coming from a cramped one-bedroom apartment, I feel inadequate driving on this road. Like people will look at me and know I don’t belong.
It’s too bad I can’t stay at Dad’s old house while I’m here. That would’ve made this whole thing easier, and the comfort ofmy childhood home would’ve been something tangibly nice to return to. But he sold it a few years ago after he and Vivianne moved in together, so here we are.
My own stresses aside, I’m glad he has someone now. It had been weird when my dad started dating Carter’s mom, but in a good way. He’d been alone since Mom left when I was little, and Vivianne had some of her own stuff to work through with Carter’s dad that led up to him getting arrested. Now, here Dad and Viv are, four years later, happily living together. I don’t think Vivianne ever wants to get married again after her disastrous marriage with Jeremy Williams, and I’m not sure if Dad would either. He’s never sounded happier, though, and I’m grateful to Viv for giving that to him.
I pull into the driveway in front of Viv’s white colonial home, parking behind my dad’s car. I get Lilah out of her car seat and head to the front door, Lilah’s still-sleeping head resting on my shoulder. It’s a bit warmer here than in Pennsylvania, but there’s snow on the ground, so we’re just bundled up in sweatshirts.
A bolt of apprehension runs through me before I reach the door. Vivianne’s never met Lilah, but of course, she knows she exists. Obviously I would’ve never asked my dad to keep this secret from his partner. Given Viv’s history with secrets and time to heal, she’s let me know in so many words that she respects whatever decisions I’ve made regarding knowledge of Lilah to the rest of the community, so I know she is there for me and I know that wouldn’t share the news to anyone else without my approval. So why am I feeling so nervous to be here?
I guess it’s just that the reality of the moment is sinking in. I’m here. This is happening. Time to stop delaying. With my heart pounding, I ring the doorbell.
The door opens, and Vivianne’s beaming face comes into view, crystal blue eyes shining with warmth. Her gray-streakedblack hair is cut into a smart bob, and the blue of her cardigan brings out her eyes.
“Oh, Abbie, it’s so good to see you, dear,” she gushes, wrapping her arms around me and my sleeping little girl. All of my earlier worries disappear in the wake of her embrace. Her face softens as she runs a finger down Lilah’s cheek. “She’s just beautiful.”
I hug her so tightly I’m almost surprised. It does feelsogood to see her. Almost makes this whole trip worth it. I love the fact that being here will make it so Lilah has some kind of grandmother figure of sorts, considering my own mom abandoned all parenting duties when I was five. “Thank you, Vivianne. It’s great to see you too.”
“Come in, come in.” Vivianne ushers us into the house, shutting the door behind us. “Michael, your girls are here!” she calls out gently so she doesn’t wake Lilah.
Dad bounds down the steps, a huge smile on his face as he takes us in. His full head of gray hair is styled perfectly, his navy blue half-zip sweater complementing Viv’s outfit. “Hey, sweetie!”
“Hey, Dad.” I let out a deep breath as Dad wraps me in another hug, careful not to jostle Lilah, and kisses me on the cheek. Experiencing one of his familiar hugs is as comforting as being wrapped in a warm blanket in front of a fire. I haven’t seen him since he came out for my birthday in August. Over the years, he’s tried to never go more than three months without seeing us, but I insisted he stay home this Christmas to be with Uncle Andrew since he’s sick.
