Page 49 of Soaring Free
“We’ve had a few texting conversations, but I haven’t spoken to him directly. I did talk to his sister, but obviously, that was about the case and not the schoolgirl crush I have on her brother.” My eyes widen as I realize I’m going to have to eventually talk to her about that, especially if Theo and I continue to explore our connection. “I really like Pippa, but I’ve never been friends with someone whose brother I was … meeting for coffee dates that I refuse to call actual dates? I don’t know how to define what we’re doing.” I huff in frustration.
“So don’t.” Vivian shrug.
“Don’t what? Tell Pippa?” I furrow my brows.
“No, she probably will find out, so it’s better coming from either you or Theo directly, but don’t define it. You don’t owe it to anyone else, and if you aren’t ready to put a label on it or shove it into some box, then don’t.”
“You’re right. I think I’m just a little, I don’t know, nervous? Maybe that’s not even the right word. I’ve felt a little off the last few weeks and I’m probably in my own head with everything.”
“Off how? Like because of Shane and his bullshit or what?” Vivian turns to tuck a leg under herself so she can face me on the couch.
“That’s probably contributing to it, for sure.”How do I put this into words without sounding like a crazy person?“There’s a lot of transition and change going on all at once, so I’m sure that’s the culprit, and I can’t even put my finger on it, but things have just felt … off lately.” I shrug at my lame explanation but it’s just agut feeling.
“Like around you or inside you emotionally?”
“Hmm. Maybe both? I don’t know, and maybe I’m just losing my mind a little, but lately, things aren’t where I always keep them, or like the missing underwear?”
“Those didn’t turn up yet?”
“Nope. Or like when my spare key to my car was missing, and then the next day the fob was magically back on the hook where it should’ve been in the first place. And I know, I’m sure the girls are the ones that have moved stuff, or not put things away properly, and I’m probably just emotionally amped up because of everything. I’m worried about the stress the divorce is putting on my girls, I’m anxious about what Shane will pull next, and I might be having a little identity crisis processing losing the title of being Shane’s wife. So then, throw in a ridiculously good-looking man that makes me feel like he could light me up like the fourth of July and I feel unsteady.”
“I think I’d be more concerned if you weren’t worried about all of that,” Vivian tells me as she puts her hand over mine and squeezes it. “It’s a lot of change and new all at once, while also letting go of the familiar and what you’ve known for the last almost fourteen years. If that wasn’t throwing you a little off balance, I’d worry you were just avoiding your reality.”
“Is that an option? Can I avoid it all? That sounds peaceful.”
“Nope, sorry. It might be peaceful for a minute, but all that stuff? It’s still going to happen and pile up, so the longer you avoid it, the bigger the pile will be.”
“When did you get so wise?”
“When some lunatic arranged the murder of my husband and made me a single mother.”
Fair point.
Vivian continues, “But seriously, the therapy and work I’ve had to do over the last year and a half, it’s changed my perspective on things. So, even though it’s hard and tough and heavy, I think it’s better to unpack whatever you can and face it head on. If you wait, it will still be there, it will just grow, along with your worries and fears too.”
“So, what do I do?” I look at my sister earnestly.
“Well, let’s pause and look at the pieces.” Vivian smiles. Our mama would notoriously tell us to pause part of a problem, focus on the smaller pieces, then repeat until we unpacked all the heavy, instead of being overwhelmed by a complicated situation. We take apart my fears and worries, along with the heavy reality of going through a divorce. At the end, in addition to dealing with the divorce, I’m honest with my sister about starting to have some real feelings for Theo. Those two situations are probably what’s throwing me off in more than one way. “And if you feel off again in your house, you will immediately call me or Walker and one of us will walk over.”
I nod in agreement as the man himself walks out to join us on the patio. Walker looks down lovingly at Vivian. “Did you get a chance to tell her, Sugar?”
“No … we hadn’t gotten to that part yet.” Vivian turns to me and I already know where this conversation is going, even before she says anything. She takes a deep breath, and I can already see the tears forming.
I smile at both of them. “Nope, stop. That’s not necessary. You don’t have to deliver a big speech; I expected this when Walker was moving to town, and even more so with the pregnancy and engagement. I know y’all will be moving out eventually. Just tell me how long I get to keep you here, and how far away you’ll be.” I reach over and pat her hand.
“We met with Daddy this morning, and we’re going to build a quarter mile from his house and have a walking path put in between the two houses. Finn is going to break ground next week.” Vivian’s guilt is all over face, but it isn’t necessary.
“How long does he think it will take?” Our brother Finn is a phenomenal carpenter with his own residential construction company and has the ability to bring an old-world charm to his new builds. Out of all the Callahan siblings, he got the most of Mama’s creative side and has the heart of an artist.
“The goal is to have it done before the babies come, so early next year. But even after we move, if you needanything, we aren’t far,” Walker insists. Even he looks guilty and exceptionally uncomfortable at my sister’s tears.
“This is good news, Viv. No sad tears, only happy tears. I’m happy to have you here as long as y’all need the guesthouse, it’s yours. And I’ll be happy to invade your new house to steal snuggles from the twins when the time comes too!” We both stand and hug each other. When I hug my sister barefoot, it highlights the inch height difference between us, one I typically erase in my standard high heels. I lean back from our hug to look at her face. “Oh honey, don’t cry. Were you nervous to tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to feel like we were abandoning you in your time of need! What kind of sister am I to move out of my sister’s as she navigates a divorce?”
“Why would I ever think that?” I try to soothe her, but her hormones are definitely making her cry even more than usual, and I try to hold back my laughter.
“I don’t know, but I don’t want you to feel deserted!” She sniffs and wipes a few rogue tears. “You’ve done so much for Eloise and me, and I feel like I’m leaving you right when you need to lean on me.”
