Page 14 of Fast Break
JT sighs heavily before slumping back in his seat, lines creasing his forehead. “What do people mean when they say they hooked up?”
“Really, JT?” I ask, holding back a laugh.
“Yes, really. What does it mean?”
“Usually it means you had sex of some kind,” I explain, trying to keep the laugh off my face. Not that I find the thought of JT having sex with Chanel very amusing.
“What about just kissing? Is that hooking up?” JT asks, eyes wary.
“Um, I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t think there’s a legal definition.”
He huffs out another breath. I am suddenly intrigued. “Cos that is all that happened with me and Chanel,” he says, unclenching something inside me I hadn’t realised was still clenched. “And it was … well, she wanted more than that but I …”
“Hey, it’s okay, JT,” I jump in. “You don’t owe anyone anything just because they want it.”
“It was worse than that,” he replies, voice small.
“What do you mean?” JT huffs again before rising to his feet, his fists clenched into tight balls. His agitation is clear, and I watch in weird fascination as he slumps back on my bed, trying to ignore the sliver of golden skin as his shirt rises up. His navy and silver tie is loose around his neck and he looks gorgeously dishevelled lying there on my bed.
“Have you ever, like, had anyissueswhen you’re making out with someone?” he asks. His fists are in his eyes, and I can only assume he is trying to avoid eye contact with me.
“What kind of issues?” I ask.
“You know?Issues,” he repeats, gesturing at his lower half in a way that has my grin rising.
“Are you asking me if I get hard when I kiss someone?” I clarify.
“Yes. That.” His fists are still in his eyes and I’m glad he can’t see how amused I am by him. My gaze drifts down his form, lingering as he looks a little bit too nice there on my bed.
“I can’t say that’s ever been a problem for me. But I’ve also never kissed a girl and I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t be all that into it either,” I tell him, trying to be serious about this as I can tell he’s upset.
“Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”
I don’t like the defeat in his tone as that need to protect him rises in me again. I shift cautiously towards him, sinking onto the bed beside him and leaning on my elbow.
“Do you usually have any problems with that?” I ask gently.
JT huffs out a little laugh. “No.”
Okay, that answers that question as my eyes can’t help but drift to the area currently under discussion where everything looks perfectly fine to me.
I change tack. “Did you want to kiss Chanel?”
He contemplates my question for a moment before he replies, “Not really, no.”
“Do you think you would have kissed her if she hadn’t instigated it?”
“No,” he says, no hesitation this time.
“Maybe it’s just your body’s way of telling you you’re not into her,” I suggest, hoping this is the case but not wanting to project on him either.
“I mean, I should be into her. She’s pretty and she’s nice, isn’t she? But I just don’t feel any attraction to her.”
“Well then, there you go. You can’t force attraction, JT.” He drops his hands, his eyes a little glazed as he looks across at me. I am suddenly aware of the way we are laying on my bed side by side—right where I have pictured him a few too many times these past few nights.
“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asks, voice dipped soft and low. Well, that answers the question of whether he knows I’m gay.
“Not right now.”
