Page 36 of Meet You Half Way
“There certainly is but we are so far away from overexposure that we are in very real danger of underexposure. I neeeeed you, Mateo. The world neeeeeds you. We all need more of you and that pretty face,” Glen pleaded. “Jamie agrees with me, don’t you?”
“I agree with some of that sentiment,” I nodded, feeling Mateo’s eyes flick my way.
“You think I should do more modelling work?” he asked me. Like, legitimately askedmefor my opinion on his career. I wasa little gobsmacked that he cared enough for my views but I gathered my thoughts together quickly before responding.
“You seem very at home and very at peace here in this world,” I told him. “Maybe it would be good for you.”
“Listen to the handsome man,” Glen cut in. “Actually, that jawline of yours would look really good –”
“Nope. Not even for a second,” I said, holding back my laugh.
“If you say so. Always worth a shot,” Glen shrugged before his focus returned to Mateo. “Listen, beautiful. These are the job offers I have currently on the table,” he continued, pulling out a thick wad of documents in a folder. “Take these home with you and have a think. I’ve put the ones I think would work best for you at the top of the pile including some of those edgy clients who like to push boundaries I know you like working with.”
“Okay. I’ll think about it,” Mateo said, taking the folder from Glen which had him beaming.
“Excellent. Now, let’s talk Sydney Fashion Week and then I’ll let your lovely Jamie take you home.”
I dropped Mateo off out the front of his little beach house late Sunday afternoon. His conversation with Glen about the fashion shows he wanted Mateo to walk in had taken a lot longer than I had expected and my mind had wandered before the meeting abruptly ended. I’d drunk three of the coffees and eaten most of the food that Glen had brought too, Mateo barely nibbling on a piece of croissant while I tried to push food his way.
He was quiet again as I pulled up at his house and opened his car door for him. He let me do so without his usual complaints and I walked him to his door.
I left it to him about what happened next and he paused at the bottom of the step, turning to face me.
“Thank you for this weekend,” he said, expression a little closed. “I would have been in huge trouble if you hadn’t come to my rescue.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied. “It was actually fun.”
A grin tilted up his lips. “I told you you’d enjoy it.”
“I’ll believe you next time,” I dropped, hoping he’d comment on when thatnext timemight be. He didn’t, offering me a short smile before he turned and walked up to that pink front door. I waited until it was closed behind him before I was back on the road to Sorrento.
I was feeling restless as I sat in my empty house later that evening, this feeling of needing something or rather, someone, keeping my mind from its usual state of peace.
I’d crossed some line with Mateo this weekend, some line that was making it difficult to dismiss this as nothing but a sequence of casual hookups, the way I knew Mateo saw things between us. I knew I was always too quick to fall, too quick to see things that maybe weren’t there. And I had a growing feeling Mateo was going to have me falling hard and deep this time.
Question was, would I be able to pick myself back up when I did indeed inevitably fall? Or was I there already? In which case, was it already too late for me?
CHAPTER 15
mateo
Ilay in bed on Monday morning, in no mood to get up and face another day at the office. It was becoming harder each day to front up to the firm knowing I’d be there alone. I could hardly pretend that working in an architect’s firm was a passion of mine. I did it because I liked working with Dante. But without him there to keep me company it was becoming patently clear how much I didn’t like the work.
I sighed as I shifted onto my side, hand tracing the empty sheets of my bed. The side where Jamie had slept on Saturday night in Glen’s penthouse.
And that right there was another reason for my current lethargy. I didn’t know where Jamie fit inside my brain. I could feel him infiltrating it, taking up more real estate and more of my thoughts and energies. But I still didn’t really know how he and Ifit. Not like how I knew where Nick fit in my brain because he had taken up residency there on the day I first met him nearly ten years ago and I’d never been able to serve him an eviction notice.
Jamie had seen another side of me this weekend too, one I had managed to keep hidden even from my two best friends. Iknew he’d seen it, had even commented on it when I had asked his views on me taking on more modelling clients.
The problem was I think he’dlikedme more the way I was in Sydney amongst people who either didn’t know me or didn’t care about my sexuality one way or the other. I just never knew how to bring that person home with me. I didn’t know how to be free and happy and careless with my smiles and laughs or where I directed my attention. It didn’t come naturally to me the way it did to someone like Jamie. Someone like Nick.
I just didn’t think I was all thatlikeable.
I’d spent last evening going through the folder of potential clients Glen had given me. I couldn’t deny I had been excited about some of them, had even dreamed about working with some of the names and brands that had popped up on the list.
Jamie was supportive of me taking on more modelling work. Not that his opinion mattered at all. I still wasn’t sure why I’d asked him for it. But taking on more clients would mean more time away in Sydney, more time away from home. Away from my friends. Away from Nick. Away from Jamie.
But above all else, I just wasn’t sure how I could let Dante down. He needed me to help run the firm more so now than ever before. I loved my adopted uncle fiercely and I could never let him or Giulia down.
