Page 56 of Meet You Half Way
I huffed out a smile at that, waiting until I saw his lips tug up in a half-hearted attempt at a smile before I turned back to the cupboard for a pair of mugs. I found my best mug, the pretty, fine bone china cup hand painted with blue fairy wrens that my grandma had once given me. I only had the one nice cup but I handed that one to Mateo and then took my seat beside him again with my boring white mug.
“And just for the record, your heart is not black. It’s beautiful and vibrant and as red as your gorgeous lips,” I told him.
“How would you know. You can’t see it,” he returned, bringing his cup up to that mouth.
“No, but I have gotten to know it a little these past few weeks and I think I’m starting to understand it better,” I told him.
“I’m not exactly sunshine and roses,” he said but I could tell he wanted me to contradict him, wanted me to reassure him.
“Sometimes,” I grinned. “But I also know that deep down you have a kind heart. You’re fun and generous and loyal and you have great capacity to love and be loved.”
He said nothing, expression blank as he took a sip of his tea as he hid behind the cup. The prettiest cup for the prettiest boy.
We sat on the sofa and shared our cups of tea and I watched as the panic left Mateo’s shoulders, leaving behind a heavy sorrow that I didn’t like but which was better than how he had first presented at my door.
I took his empty cup when he had finished and then he curled back up against my chest and told me what had happened with his parents, told me of their conversation and how it was their attack on Nick that had finally pushed him over the edge. I wasn’t sure how to react to that, knowing it was once again thoughts of Nick that had forced Mateo to stand up for him, stand up for them both really and reveal his truth. I wondered if he would have done the same for me. I wasn’t about to ask though and really it was not the time.
“Do you want to stay?” I asked eventually as the night grew old. It had probably not needed to be said but I wanted to make it clear that he was welcome. Mateo nodded and I helped him to his feet. We went through the same ritual we’d gone through the other times he’d stayed, brushing our teeth side by side, me lending him those athletic shorts that were too big for him butleft quite the mouthwatering impression as they hung low on his hips.
And then he climbed into bed beside me, not even looking to me for sex as he lay on his side and I pulled him closer, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. I took that as a win, the fact that he saw me as something other than a release for the night especially given the way he had been when he first arrived at my apartment. There probably wouldn’t be too many gay men on the planet who would rejoice at the prospect of not having sex with Mateo but I just saw it as evidence of something more, that he needed me for comfort and companionship and not just his body.
But it was not just that. It was also the fact he’d come to my door tonight when he needed someone. The fact that he’d maybe started to realise that he was more than his body. The fact that maybe, just maybe he’d chosen me tonight.
CHAPTER 23
mateo
Iwoke up the next morning to a changed world. It was a world in which my parents finally, finally knew about me, a world where I had no more reasons to hide, no more shackles tying me down, no more heavy weights on my soul, no more secrets, no more lies.
No more reasons to expect any love from my parents.
It was also a world in which I had voluntarily allowed a man to hold me all through the night and I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about that. Only that it had been nice, so very, very nice falling asleep in Jamie’s arms and have him hold me together the way he had done since I’d rocked up on his doorstep last night like a lost puppy.
And whilst my mind was still processing a million different things including the very real prospect I had lost my parents forever, it was also revelling in waking up to a sense of freedom and liberty that I had never known in all my life before. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Both probably.
“Good morning,” Jamie murmured, voice still husky as he lay on his stomach, those gentle hands of his smoothing the hair from my forehead. I don’t know why that gesture was hitting me in the feels so badly this morning. Probably I was still raw andemotional but it just felt soaffectionateI didn’t know what to do. I also knew I didn’t want him to stop playing with my hair like that because it sure felt nice.
“Morning,” I replied. Jamie’s eyes traced my face while mine drifted down that spectacular back of his which was on full display for my greedy eyes, all the way down to the sheet covering his equally spectacular ass. I had really not been in the mood for sex last night with all those emotions pouring through me and had been so grateful just to fall asleep in his arms. But this morning, well, this morning was another matter entirely.
“What?” he asked, the laugh ringing in his voice.
“Just admiring the view,” I told him.
“Hard same, Mateo. Always hard same for me,” he replied, making that part of me that craved attention and admiration perk up.
Neither of us moved from where we still lay partially entwined, his fingers still in my hair and me purring like a cat inside.
“Do you have a shift today?” I asked at length.
“No,” he smiled, shifting to lean on his elbow. The sheet moved with him and his eyes suddenly tracked down my chest to those loose shorts that I had a strong feeling were not doing a great job at covering what they were supposed to be covering.
“Bloody hell, those shorts,” Jamie groaned, confirming my suspicion as a smile lifted my mouth. “I’m not sure whether I like you in those better or those sexy purple briefs.”
“I thought purple was your favourite,” I teased.
“Oh it is, but these shorts are really testing my fortitude,” he groaned.
“How about we test that fortitude out some more,” I suggested, sliding closer towards him.
