Page 28 of Letting Go
What? He’s single, and obviously good looking because he looks like me. These are fair questions. I am a happily married man and women don’t catch my eye since I landed the best woman ever.
Me
Are you afraid she’s tapping your texts or what?
Charlie
Definitely afraid his wife is going to see him asking about other women. But he has a valid point and inquiring minds want to know...
Me
Nashville is good. Move was the right call, needed a change. House is great, Ghost loves having the backyard, work is busy but good. Haven’t been out or dated since I moved so there’s nothing to report.
Sam
That is the lamest answer ever. You disappoint me.
Charlie
As long as your next woman is the opposite of Gretchen the Grinch, I’ll be happyfor you.
Sam
Hear, hear! Glad she didn’t get our last name, Walker. I know you had that ring.
Me
She never even knew I had it. I’ll let you guys know about the fourth as soon as I can, but don’t get your hopes up. I’m hoping this case breaks soon and if it does, I’ll be chasing it.
Sam
Hopefully it either gets solved tomorrow or turns into a long case that allows you enough free time to get your ass home. Take care and watch your six, brother.
Charlie
I agree. I’m off to check the back pasture. Walker, be safe out there brother, yeah?
Me
You got it.
Chapter thirteen
Vivian
“Higher, Mama, higher!” Eloise joyfully squeals as I push her a little higher on the swing. It’s hard to believe she will be starting school back up again so soon, but it’s also another step toward normalcy for both of us. Eloise shakes her head back and forth in delight, causing her gorgeous blonde curls to shake everywhere. Her giggles are my favorite sound in the entire world—if I could bottle them up, they would solve every and any problem.
If only life worked like that, if only life were that simple.
It’s great seeing her so happy, especially after how terrible last night was once again. Eloise still ends up sleeping in my bed most nights, and it breaks my heart when she wakes up screaming for her daddy. The nightmares have not gone away, and I don’t know what else to do to help my baby. It’s no longer a nightly occurrence, but she still has them more often than not and sometimes more than one in a night.
Her nightmares vary a little in what happens in them, but the common theme evolved from car accidents a few months ago to now her daddy completely disappears from a room when she tries to hug him. Following the advice from my therapist back in Chicago, I didn’t go into detail about how her father died when I told her. Eloise knows there was an accident with a gun and her daddy is in heaven now. I didn’t want to explain or include the gun part to her at all, but the concern was that if she overheard other people talking about the shooting, she may question even more and weneeded to make her feel as secure as possible, while limiting details as much as possible. What four-year-old is going to understand her father being shot and killed? I’m thirty-two years old, and I have more questions than answers about the situation myself.
The need to solve a problem is in my nature. I depend on logic to make sense of things, even if I’m relying on my gut, I need to find answers to problems that make sense. It’s not the first time I’ve struggled with accepting a situation that doesn’t have an answer, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
“Viv, this isn’t healthy. You need to get out of bed and get out of this condo.” Trent leans against the doorway to our walk-in closet. “It’s been over a week; it’s time to try to take some steps to get back to normal.” My jaw drops in shock, but I have no words. I can’t believe what’s coming out of his mouth; is he serious right now? It’s been nine days since I was rushed into surgery due to hemorrhaging.
“It’s sad. No one is denying it’s sad, honey. But for whatever reason, it wasn’t meant to be. And you know your OB said you needed to get up and moving as you feel stronger to help recover faster from the surgery. You won’t get stronger staying in bed, babe,” my husband tells me.
