Page 15 of Soaring Free
Olivia walks into the kitchen as I arrange the flowers in the vase. “Hey baby, how was your day?” My brother Ryan picked them up today so he could take them out for ice cream after school, something about losing a bet last week, but that was likely just an excuse for him to spend some time with them. My brothers have been creating reasons to spend more time with the girls since Shane’s penthouse bomb detonated. “Did your ice cream taste sweeter knowing you beat your uncle?”
“Hey, Mama. Ha, I think we both know that Uncle Ryan rigged that bet so he’d lose, but don’t tell Lucy. She really thinks we beat him. My day was fine, nothing special.” She shrugs and I know my girl—that’s not how she looks when everything is fine.
“Come on, peanut,” I say as I take her hand and tug her into the living room. I nod to the couch and have a seat at one end while she sits in the middle. “What’s going on, baby?”
Her lip quivers before she answers, “It’s nothing. I texted Daddy and asked if he was coming to my volleyball game this week and he said he didn’t think his schedule would allow it.”
Of course not, that would require him to make his children a priority. I don’t share my inside thoughts with my daughter, but I’m livid at Shane for once again making his girls think they are not important. “Well, I know your sisters and I will be there, whatever uncles are in town, and Papa too. Also, Auntie mentioned that Walker will be back in town and is going to try and come too.”
“That’s nice. I like Walker, and Eloise says he loves her mama, which is super cute.” Olivia is looking at her hands and not meeting my eyes.
“What else is going on?” I poke her foot with mine.
“I’m just … I think I’m just mad? Or sad? I don’t know, Mama.” Olivia looks up with tears in her eyes. My brave, beautiful girl tries so hard to keep it all together, but I know my girls are dealing with their own big emotions with everything.
“You know what?” She shrugs in response, waiting for me to continue. “I’m kind of mad and kind of sad too. And I feel thosetwo things at the same time, along with a lot of other feelings, which can be a lot and feel really heavy, right?”
Olivia nods. “Yeah, and then I feel bad for feeling that way because we still have a lot of good things in our life. I know some kids never had a dad in the picture in the first place, like it was just them and their mom. We have other men in our lives that love us. Our uncles are great and Papa shows up every single time. But our dad … he just left.” A lone tear escapes her lashes and I can’t reach over fast enough to brush it away. I gently pull her into my arms.
“We assume the best of the people we love and hope they assume the best of us. No one is perfect, but loving someone is a choice, baby. We choose to show up for the people we love. We choose to extend grace and forgiveness. And if they don’t reciprocate that? Well, that’s their choice too, baby.”
“Why weren’t we enough for him to want to stay?” she whispers as I kiss the top of her head. Her voicing my own feelings shoves that knife of betrayal even deeper. “How can he just leave us?”
“You, my darling girl, are more than enough. This is not on you, this is on him and has nothing to do with my brilliant, incredible girls, okay? I know this is hard and messy, but I promise you, baby, we will get through this.” I feel her nod against my chest and I hug her just a little tighter. My daughter used to fit on my lap, nuzzled into my neck, but my baby is growing up. It doesn’t matter how old she gets though, she will always be my baby, and I will always, always show up for her.
And hopefully one day, my asshole ex will realize what he is missing out on and wake up before it’s too late and he misses his chance—because these girls? They are not optional, they are everything.
Chapter eleven
Pulling into my reserved spot at the law firm, I quickly send a message to my assistant to let him know I’m walking over to grab coffee at Java Jive and see if I can bring anything back for him. A younger version of me would never have thought too much about having the right people on my team—I’m the lawyer, I’m who the people need to see. And while that statement is true, I can only be a great attorney if I have a great team around me. I’ve unfortunately experienced what it’s like to have the wrong people on my team, so I will do whatever I can to take care of someone when they are a good fit for how I like to run things and also fit in well with the firm overall.
Cian has been my assistant since I started running the office in Forrest Falls, and if I have my way, he will be my assistant until the day I retire. I first met him over twenty years ago when he was a young kid watching our weekend rugby games when I lived in Ireland. His older brother Cormac was one of my best friends and his family took me under their wing while I studied abroad at Trinity College Dublin through my undergraduate at Harvard. I still consider Cormac one of my closest friends, so when he told me that Cian wanted to come to the States after college to work, I had a meeting with Cian and offered him a position with my firm before the video call was over. I pay him ridiculously well and he puts up with my—at times—ridiculous demands and requests.
Cian
Large black would be grand, mate.
Me
You got it. Did Pippa say anything about the Callahan-Williams vs. Williams filing this morning?
Cian
She did not, but I don’t think she’s left the office. Her mood would indicate it must not have been the judge she wanted. I would go ask but I like my eyebrows.
I chuckle at his comment. One time in court, Pippa unleashed on this egotistical asshole that was making things personal, and she viscerally ripped him apart. In his rage, he called my darling sister a fire-breathing dragon, expecting it to be an insult, but Pippa has claimed the moniker with pride. If she is in a mood, one knows to avoid her unless they want to face her wrath—and fire. Our brother Van thought the story was so funny that he had a custom gold broach made for her that Christmas.
Me
I’ll check in with the dragon when I get in, let me know if you learn anything else.
Cian knows me well enough to know what I’m really saying is that I want him to find out what happened, and I suspect he will have at least some of the details, if not the full story, by the time I arrive with our coffees. Cian is an expert at gathering information and people think his Irish accent is charming, which he absolutely uses to his advantage.
Pippa mentioned she intended to file a motion to overturn Shane’s bullshit freeze of assets, but that is entirely dependenton which judge approved the motion. If Pippa’s inner dragon is on the loose, then I suspect things didn’t go her way.
If I were on the other side of the aisle, I would be rightfully terrified of a fire-breathing dragon paired with a fierce kitten with claws like Savannah seems to have. The visual of a little kitten riding on the back of a dragon makes me laugh out loud as I walk around the corner and down the block to Java Jive. One thing I love about Forrest Falls is that once you’re downtown, almost everything is within walking distance. It has all the amenities I could want in a town, but also just an hour or so away from Nashville, which has everything I could possibly want or need, and plenty of things I do not want to deal with on a daily basis. Growing up in the suburbs of Nashville was great, but I wanted more of a community feel for my daughter’s childhood. Our parents still have a home in Nashville but have been spending more time in Europe lately, specifically London, where my brother Van lives.
I understand as a parent wanting to be near your children. Although even when Gigi is grown and spreading her wings, I suspect Forrest Falls will always be my home base. Unless she flies too far away, then I’ll have a second home wherever she lands.
