Page 81 of Lost on Ice
Even if Jake doesn’t want to be with me in the end, he should still have the opportunity to really be Lilah’s father…especially because he’ll be so damn good at it.
Before I finish the story, she’s nodding off, cuddled up against me, and I just want to stay here with her. I don’t want to put her in bed and walk out the door, but I have to. It’s for her own good.
Setting the book aside, I stand, cradling her in my arms and move to her bed. Tucking her in, I give her a kiss on her forehead and then just stand there and gaze down at my daughter for several minutes before I force myself to turn and walk out the bedroom door.
Dad’s waiting for me in the hall, his gaze sympathetic as I close her door behind me.
“You okay?” he asks.
I blink back the tears gathering in my eyes. “No… not really, but I will be once this is all done.”
He scratches at his chin. “I know Jake is gone tonight, so if you want to stay…”
“No, no,” I shake my head. “I’ll be fine, Dad. Thank you, though. Just keep Lilah safe for me.”
“Absolutely. You stay safe too. If anything happens to you…”
He chokes up a bit and I close the distance between us and give him a tight hug.
“Don’t worry,” I murmur. “The police are looking for the guy and Jake made sure the apartment is secure. Nothing will happen to me.”
He wraps his arms around me and gives me a squeeze. “I know, I know, but I’m your father. It’s my job to worry.”
Chuckling, I reply, “I get it. I’ll be fine, though. I promise.”
He kisses my forehead and then walks me through the house to the front door. I tell him and Vivianne goodbye before heading to my car. He stays on the front step and watches me pull out of the driveway, waving when I start driving off down the street.
I sit in silence the whole way home, not even putting on the radio. My chest aches and I’m still struggling to hold back my tears, no longer needing to put on a brave face for the people around me.
By the time I get back to the apartment, I’m heartsick and lonely and hate how quiet it is because the people I want with me here, more than anyone in the world, can’t be close right now — and it’s all my fault.
Chapter Twenty-Six
JAKE
The clock is countingdown the last few seconds of the game. We’re tied, one-to-one, and the crowd is on edge. We won the game last night, but that doesn’t make me care any less about this one, and it’s the same for the fans. I can practically feel their heartbeats pulsing in the air as I move down the ice, waiting for my opening. I’m half-focused on the clock, half-focused on the other team’s net as I wait for my forward to pass me the puck at the exact moment. We’ve got one chance… I cannot miss when the time comes…
Just before the clock hits zero, my forward fakes out the goalie, slaps me the puck, and I shoot it without hesitation. When it flies past the goalie and sinks into the net, the buzzer goes off, indicating the end of the game.
The crowd goes wild—the home side furious, and our traveling fans are losing their minds, cheering for us.
My team rushes toward me, and we celebrate, high-fiving and roaring like we’re warriors returning from victory on the battlefield.
“Way to go, Ashford!” one of the guys yells.
“Great shout!” Another shouts as he smacks me on the shoulder.
We soak in the victory a little longer before making our way out of the rink and to the visitor’s locker room. I feel fucking awesome, but there’s a part of me that wishes Abbie and Lilah were both here to see me. I want to celebrate with them more than anyone else.
Thinking about them fills me with a longing I’ve never experienced before. As if I’m missing something vital.
The usual routine isn’t cutting it anymore. Once upon a time, I’d be planning on going out with the guys, getting a little wild, and shutting the bars down.
Now, I’m not so eager to partake. If anything it sounds exhausting and not worth the effort. The carefree bachelor life I’ve been living, and thought I’d always want to live, doesn’t appeal to me like it used to.
I just miss Abbie and Lilah.
As the other guys continue joking and riding the high of the win, I get my shower and get dressed. When I’m cleaned up and ready, I make my way out of the locker room to head to the bus that’ll take us to our hotel.
