Page 48 of Letting Go
I wave away her apology. “Hey, don’t even mention it. My dad always said that part of being a gentleman is knowing it’s always worth waiting for a lady,” I tell her as I walk up with Ghost on his leash. Vivian leans into the car and steps back holding her daughter’s hand as Eloise hops out. This is the first time I’m meeting Eloise and she is an adorable miniature version of her mama. Eloise has the same bright green eyes and blonde hair, which is currently in two fancy braids that I’m sure have a name, but I wouldn’t have the slightest idea. I drop down to one knee and tell Ghost to sit as they approach.
“Hey there Miss Eloise, my name is Walker and this big guy is my best friend, Ghost,” I tell her as I try to make myself as least frightening as possible. I can use my height to intimidate the scariest criminals but when talking to a little girl, I don’t want to frighten her. She looks up at her mama who nods, before Eloise extends her hand to me.
“Hello, Mr. Walker, my name is Eloise Stone. It is nice to meet you, sir,” she says in the voice of a little angel, forcing my heart to expand by two bubblegum pink sneaker-clad feet.
“Thank you for using such sweet manners, baby girl,” Vivian tells her daughter proudly. “And hello Ghost, it’s nice to meet you. I hear you are the friendliest of all the ghosts.”
“Oooo, like Casper, Mama!” Eloise’s face lights up. “But he’s softer than a cartoon ghost, I don’t think you could pet a ghost ‘cause wouldn’t your hand just go, poof, right through him?” She scrunches up her face in wonder.
“Hm. That’s a great question and I can’t say I’ve ever thought about petting a ghost, but this Ghost loves when he gets attention. Do you want to pet him?” I ask Eloise and she nods. Eloise offers her hand for Ghost to sniff, like Vivian instructed, before Eloise pets him.
“Oh my gosh, Mama he is so soft! Can we get one?” She looks up with such hopeful eyes that I kind of want to give her a puppy myself. Why do I already want to give this little girl anything and everything? Previously, only my nieces had the ability to wield that kind of control over me.
“That took less than a minute I think,” Vivian says through a laugh. “We will see but for now, how about we go check out this sweet pirate ship, aye matey?”
“Mama, when you say we will see that’s always a no. And also, you’re too pretty to be a pirate. But maybe you can be a mermaid,” Eloise says with a very serious expression on her face. “Walker is a boy so he can be a pirate though.”
“Did your daughter just insinuate I wasn’t pretty?” I press a hand to my chest in mock outrage with a raised eyebrow.
Vivian shrugs and looks at me. “She’s a smart kid, who am I to argue with her logic?” Her eyes twinkle as she jokes. “Come onbaby, let’s get those wiggles out.” Eloise runs ahead as we follow closely behind.
“Is this safe? I don’t know where to look when there are people around like this, but I don’t want her to know I’m nervous to be out and about,” Vivian quietly admits.
“I didn’t see anyone suspicious, but I’ll keep my eyes out. I am a professional and know how to watch and survey without anyone else realizing that’s what I’m doing.”
And I’m not the only one with eyes on the park right now.
When Vivian mentioned her concerns about the park, I thought they were valid even though I didn’t express my concerns to her. She has enough to worry about and I know if I said I agreed with her concerns, they would already be on their way back to Forrest Falls if they even came in the first place. I mentioned the situation to a few members of my team and they wanted to help out. My concern was if something did happen and I needed to protect Vivian or Eloise, it could potentially leave the other one exposed and that wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. My team was quick to offer their assistance. None of us had met Eloise yet, but we were already wrapped around her finger.
Mason and Kelly look like two buddies tossing a football back and forth after a workout on the greenspace next to the playground. As we make our way around the playground, we will eventually be able to see Harlow and Tara having coffee on a park bench on the far side of the park. Vivian will probably recognize Harlow if we get to that side of the playground, but it could have potentially added to Vivian’s nerves to know I thought five FBI agents were necessary at a park for her daughter to play, so I decided to only point them out if necessary.
“And while I doubt it will come to it, I am armed, although discreetly,” I tell her, turning to indicate a gun on my backside. We sit on a bench as Eloise runs up the play pirate ship with a little girlaround the same age. “She is a sweet girl, Vivian, and is beautiful just like her mama,” I tell her.
“Thank you. There is no question she’s mine, that’s for sure. I looked just like my mama when I was her age too, so I think the genes are strong on that side of my family. Eloise is the best thing in my entire life, and while I knew she changed me when she was born, this last year she has brought new meaning and depth to that. Some days I think she may be the only thing that saved me this last year.” Vivian watches her daughter play. “And this handsome guy is so sweet as well.” She leans over to pet Ghost, who now apparently thinks he found his new best friend as his tail wags joyfully. “What a beautiful pup you are, Ghost,” she tells him and he leans into her a little more. “Yes, you are such a handsome good boy, but you know that, don’t you?”
“Well, now if Eloise tries to dog nap him, I don’t think he will fight it at all,” I tell her.
She grins, lighting up her whole face. “I promise we won’t steal your dog, Walker,” she says as she nudges me with her elbow. Vivian may not steal my dog but her beautiful grin just stole my breath. Her bestowing my dog genuine affection only adds to my attraction. My ex hated animals and couldn’t understand why I would ever want a dog.
I clear my throat before asking, “How did today’s appointments go?”
Vivian sighs and sits back with one hand still softly petting Ghost. “They were good in the sense that we’re making progress I guess, but it’s all so heavy, it’s not like they are fun. Eloise is still having nightmares. I had hoped that getting into consistent in-person therapy instead of virtual appointments would help them diminish or go away all together, but that hasn’t happened yet.”
“What does her therapist say about that?”
“That everything with grief at any age is a process and we take everything one step at a time, at whatever pace her emotional and psychological needs require for wherever she is today. Basically, we keep doing what we’ve been doing, and hope that time helps ease all of it.” Vivian shrugs with a defeated sigh.
“That sounds like good advice, but it has to be frustrating to not have just a solution that will fix it right away.” I watch Eloise go down a twisty slide and run back to do it again, the simple joy bringing a small smile to my face.
“Beyond frustrating. Motherhood is hard enough on a typical day, but adding in everything from our last year or so? It’s a lot, Walker. It’s just … a lot.” Her voice started to slightly quiver, pausing to take a deep breath.
“For what it’s worth, I think you are doing a great job. I can tell she’s a good kid, and that only happens when a kid has good people putting in the work to make sure their child is kind and respectful, while providing an environment where they can feel safe and secure.” I’m being completely sincere. From what she’s told me, I think Vivian was a single mother long before her husband’s murder, and while I admire her strength, I also want to do what I can to make anything and everything easier for her. They aren’t mine, but … something says they could be one day.
“I’m trying. I haven’t told her anything about the poems and I don’t intend to because she already can’t sleep at night,” Vivian admits.
“No, I wouldn’t have expected you to tell her anything, that feels like way too much for a little girl like her to worry about,” I tell her as I subtly scan the park again for any apparent threats. I briefly catch Kelly’s eyes but we don’t acknowledge each other. I know they aren’t seeing any concerning threats currently because if any of my team members saw anything suspicious, they would have sent me a text or moved in closer to where we are sitting.
“Maybe Eloise would sleep better at night if she had a guard dog like Ghost keeping watch over her, maybe you both would,” I smile thinking of Eloise getting the puppy she so clearly wants.
