Page 75 of Soaring Free
I grin at my sister. “Those boys are already keeping youon your toes.”
Her smile stretches into a huge grin matching my own. “I know, and who could have ever thought we would have twin boys?” She and Walker found out at their twenty-week scan that not only are those babies growing perfectly, but the babies are identical twin boys.
“I can’t wait, honey.” I reach over and lovingly squeeze her arm. She wipes away a lone tear that slipped down her cheek before waving in her face.
“Okay, enough of that. We don’t get to have a lot of kid-free, men-free time and I need to know. How are you doing, Savannah? Like really doing, I want the unedited truth.” Vivian raises an eyebrow at me and gives me her best fierce look. It’s not terrifying, but it is adorable.
A deep sigh that I feel down to my bones escapes my body as I consider her question. The unedited truth might be more than I can honestly handle right now. When I opened that email yesterday, I barely made it to the bathroom before I lost my lunch. I never expected an email would have the ability to make me throw up, but this is my life right now.
Those moments were meant for Theo and me alone. Someone not only trespassed into my home, but they also violated into a moment that wasn’t theirs to see. I only slept last night because Liam refused to leave my guest room down the hall, and I knew I wasn’t alone with the girls in the house. If Liam had left, I know Theo would have been there in a heartbeat, but Liam insisted on staying in the house until his colleague can come and do some work on my security system or something. I don’t always follow all of his technical talk, and honestly, I suspect Liam was purposely using jargon to have it go over my head anyway so I wouldn’t stress more than I already am.
“I think … I’m multiple things all at once.”
My sister reaches across the table and places her hand on mine, squeezing it slightly before holding it. “Explain, please.”
“Well, we can’t really avoid yesterday, right? That was … Viv, that was awful.” I shake my head and look up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears as Kim silently slides our muffins onto the table before slipping away. “I still feel … dirty somehow, but not because of what Theo and I did together but because someone else was watching that without our permission, you know? And I should feel safe in my own bedroom, but that feeling has been snatched from me.” I pick at the muffin, but even Java Jive’s famous muffins aren’t tempting me to eat anything. I haven’t been able to stomach more than a bite or two of any food since the email came through yesterday.
I huff before admitting the piece that really embarrasses me about the whole situation. “That’s before I also unpack the fact that one—at least, hopefully only one—of our brothers has also seen those photographs, and that’s incredibly awkward for both of us, not that Liam is making me feel bad about it all but come on. Liam’s our big brother and he should never be forced to look at images like that. Thankfully, he only saw the ones of us in bed sleeping before he sent them off for a forensic breakdown of any metadata attached, but he knows what the other photos include. They all do!” I throw my hand up in frustration. “It hasn’t been confirmed, but I’m pretty sure our own father knows about the photographs and that is embarrassing.”
I pick up my iced latte and take another pull from the straw, trying to calm myself before setting it back down. “There’s a competition of which emotion is worse … am I more freaked out by the fact that someone has been in my home and violated my privacy, or am I more pissed off that someone is making me feel so weak and out of control of my own life?” And I’m plenty pissed off, but the fear is growing every time something else creepy happens. “Spoiler alert: they are all bullshit.”
“Do you think this is all a game for Shane?” Vivian asks and holds up a hand before I can respond. “I’m not accusing him, I’m just asking you if you think he’s involved.”
A bark of laughter escapes me. “Well, that would be a bit ironic, wouldn’t it? I couldn’t get him to be home and be present with our family when we were married, but now that we’re divorced, I can’t get him to leave me the hell alone?” I shake my head. “Although Liam did let me know that Shane apparently bought a loft in thesame area of Nashville as the damn penthouse. This one even has three bedrooms, so almost enough for each of our daughters to have a bedroom at their father’s home. What a mess.”
“Is that … what’s the right word here … strange to be processing those feelings while also exploring things with Theo?” Vivian isn’t judging me, and if anyone can understand what I’m going through right now, it’s my sister. When her husband Trent was murdered almost two years ago, she was processing his death along with everything that came out after, all while also falling in love with the FBI Agent investigating his murder. It all worked out for her and Walker in the end, but it was complicated at the time. “I know we talked about it back then, but at times I felt bad that I didn’t feel more upset about Trent’s death, but my anger at his betrayal was so encompassing that it swallowed up a lot of my sadness. You can feel two things at the same time and both of them can be true.”
“On one extreme side of things, I’m so angry at whoever is violating my life and the bullshit in dealing with the divorce. But then there is the other extreme of joy and love with Theo. He’s such a good man, and the way he makes me feel … Viv, I thought that was only in books, you know?” She nods. I know she understands because she experienced the same thing when Walker showed her what it was like to be loved—and loved well. “I’m definitely afraid of getting hurt, of being considered … not worthy of him sticking around. But it’s like every time one of those fears flares up, he does or says something that just stomps that fear right out. He goes out of his way to make sure I know how he feels about me and chases away any of my fears about us.”
Vivian giggles. “Anyone that sees the way that man looks at you would tell you that those fears are unfounded. He is completely besotted with you.”
“It’s completely mutual too. I know it probably looks fast to people on the outside of our relationship, but we’ve both lived our lives and know what we want, you know? Neither of us wantto waste any time, not when we could be together. And I adore Gigi; she meshes so well with my girls too.”
“Do you think y’all will be moving in together soon? I know you don’t like being away from each other, so it feels like a logical step.”
I tilt my head back and forth as I look around to make sure no one is eavesdropping. “We’ve talked about it, and honestly, what I’d love to do is to start fresh somewhere together. Not his house or my house but make our own home together.”
Vivian’s eyes light up and she nearly bounces with joy. “Oooo, you know what you should do? You should build on some of Daddy’s land. I know he would sell you some land and then we could live near each other!”
“You know, that’s not a bad idea at all. I thought about us building somewhere but didn’t think too much about it. I’ll mention it to Theo the next time we talk about it.” I actually kind of love the idea. Daddy has enough land that we could build and he wouldn’t even see our house. Ryan built a house about a mile north from where we all grew up, and Vivian and Walker are building about a quarter mile south from Daddy’s. Our other brothers have made comments over the years that makes me wonder if they don’t have similar plans to Ryan’s, but they like to be sneaky with their agendas.
But first, I need to figure out who the hell is messing with me and get control of my life back.
If only things in my life were that simple.
Chapter forty-six
Closing the dishwasher, the doorbell rings and I check the security camera. I don’t even try to hide the grin as I walk over and open the front door.
“Well, fancy seeing you two here. Hey guys, what’s going on?” Theo and Gigi are standing on my front step, and as soon as I can pull my gaze from Theo’s handsome face, I notice they’re both carrying duffel bags.
“Surprise!” Theo grins as he looks down at his daughter.
“We’re having a sleepover!” Gigi proclaims before launching into a hug. I’m a hugger in general and there are all kinds of hugs in this world, but Gigi gives some of my favorite hugs outside of my own immediate family. She puts in a little piece of her heart every time she hugs me, and I feel so honored to receive them each and every time. I would notice her hugs even if I didn’t know the background with her biological mother, but knowing how Blake just abandoned her? It makes me hug her a little tighter and a little longer.
“A surprise sleepover, huh? Why don’t you guys come on in and tell me all about it.” I open the door further and Theo greets me with a sweet kiss before reaching for Gigi’s bag.
“Why don’t you go tell the girls the fun news, Princess?”
