Page 33 of Lost on Ice
“All right, you have some explaining to do.”
I look up at Sophie with my brows raised and my mouth stuffed with pizza. We’re sitting together at my kitchen table, pizza box open between us, a glass of wine in front of me and grape juice in front of her - so she can feel “fancy” - and we’re both wearing comfy sweats and t-shirts. We’re cozy, and totally relaxed.
Well, mostly.
I try to ignore what I know she’s saying. “I don’t have to explain anything about how damn good this wine is. It speaks for itself.”
She points a finger at me. “Stop it. You need to tell me what really happened between you and Jake. All of it. Back then and whatever is causing the current tension, because I can tell something is going on.”
I stare at her for a moment. Damn… I should’ve known this was coming and that I couldn’t keep anything from Sophie. Not for long, anyway.
“God,” I mutter. “I need a long, long drink for this.” Grabbing my wine, I take that long drink before letting out a sigh. “Damn it, seems like no matter what I do, Jake comes around andmesses everything up. Even just a nice evening with my best friend, and?—”
“Spill the details.”
“Okay, so… Jake and I hooked up the weekend we were in Connecticut. I confess. I was hoping it would just be a one night thing that I could forget about, but clearly that’s not the case since he’s decided to fucking come back to Ivy Glen and do that aforementioned life ruining thing all over again.”
Sophie’s eyes go wide. “I knew it!”
“Yes, yes, yes, you’re very smart.”
“Well, this is good, right? You two can try to make a go of it for real.”
I snort. “That’s not going to happen. Nothing’s changed between us in the last three years. Connecticut was a mistake - I should’ve learned my lesson after your wedding. Honestly, I should have learned my lesson way before then.”
“What if he’s different now? I mean, the way he looks at you…”
“Hell no, he can barely commit to the next sentence coming out of his mouth, much less a relationship. It was always all about sex for him. And I can’t do casual, even if I spent all those years pretending I could. I told myself before your wedding that I was done, but we hooked up anyway. After that night, I came home and Jake went back to Boston. I didn’t hear from him again after that. He totally ghosted me, and then I found out I was pregnant…”
My voice flares up a little at the end and Sophie reaches across my table and takes my hand. She doesn’t say anything, letting me take a moment to catch my breath before I keep going.
“I was so embarrassed,” I admit, wiping a tear from my eye that I’m surprised by. I didn’t realize how raw these wounds still were.
“It’s okay.”
“No. I knew I only had myself to blame. And I made so many mistakes. Not communicating to you, going so far…”
Sophie rubs my back. Her eyes are soft. “You did what you could to protect your child. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She paused for a moment. “But you know you have to tell Jake, right? You can’t keep this a secret forever. That is, if he didn’t figure it out after today.”
Closing my eyes, I sigh. “Yeah, I know, but if he doesn’t want her, which I’m pretty sure he won’t, Lilah is the one who’ll get hurt. I can’t risk that, Sophie. I remember Jake talking about how awful his family still is to him and how he never wants that for himself. He won’t want to be with me and Lilah.”
Sophie gives me a sympathetic look. She cups the side of my face and brushes her thumb over the tear on my cheek.
“If he doesn’t want you two, he’s an idiot, but he still deserves to know.”
I sigh. “I know. It’s just going to take me a little time.”
“That’s fine. You’re allowed to take your time with this kind of thing. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”
I beam at her. “You’re the best. Now, enough about Jake. Can we please, please, please not say that asshole’s name again tonight? I want to focus on positive things.”
She laughs. I laugh with her. “You got it,” she says. “What’s a better subject?”
“Literally anything.” I wipe my eyes again, but my smile remains. “How are things going with the accounting firm? I’ve heard through the grapevine you’ve really expanded the last few years.”
“Oh, yeah, I have!” she exclaims. “Carter always said I’d have clients lining up at my door, and he wasn’t wrong. I’ve taken on so many accounts, I’ve had to hire extra hands to stay ahead of everything.”
“That’s amazing!” Pride swells up inside me. I always knew she’d kill it if she ventured out on her own - she just needed that little push of confidence Carter helped her find. “And your parents? Are they good?”
