Page 31 of Letting Go
“I know some marriages can make it through something like that but I don’t know that our marriage would have, especially if I had known the length of the affair.” I pause as a small gust of wind passes through the park. “To me, there’s a big difference between someone being drunk and kissing someone or even sleeping with them once. That’s still cheating and a mistake but that’s a one-time thing, you know? To have an ongoing affair, let alone one that spanned years means he chose her over our marriage, over me, over Eloise, time and time again. I don’t think I could forgive that.”
“I really wish I could chew him out. Or maybe like, throw a shoe at his dumb head, and maybe knock some sense into him.”
“Me too, MK. Me too,” I sigh in response. “But I don’t get to do that, do I? That opportunity was stolen from me, and I’m left a widowed single mother, who happens to be really pissed off ather dead husband. I’m supposed to be a grieving widow, missing the love of my life, and while I miss him for who he was to Eloise, I don’t miss him like I probably should.”
“Says who?” MK asks.
“I don’t know, but I feel bad,” I admit. “Like I should miss him more or be sadder about the fact that Trent as the man, my friend, my lover, and my husband is gone, not just sad because he was Eloise’s dad.”
“Well, maybe you would have felt differently if he had been upholding all of those roles before his death,” MK says with an eyebrow raised. “Honestly, it sounds like he was taking the easy way out of the marriage. Instead of fighting for it with you, he went to what and who was easy. I’m not an expert but I don’t think there are rules for how you are or are not supposed to grieve. And if Trent wanted out of the marriage, then he should’ve been man enough to let you know how he felt instead of lying to you,” MK tells me.
“Yeah, that’s a big part of it too. There were so many lies, and I hate that there may still be even more that I don’t know about. I’m so sick of being blindsided … and being made the fool,” I confess.
“No, ma’am! Nu-uh. You are not a fool!” MK admonishes me.
“Yes, I am. Trent and Bianca Fucking Bishop ensured that I was made to be quite the fool. I can only imagine what our former friends in Chicago have all said about me or our marriage since everything happened.”
“Well, I think it’s clear they weren’t true friends.” MK slides an arm around me and pulls me into a side hug. “And we’ve got you, both of you. If anyone makes you feel like a fool, you just let us know and we will put them in their place real quick.”
“Oh, don’t I know it!” I smile because I know my childhood best friends have my back. MK may have lightly teased me about it earlier, but she doesn’t need to worry about us moving back to Chicago. Why would I ever choose to be alone when I could besurrounded by friends like her? If we should stay in Forrest Falls is an easier decision than if I want to start my day with coffee—the answer is going to be a yes.
“Drew said that Joe asked him about you the other day.” MK casually changes the subject. “Is that something you would ever be interested in?”
“Joe, as in like, Joe Wilson?” I scrunch my nose up in confusion as to what she’s really asking me here.
“Yes, ma’am. He’s cute and he’s a good guy, but it’s okay if he isn’t your type.” I didn’t know Joe very well in high school, but in a small town, everyone knows each other.
“I guess I’ve never thought of Joe that way. He’s a nice guy, don’t get me wrong, but there isn’t a spark there. Also, and don’t take offense to this, but I prefer my men tall, dark, and handsome. Blonde guys … meh.” I shrug. “They just don’t do much for me.” Even though Trent had blonde hair.
“Hey now! Drew is blonde!” MK defends her husband with mock outrage as I laugh.
“I know! That’s why I said no offense!” I laugh and our conversation moves on to lighter topics like school starting soon, and MK venting about the insane schedule of her son’s traveling baseball team. It makes my heart so happy to be sitting at the park next to one of my lifelong friends, watching our kids play together.
“Yoo-hoo! Good morning, ladies!” I turn as the unofficial queen bee of Forrest Falls walks over to us with a wave and a big smile. Marcie Claire is decked out in a hot pink matching jogging set, large diamond stud earrings, a sparkling tennis bracelet, and I think I even spot gemstones on her sneakers.
“Good morning, Mrs. Riley. How are you today?” I reply as we both wave hello.
“Oh, I’m just enjoying this beautiful day in our lovely little town! Isn’t this weather amazing? I hope the humidity gives us alittle break today,” she replies as she dabs at sweat on her forehead. “What are you two ladies up to this morning? Spilling all the hot tea?”
“Yes, ma’am. Our mamas taught us right.” MK raises her coffee in a toast as we all laugh in response.
“Of course they did, honey,” Marcie Claire says. “I’m glad I ran into you, Vivian. I’m hoping you’re considering joining the Forrest Falls Women’s Society like we talked about. We need vibrant young women like you two joining our ranks. And if not the Society, then maybe the Garden Club would be a good fit.”
“I haven’t decided if it’s quite the right time for me to take on another commitment, at least not until we’re a little more settled. But I promise to give it serious thought, ma’am.”
“I’m glad to hear that, dear. And even if you don’t join, I was wondering if we could meet for tea sometime? We’re running into a few snags with the wording of our society’s chapter guidelines, and I have some questions about our nonprofit status filing that maybe you could help me with. I would be willing to pay you, of course,” Marcie Claire says with a smile.
“I would be happy to take a look at that, but couldn’t Clark or Chase clear up any legal issues for you?” I ask.
“Oh honey, Chase hasn’t thought about anything nonprofit since he was in law school!” Marcie Claire jokes. I smile in response but I’m not sure why she assumes I would know more than her own son. I am well-versed in contractual business law, but nonprofit issues are an entirely different topic. “And Clark will just pass me off to some paralegal. But there’s no rush, maybe we can get together after little Ellie starts school. Colleen said she was able to get into Forrest Hills Academy, which is so wonderful!”
Once again, Marcie Claire fails to use my daughter’s name correctly, but before I can say anything to correct her, Marcie Claireannounces, “I better finish my walk, the day is short and my to-do list is long. Have a nice day, ladies!”
“Have a good day, ma’am,” MK and I say in unison as we watch her walk away. Marcie Claire doesn’t even make it a block before she stops to talk to someone else. I don’t know if she’s walking to get exercise for her body or for her mouth as she gossips.
“Nothing gets by that woman in this town,” MK says under her breath. “Except our parties in high school at their lake house, that is.” We both break out in laughter.
“Excuse me, Miss Vivian?” I turn and see one of the baristas from Java Jive walking toward us carrying two drink carriers.
