Page 71 of Letting Go
I giggle at the thought of Ghost trying to follow us. We don’t need an audience for this part of the evening. “What a good boy.”
“You better be referring to my dog, because I promise I’m no boy. Seems I wasn’t a great host before, so it’s time to finish my tour from earlier. I still need to show you the rest of my house, especially my bedroom.”
“That’s a great line. Does it work every time?” I laugh.
He abruptly stops walking toward his bedroom and slightly lowers his head so he can look directly into my eyes. “You're the only woman I've said that to and the only woman who's been in this house, other than my assistant, cleaning lady, and dog nanny." His eyes are filled with a fire that I feel he’s been holding back until tonight.
“Is that because you’ve been busy or …” I trail off the rest of my sentence, hoping he will fill my silence.
“I have been busy, but I don’t bring just anyone to my home. Being in my home, in my sanctuary, it means something to me,” Walker tells me as he carries me into his bedroom. “And for the last nine months, only one woman has commanded my attention.”
Walker swiftly flicks a switch on as we enter his room and the fireplace comes to life, basking the room in a soft glow. His bedroom is very masculine but comfortable. The vaulted ceilings open the room up and massive floor to ceiling windows span one side of the room. On the opposite wall sits a large king-sized bed with crisp white and soft gray linens. There’s an antique-looking dresser and a few doors that are closed, but I’m assuming one is a closet and the other is likely his en suite bathroom. The room is extremely tidy and everything is put away, which makes me think he might judge my slightly messy bedroom. I never let things get dirty, but things get a little chaotic at times. “I don’t even see a rogue sock. You’re quite organized, sir.” I observe.
“Unless you want this next part to be over way before I intend it to be, please do not call me sir right now. I cannot be responsible for how much that turns me on, Vivian,” he growls at me and playfully nips where my neck and shoulder meet.
“Why do you think I call you sir during our nightly phone calls? But I didn’t realize you were part animal.” I giggle at his playfulness. He just bit me and that was a first for me, not that it hurt, but I actually kind of liked it, which surprises me.
“More like part beast. You have no idea how feral you make me, Viv.” He sets me down on the bed and leans down with a hand on each side of my body, softly kissing my forehead before leaning back. “I plan to thoroughly investigate exactly how deep this connection between us goes.” He slowly starts kissing my neck.
“You feel it too?” We haven’t really talked about our feelings, but we’ve danced around them a lot.
“The magnetic pull to you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt in my entire life. At first, I thought I was just extremely attracted to you—and I am one hundred percent—but it’s more than that. It feels like … it feels like a lot more than that.”
“What does it feel like to you?” I don’t know why I’m pushing, but I need to hear him articulate his feelings so I know I’m not alone in this.
“It feels like the kind of thing that would drive men to start wars over if it meant being together. It feels like something I’ve been missing my entire life but had no idea that it could feel like this.” He cradles my face with his hand and I instinctively lean into his touch, which makes him hum in approval. “It feels like this is a defining point in my life—like there are two parts of my life: before we met and after you were in my life. And the after? After meeting you, baby, everything else has changed. You not only changed the game, this thing between us … it’s endgame.”
My mouth opens and closes like a fish as his declaration floors me, not because of what he said, but because he was willing to say that so early in whatever we have together. He also found a way to verbalize feelings that I felt but couldn’t describe. I try to take a deep breath as a lone tear escapes from my eye. He gently catches it with his thumb before licking it off. “I don’t want to ever see you cry, Viv, but I hope that was a happy tear.”
“It was one of the happiest tears in my life, Walker. I was afraid this was all in my head and I was the only one feeling the significance of whatever this is between us. To hear you say all of that, and to know that I’m not alone in all of it is a lot. And … I also don’t want to have someone I trust break my heart again.”
“I get that, but let’s not allow the fools in our pasts have any influence in the potential happiness of our future.” He kneels next to the bed so I can see his eyes better. “Because this? You and me? I think we have the chance at something real, something others only dream of, and something that could make both of us so, so very happy. I know I could make you so happy. If you let me love you, I will never take that for granted.”
Hiswords cause me to lean forward, reaching for him as I desperately pull him closer. I need him more than I need the oxygen in my next breath. Walker’s lips slam into mine as his hands dive into my hair and he angles my head exactly how he wants it, deepening our kiss. I lean up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, and pull him down onto the bed with me, tugging his shirt up so I can put my hands on his bare skin. He moans in agreement and we slide up the bed. My long loose curls fan around the pillow as he keeps his hand along my jaw and his thumb softly against my neck. I drop my knees as he lays his body weight on me like a delicious blanket of hard muscle and masculine beauty. I lift my legs instinctively and wrap them around his body to pull him closer to me. Walker breaks our kiss and looks into my eyes.
“I won’t always be so willing to give you control in the bedroom, but for tonight, I need you to tell me with your words what you want to happen.”
“I want this. I want you. I want us. I already somehow feel you in my soul, and I want to feel you everywhere, in every possible way.” I pause to push up and kiss him, trying to communicate everything I can’t say yet with words. I lean back and look at him, knowing that I’m laying my heart bare for this man, but also somehow just knowing that my heart is safe with him. “Please make love to me, Walker. Please, I need you.”
“Now, those words are the prettiest words to hear, and who am I to deny such a sweet request, Sugar?” His grin spreads across his entire face as he tugs his shirt over his head.
“Oh, hot damn.” The view is breathtaking; Walker is beyond fit, but he is also all man. His well-defined muscles showcase a few tattoos that I didn’t know he had but can’t wait to explore with my tongue. Unlike some guys, Walker has chest hair and it continues down in a spattering line that goes below the waist of his pants,which is highlighted by that delicious V that flows over his hips and down into his jeans; the perfect Adonis belt.
“See something you like?” His voice is gravelly as he raises an eyebrow.
“I actually see something I want to lick right now.” I push myself up toward him to do just that, tracing his six-pack and one of his nipples with my tongue. Nudging him to lay down with my shoulder, I move to the other nipple and notice his tattoo of three dog tags on his chest. I glance up at Walker and see the emotion in his eyes. I gently kiss each of the tags.
“You have far too many clothes on for our next activity. Let me help you with that, sir,” I tease as he groans at my use of ‘sir.’ I slide my hands down his chest and stomach until I reach his belt buckle. I raise an eyebrow and pause for a moment.
“You might actually kill me, baby,” he groans as he sits up and flips me on my back.
“Hey! It's rude to interrupt a lady" I chastise him. "I was about to do some exploring!"
“Later, Lewis and Clark. I don’t care if you set out on a four-day expedition of my body later, but right now, I can’t wait. It’s your own damn fault. I warned you not to call me sir.” He tugs at my jeans and I yank my shirt off over my head as my jeans get caught on the comforter. Walker moves back to pull my jeans off the rest of the way before removing his own. I lay on his bed in my bra and underwear as he consumes me with his eyes.
“Absolutely beautiful, Viv.” There’s such reverence in his voice and I feel incredibly precious as I lay nearly naked in front of him for the first time. This is not just a hook up, this is a milestone for us. Walker covers me again with his body and kisses me as he slides his hands behind me to unhook and remove my bra. I push my underwear down and go to grab the waist of his boxer briefs, when he stills my hand.
“I need to grab a condom from the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
