Page 69 of Letting Go
“I’m not going anywhere, Sugar.”
I smile in the dark because it’s not only sweet—I know it’s true. I know everything about Walker is true.
Chapter thirty-eight
Walker
Our official first date may not be for a few more days, but when I called her yesterday after The Susurro was arrested, I just had to see her as soon as possible. Sitting on the floor in a dark room as a sound machine drowns out the noise from downstairs may not have been the way I imagined ringing in the New Year, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else right now. Her family has been welcoming, and they feel a lot like home to me, especially the trash talking between the brothers. Vivan mentioned before that Trent was never interested in having a close relationship with her siblings. The more I learn about the guy, the more I’m convinced he was a fucking moron.
I lower my lips to Vivian’s ear, in part to be quiet as Eloise falls asleep, and in part just to be closer to her. “Did you make any resolutions for the New Year?”
“No, but I chose a word for the year, something I want more of in my life and for Eloise.”
“What’s the word?”
“It’s simple but I want more joy in our lives. This last year was … unfathomable and I think we’re due some joy. Although, there have definitely been some unexpected moments of happiness, especially in the last three or four months.” She leans in to bump me a little with her shoulder as emphasis and I make a vow right then and there that I will do everything in my power to make this new year overwhelmingly joyful for the two of them. It’s a selfish promise really because I know I will get to see Vivian’s beautiful smile in the process, so it’s a win-win. I glance at my watch and see we have two minutes left in the year.
“What about you? Are you a resolutions guy?”
“Not necessarily, but I have some big plans for the year.”
“Oh yeah? What are they?”
“You’ll have to wait and see, Viv. But it’s going to be good, I promise.” I lean closer as we faintly hear the countdown to midnight from downstairs. Just before they reach one, I lean in and cradle her jaw with my hand as I lift her face so I can press my lips to hers in a searing kiss. She’s so responsive and a small whimper escapes her as I pull back just slightly, pressing our foreheads together. “Happy New Year, baby,” I whisper into the dark.
“Happy New Year, Special Agent Man.”
It will be. There will be so much happy for my two girls if I have anything to say about it.
Chapter thirty-nine
Vivian
Checking my makeup once more in the mirror, I flip the visor up and take a deep breath. It’s been a long time since I went on a first date, and I’ve never been on a date with someone that makes me feel like Walker does. His front door opens as I get out of my car and Ghost runs out to greet me while Walker leans against the doorframe. His craftsman style bungalow has a small front yard, and the exterior is a soft cream color with black trim and accents. The flowers and shrubs along the front walk way look like they’ve been growing there for years.
“Hey, Sugar, welcome to my home. I’m so glad you’re here.” He slowly drinks me in as I walk up the front steps, scanning me with his eyes from head to toe and a subtle smile spreads into his devilishly handsome grin. We’ve been talking and texting daily, but seeing him in person always amplifies everything. “Wow, you look gorgeous.”
“Hey yourself, I’m happy to be here.” I walk up his front steps and I’m in awe of his beautiful covered porch. “Whoa, this porch is incredible!” I can imagine myself sitting in one of the rocking chairs, getting lost in a book, and enjoying a delightful afternoon with a glass of sweet tea. That is a little presumptuous of me and I shake the thought away as Walker cocks his head slightly with a smirk. He moves closer to me, and I’m glad he can’t actually read my thoughts. Slipping his arms around my waist, he gently tugs me into a hug. I inhale this man’s delicious scent and wonder howit’s possible for him to smell so damn good. He always smells like a masculine mix of tobacco, vanilla, and some essence that is just … him. I hope he doesn’t notice I’m literally smelling him. Maybe I can figure out what cologne he wears and order a little bottle to stash at my place for whenever I need a hit because I’m already addicted. I lean up and give him a quick kiss hello on the cheek.
“It’s great, but I have to admit, I’m rarely out here. My favorite part is the backyard. There’s an awesome outdoor entertaining area, even if it’s usually just Ghost and me hanging out back there.” He’s described his backyard to me before, and I know when we talk in the evenings, he is usually sitting out there. “Come on in, I’ll show you around.” He leans in to welcome me with a gentle kiss on my forehead, softly rubbing my shoulder with his thumb. He turns and keeps me tucked under his arm. “I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for tonight, but you mentioned you liked a good steak. I got a couple of sirloins resting that I’ll throw on the grill, paired with a little side salad, and grilled veggies if that sounds good to you?” He looks down at me for my approval.
“Sounds perfect,” he responds with one of his dazzling smiles, and before I can melt into a pile of mush right there in his foyer, we continue down a small hallway. The oak floors and woodwork are clearly all original to the house, but the rest of it has been completely updated. With earth tones and cozy textures in the rooms we pass, the aesthetic all comes together to create a relaxing vibe. I wonder if it’s intentional so he can come home to a calming environment with such a stressful job; it makes sense he would want a peaceful space to unwind. I follow him into the kitchen which opens to a combined dining area and living room.
I can imagine daylight pouring into this room through the large windowpanes, but the beautiful twilight gives it an intimate vibe—perfect for our date night. “Oh! I forgot to mention it last night, but our conversation went in a thousand other directions,”I say as he looks over his shoulder at me. “Thank you so much for my new Kindle! It’s nicer than my older one and I love that I can take this one in the bath with me and not worry about dropping it in the water. That was so thoughtful of you.”
“Of course. If Eloise sends this one for a bath, your case may not survive the swim, but at least your Kindle will be safe.”
“I meant to order one, and to be honest, you ordered one even nicer than I would have bought myself. Thank you. That was such a sweet gift. You’re spoiling us already.” He hums in acknowledgement with a smile while he moves around the kitchen. Walker has some music playing in the background throughout the house. “I love this song. Have you ever seen him in concert?”
“No, but I have to confess … while this is a great song, I hate banana pancakes.” He looks down at me and I laugh at his confession. “I hope that’s okay with you. I strongly prefer blueberry pancakes, but waffles are better than pancakes.”
“Aren’t they the same batter?” I laugh at our debate.
“What can I say? I like what I like.” His voice drops as he leans closer before saying, “And when I find something I like to eat, I could eat it every single morning.” I feel the blush crawl over my face and chest at the way his voice rumbled that statement, and his tone insinuates we are no longer talking about breakfast foods. He doesn’t call me out for blushing and just continues talking like he didn’t turn the heat level up from simmer to scorching. “Let me grab a few things here and we can head out back while I throw the food on the grill. Can I get you something to drink? Wine, whiskey, beer, water, or tea?”
The responsible adult in me tells me that I should stick to non-alcoholic beverages, but I want to lean into whatever this is between us, and I might need some liquid courage. “A glass of white wine would be great if you have it.” He nods and opens a small fridge built into the kitchen island. While he pours my glass,I take in his beautiful kitchen. The classic white subway tile and granite countertops are a bright contrast to his dark navy cabinets. I thank him as he hands me the glass and nods his head toward the patio door.
“I’ll follow you, if you wouldn’t mind getting the patio door,” he says as he picks up a tray filled with the prepped food and a tumbler with a few fingers of whiskey for himself.
