Page 78 of Soaring Free
I haven’t been this nauseous since back when I was pregnant. Did that all really happen? I am livid at Shane’s behavior and accusations, and honestly, I don’t love Theo’s comments either. Well, I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s slightly mortifying to have my sex life discussed where other people can hear commentary on my performance abilities.
As we take a few steps away, I hear Shane calmly say, “This isn’t over, Savannah.” But I know my ex, and he is anything but calm right now. I also know how this town works, and I know everything that just transpired is going to be spread throughout town faster than a fire in a cotton field on a windy day. Theo’s face goes from smug to alarmed as his gaze meets mine while we walk away.
“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, but I can’t punch him in the face in public.” Theo immediately launches an apology, and I get it, but I’m still embarrassed.
“And you think I don’t want to slap him across the face right now after that absolute bullshit? But I can’t do that, Theo. I have to keep my shit together, and if you’re with me, then you have to keep it together too.”
“If?!” Theo stops walking and turns me to face him. “There is no if here, Savannah. Don’t do that. Don’t pull back away from a good thing because his shitty games are working.”
“No, I know that. We are together, but I also know that his actions today could have serious implications on my life and on my daughters’ lives.” I try to lower my voice and tug him along as we walk through the crowds to make our way back to our girls.
I look over his shoulder and my blood goes cold from the glare Shane is shooting at me. I lean into Theo’s body with his arm wrapped firmly around me. I don’t want him to think I’m questioning him or us at all; I feel like a tsunami just crashed over me and I need a minute to catch my breath.
“Vivi mentioned the girls going out to Daddy’s for a sleepover after this, and I think that might be best.”
“Okay, I’m sure Pippa would love to have Gigi over for one too.” I look away as Theo places two fingers under my chin and guides my eyes back to him. “Nope, we don’t run from each other when things get hard, Kitten. We run to each other, into battle, through the storm, together.
“I promise, we are okay,” I quietly say to Theo.
“I know I overstepped back there, and I’m so sorry. I guess you aren’t the only one who has claws that can come out when their buttons are pushed.” Theo leans in and kisses my temple as I hum in agreement. “I love you,” he murmurs with his lips pressed against my hairline.
“I know, I love you too,” I tell him as we walk to get our girls—together.
***
Once we got home, I took a quick shower as though I could rinse off Shane’s gross behavior. I don’t understand what he thinks is going to happen here.Does he really think he can bully me into submission? Is he new here?The harder he pushes me into a corner, the more likely I am to run to the other side of the room.
Theo understood that I wasn’t really in the mood to talk, but he still did everything he could to love and support me. He ordered us some dinner and cleaned it up while I processed the shit show that was running into my ex. I’m most concerned about my girls hearing about it; I don’t really care what the general population of Forrest Falls thinks—but my girls are everything.
I grab my lavender mug and pat myself on the back for choosing my chamomile tea with honey over wine because if a girl could ever use a stiff drink, it was this girl. But I don’t want it to be the only way I can cope with my ex or I’ll have to be drinking twenty-four seven. Chamomile tea and honey is definitely the safer choice, well, unless he stops by and pisses me off, then I’ll make sure it’s extra hot. Asshole.
Theo places our tea on the side table before grabbing us a throw from the basket I keep by the patio door. We curl up together on the outdoor couch with our Kindles. I can’t even read because my mind won’t stop going a thousand miles an hour in every direction. After I finish my tea, I aimlessly run the birthstones for my girls on my necklace back and forth on the chain. Playing with the three gems calms my mind slightly, not much, but it does help.
I know Theo would talk if I wanted to, but I also know he’s giving me space, while still supporting me. His presence at my house is comforting, and I tell him as much before I snuggle into him a little closer. He somehow understands that while I want to depend on him, I also need my own space too. As if reading my thoughts, he starts to stand. “I’m going to go take a quick shower, give you a few minutes by yourself, and then we’ll call it an early night, sound good?”
I nod and Theo kisses my forehead as he tucks me in under the blankets before heading inside.
I am so pissed at Shane for being an asshat, but as I unpack everything, there are two things I know are without a doubt true. I know that Shane doesn’t actually want to pursue any joint custody. I also know that without question, I am all in with Theo. I don’t need to run from him, and he’s right—I should be running to him. He knows I’m a strong woman, but I also need to show him that I trust him enough to let him see me weak and vulnerable too. I’m used to having all the answers and plans for everything, and being vulnerable is not something I have a lot of experience with.
I think the exhaustion of the day is catching up with me because I can barely keep my eyes open. When I go through a really emotional day, it physically just wipes me out. With my girls at a sleepover at Daddy’s, I don’t have to worry about their bedtime routine or policing if anyone brushed their teeth. The plush throw blanket and crisp fall evening air make this perfect combination that has me snuggling under the blanket to rest my eyes for just a moment. I must have fallen asleep, but at some point, I stir, faintly feeling someone lean their face against mine and wrap their arm around my back, and their other arm slides under my knees. It’s odd though—I can’t place the cologne I smell, but I know it isn’t Theo’s.
“Shhh, go back to sleep, my angel. It’s all going to be okay, shhhh. I’m here now.”
Jokes on him, I’m no angel, but before I can argue—or even open my eyes to see who said that—my exhaustion forces me to give in to the sleep I was fighting.
Chapter fifty-one
My eyes are a little blurry as I wake up and stretch—but I startle, realizing I’m not in my bed, or even Savannah’s bed.What the hell am I doing on the bathroom floor?I rub my neck as I sit up, completely dumbfounded as to why I’m sprawled out on the floor of Savannah’s primary bathroom. My back is shot after lying on the tile floor for however long I was here.Did I fall or something?I glance at my watch, shocked to see it’s seven in the morning. The last thing I remember was coming upstairs to shower while giving Savannah a few minutes to herself … but I can’t remember getting in the shower. I can’t remember anything after walking up the stairs.
Did I sleep on the bathroom floor all night? Why didn’t Savannah wake me, or hell, call an ambulance?I try to shake the stupor, but I feel like I have a hangover that could rival my college days. My head is throbbing.
What the hell is going on?
“Sav? Baby?” I call out to her, but I don’t hear a response. Savannah knows I’m crazy about her, there’s no point in playing it cool when it comes to her, and knowing she was upset last night killed me. I tried to do everything I could to be there for her while still letting her mentally unpack the drama of the evening. She knows she can talk about it with me when she’s ready. Speaking of my gorgeous woman … where is she? I need her … and coffee. A lot of coffee, and maybe a giant aspirin, and possibly a jug of Pedialyte.
“Hello? Sav? Where are you?” We should have woken up together, preferably in one of our beds. The house’s silence isdeafening as a feeling of dread claws at my gut. I’m sure the combination of worrying about her last night then waking up on the fucking bathroom floor has me feeling out of sorts, but I really don’t like the sense of foreboding creeping up my spine, and it’s only amplified as I walk out of the bathroom. Savannah’s bed is either already made for the day or still made from last night. I can’t imagine Savannah would sleep in her bed and just leave me on the bathroom floor. I rush down the stairs calling her name, but she doesn’t answer.
I don’t see her in the kitchen, so I continue to call out her name. The house feels empty and the gnawing feeling that something is wrong is growing exponentially by the second. Before I can head downstairs, the doorbell rings. I yell one more time before checking the peephole. Opening the door, I find Sheriff Eddie standing on Savannah’s front step. He hardly looks surprised to see me, but I wasn’t expecting to see him on my girlfriend’s porch today.
