Page 8 of Letting Go
Gretchen takes a seat and nods to the box sitting on my desk. “It’s hard to accept that you’re actually going, Walker. You totally deserve the promotion, but you’ll be missed around here.”
Humming in agreement, I know better than to trust anything that comes out of her mouth. She is right, though. I do deserve this promotion, and I am damn good at my job. I know the value of being silent, so I lean back in my chair and give her enough silence to reveal whatever true motive she has for stopping by my office. Nothing is ever by chance when it comes to Gretchen Avery. She wouldn’t allow it. I run a hand through my thick dark hair, making a mental note to find a new barber in Nashville. I don’t keep it as short as was required while enlisted, but I prefer to keep it shorter to tame my natural waves.
“I was hoping to catch you before you left. I wanted you to hear this news from me and not through the grapevine or from one of our friends.” She pulls on the sleeve of her shirt as her eyes dance around the room.
We do share quite a few mutual friends, but that happens when you go to college together, are friends for years, and then date for over two years. I know what Gretchen is here to announce but I’m not going to help make this any easier for her. I am a former Army Ranger sniper and a decorated special agent with the FBI, but even if I wasn’t exceedingly observant, I would have to be blind to miss the giant, flashy diamond on her left hand. Gretchen is no longer my responsibility, and it’s not my job to make this easier for her when she has proven time and time again not to consider my feelings. I still don’t say anything when I know she expects me to; I just sit there waiting for her to get on with it. Gretchen is exceptionally good at her job and keeps her professional mask securely in place whenever it’s required, but I know her better thanshe gives me credit for, and I can see how uncomfortable she is right now. I have to make sure to hide my smug grin, as there are few things I find as satisfying as seeing Gretchen squirm.
“Right, well out of respect for our history, I wanted to tell you in person that Adam has asked me to marry him, and I said yes.” She has a small smile on her face as she looks at me with hopeful eyes. I’m not sure what she’s looking for here. Am I supposed to be happy for her? Does she want me to give her a hug, pop some champagne, and congratulate her for getting engaged to the asshole she slept with behind my back? Gretchen had the choice to end our relationship with some decency and respect, but instead she chose to lie until I caught the two of them in our own home.
It’s been just over a year, but cheating is still unacceptable in my book. The woman sitting across from me is not the person I loved. She might look and sound like her, but I know now I loved a mythical version of Gretchen. I miss that version, but it was a lie. The more time that goes by, the more I realize how unhealthy parts of our relationship were, even excluding her unfaithfulness. She was always ready to unload all her needs and concerns on me, but when I had something to say, she never made an effort to listen. Even if they were once a close friend, I could never love someone who repeatedly cheats and lies to my face. Gretchen’s infidelity was exposed just two weeks before her birthday, when I had planned to surprise her with an engagement ring that had been waiting in my safe.
Unfortunately, I’m still the gentleman my mama raised, so I give her a polite smile and stand. “Congratulations, Gretchen. I hope you two are very happy together.” Her smile widens, and she stands and moves around the desk, as if I’m going to give her a hug. I offer my hand to shake instead, and her smile falls just enough that anyone else would have missed it. She takes my hand but doesn’t let go after shaking it.
“Thanks. That really means a lot. I know things have been … different this last year, but I know we can get back to our friendship if we’re both willing to try. We have too much history together and I miss my friend, Walker.”
Yeah, that’s never going to happen. I let go of her hand and take a step back.
If she knows me at all, she should know deceit is not something I overlook or forget. I keep my circle small and tight. Loyalty is non-negotiable for the people in my life, but outside of work, Gretchen is no longer in my life. She is where she belongs—firmly in my past. Knowing I won’t run into her on a regular basis made my promotion and transfer even sweeter. We both work for the Criminal Enterprise Branch of the bureau and inevitably we will cross paths at some point, but thankfully, those occasions should be few and far between. I ignore her friendship comment and lift my chin to her. “Take care of yourself, Gretchen.”
Sliding her perfect mask back in place, she gives me one of her signature smiles. “Of course, you do the same, Walker. Good luck with the move, and I hope you love Nashville.” I nod in agreement without saying anything else. I know she expects me to say more, but I don’t owe her any personal information about my life. I don’t owe her anything. She walks to the door, turning to give me a small wave before leaving. I still can’t believe how close I was to proposing to her before it all fell apart. Talk about dodging a bullet. I would rather be alone the rest of my life than live a lie, even one as pretty as Gretchen.
I slide my jacket on, grab the box on my desk, and take one last look at what was my office for the last six years. A few colleagues stop me for quick goodbyes as I head out to my truck. My team is relocating to Nashville from across the country, but due to the nature of our jobs, I’ll still interact with the teams in Atlanta, just in a different role as I lead the new task force. I probably couldhave negotiated to stay based in Atlanta, but I was ready for a change, so when my boss mentioned the task force might be based in Nashville, I fully supported the idea.
I add the last box from my office to the backseat of my black GMC Sierra 1500 Denali truck. I could drive a vehicle provided by the bureau, but I prefer my own truck whenever possible. My brothers and I all drive the same truck. I used to give my older brothers a hard time for all the upgrades they insisted on, but as I get older, the bougie extras are nice. Do I need an $85,000 truck? No, but I sure do love the seat massager after a long day. We trade up every three years and it’s one of my favorite perks of the family business. People outside of Hampton County—and especially those unfamiliar with ranches in Texas—can be quick to judge when they hear you’re from a small town. They assume we’re all out of touch, country bumpkin hicks that marry our cousins, but the Bennett Corporation is one of the largest ranches in Texas. My older brothers, Sam and Charlie, officially took over a few years ago. Although I'm sure our dad still works more than Mama would prefer, but retirement isn't a concept the Bennett men fully grasp.
My parents are a walking real-life love story, even fifty years after they started dating in high school. They got married when Mama turned eighteen and had my oldest brother, Samuel Henry Bennett, two years later. Charles Wilson Bennett arrived three years after Sam, and as Mama likes to say, our family was perfectly complete five years later when I joined the party. My full name is Henry Walker Bennett III, but no one calls me Henry. Henry Bennett was my granddad, and my dad goes by Hank, so I’ve always gone by Walker. People often assume I’m the oldest brother since I’m named after my dad, but when my dad and his twin brother were born there was a mix-up at the hospital. Even though he was the younger twin, my dad was named Henry Walker Bennett II. Instead of fixing it, my grandparents thought it was kismet as hewas the second son. My parents joked they would carry on the tradition, and they decided to leave it up to fate if they ever had a third son.
When Sam got his first truck, our dad got him the same truck he personally drove, then did the same for Charlie, and eventually me. We like the tradition, and I think of them every time I get behind the wheel. As if he knows I was thinking of him, Charlie sends a text to the brothers group chat.
Charlie
Did they run you out of town yet?
Me
No, asshole. I chase the bad guys, not the other way around.
Charlie
LOL yeah ok, Batman. How did the last day in ATL go?
Me
Fine. Would’ve been better if Gretchen hadn’t stopped by. Won’t miss running into her.
Sam
Why? What did she do?
Me
Nothing important. Had to show off her new engagementring.
Charlie
You know, when relationships start off by cheating on other people, they always end in a happily ever after. Good for her, she deserves it. Hope her finger turns green from the ring.
Sam
