Page 72 of Letting Go
“Or … you could … not.” I slide my fingers through his hair and pull him closer to kiss him.
He returns the kiss before pulling back. With an inferno in his eyes, his jaw clenches as he replies, “Viv, I need your words again here. What are you telling me?”
“I’m telling you that I’m clean and haven’t been with anyone since … everything happened. But I got tested after the affair came out. I’m clean, and I’m on birth control.”
His grip on my hip tightens. “I get tested for all kinds of things regularly with my job, I’m clean, and it’s been over a year for me, but I’ve never been with someone bare before. We can use a condom, and it will still be wonderful if you would be more comfortable.” He is gritting his teeth so hard I’m concerned he might crack a molar.
“I know and I appreciate that, but Walker, I want this. And if it’s okay, I just want to be with you.” I start to slide his boxer briefs down before he sits up to remove them, and then covers me with his body.
“I don’t want anything between us, ever. Thank you for trusting me with this.” He gently kisses me before pulling back to search my eyes for something, and I nod, confirming that I really am good with this. “Viv, you're the perfect woman for me, beyond anything I could have imagined. You are a fucking dream, baby.”
He gently kisses my lips as he slowly starts to enter me and my breath stutters for a moment. While Walker is rugged and large all over, he’s also the thickest and largest man I’ve ever been with, and there’s a slight burn as he slides in. He hesitates for a moment, his eyes searching mine.
“I’m okay, I promise.” I lean up to kiss him again.
“Fuck, baby, you feel so fucking perfect. I knew this would be incredible, but I had no idea you would feel so fuckinggood. You’re so damn tight. I need you to relax a little. Just let me in and I promise I will make this good for you.” He covers my jaw and neck with kisses as I slowly exhale. While he traces the length of my neck with his tongue, he finally bottoms out. We simultaneously groan at the intense sensation.
“Walker?” I breathlessly whisper.
“Yeah, baby?” His deep voice rumbles against my chest.
“I need you to move, now, if at all possible, please.” I feel so overwhelmingly full, it’s almost too much. But it’s also glorious at the same time.
“Okay baby, I’ve got you.” Nuzzling into my neck, he places one hand next to my head and reaches down to pull one of my legs up. Holding my knee up with his hand, he starts to move, and I swear he is so deep he’s touching a part of me that has never even been touched before. I feel him deeper than I knew was even possible until he is all the way to the hilt.
My entire body is overwhelmed with pleasure, and I feel a slight sting of pain at the intrusion of his large size, but in the best way. “Don’t stop, Walker, don’t stop!” I try to control my breath as my climax is already building.
“I never want to stop. Fuck, I had no idea how good and how fucking right this would feel. That’s right, Vivian, take me baby, take it all.” His thrusting is just hard enough to continue the onslaught of my senses as he starts to increase his speed. “You’re mine, baby. You. Are. Fucking. Mine.”
It may just be the heat of the moment, but I want to be his, and I want him to be mine. Not just for tonight, but forever. I’m not ready to say these things out loud yet, so I simply nod before kissing him again. He lets go of my leg and reaches over to press down on my clit with his thumb in a circular motion. Before I know it, I detonate, stars are exploding, and I am flying into a white abyss as I come harder than I ever thought was physically possible.
Chapter forty
Walker
Vivian tips over the edge and starts to come, vibrating with pleasure. “Good girl, Viv, come all over my cock.” I’m about to follow right behind her with my own release. Being with her is an entirely new level of sex and I’m already addicted to it—and her. My dick wants to live permanently inside Vivian. Forward my mail, cancel my plans, I’m moving in and never leaving this damn paradise. I’ve been with other women, but nothing has ever felt like this before and she annihilates any standard set prior to her. Being with her has caused a change down to my molecular level and it’s impossible to go back to before I knew what she felt like—before I knew what we felt like together.
Sooner than I wish, I feel the tingle in my spine spreading and with three deep thrusts, I ride out my own release, roaring, “Oh, fuck yes!” I collapse on her, but hold my full body weight off her with my hands. I kiss her once more before slowly pulling out and laying down next to her.
“That was incredible, baby,” I tell her, trying to catch my breath as I pull her into my side and kiss the top of her head. Once my breathing slows and I can feel the blood return to my legs, I go to the bathroom to grab a warm washcloth. Kneeling between her legs, I softly kiss her inner thigh as I gently clean her up. I toss the washcloth in the bathroom before climbing back in to bed and pulling her up so she’s laying acrossmy chest.
“I … I think I about passed out there.” Vivian hums and kisses my chest. At some point, I’ll have to explain the story behind the men whose dog tags I have tattooed on my chest, but now is not the time. It meant so much when she didn’t push me for an explanation, but she recognized my own grief and honored it when she placed a tender kiss on each dog tag.
Vivian is unlike any woman I’ve ever been with. Our regular phone conversations have shown that she not only listens when I talk, but she sees me in a way that I don’t think anyone else ever has before. There is no judgement in her eyes, no expectations, she authentically accepts me for who I am. Vivian isn’t impressed by professional accolades or titles, who I know, or what’s in my bank account. She just wants me, and that’s refreshing in a profound way that I’ve never experienced before her. It’s reciprocated tenfold on my end. She’s not only gorgeous, but our regular texting and calls have confirmed she has such a kind and beautiful heart.
She is … well, she’s everything.
And … oh shit.
I love this woman.
I’m not sure when it happened but as if a puzzle piece clicked in place, that epiphany rings true.
I love how she is fiercely loyal to her family. I love how she puts her daughter before anyone else. I love how she remembers how I like my coffee. I love how she laughs and how embarrassed she looks when her laugh is louder than she expected. I love how she blushes so easily when I’m around. I love how she genuinely cares for the people in her life. I love kissing her and I absolutely love making love to her.
It feels too early to tell her those three words so I just pull her a little tighter and hold her until her breath slows and evens out. I carefully lean back just enough to look down at her as she sleeps.
Vivian looks so peaceful as she sleeps, and I’m not convinced she isn’t actually an angel on earth. I’ve never met someone like her before and I doubt I ever will again. I have no interest in meeting or dating other women. She’s it for me. I know this in my soul as much as I know who I am and what I want in life. I wasn’t looking for or expecting this woman to come into my life, especially through my job, but now I can’t imagine my life without her in it. I want more. I want more moments together, I want more of her time and attention, I want her love, and I want a lot more sex with this vibrant siren in my arms.
