Page 85 of The Renter
“I had Nikola add a few pieces so it wouldn’t feel too empty,” I say, watching her take in the floor-to-ceiling shelving, hanging space, and the island in the center.
“This is insane!” She walks around, touching the clothes Nikola picked out.
“It connects to the bathroom.”
She smiles, and I stand back, letting her explore, feeling a sense of pride and happiness. Seeing her so happy, so at home, reaffirms my decision to make these changes. As she turns to me, her eyes shining, I know I’ve done the right thing. “You did all this for me?”
“Every detail was with you in mind.” I smile, stepping closer to her. “I want you to feel like this is your home too.”
She wraps her arms around me, and as I hug her back, I feel the deep connection between us. These renovations aren’t just about what I can provide; they’re about creating spaces we both love and cherish, spaces that will help us build a life together.
“Thank you … but it’s too much,” she says after a long hug.
I can feel the tension in her body, her words laced with gratitude and unease. “What do you mean?” I ask gently, pulling back slightly to look into her eyes.
Dani takes a deep breath. “Adam, this is all incredible, and I appreciate it more than you know. But it’s too soon for me to move in. I’m overwhelmed by all of this.” She gestures around the room.
“Too much?” I ask, and she laughs nervously. I try to hide my disappointment. “I wanted to create space for you in this home so it’s a place that you love too.”
She places a hand on my cheek. “And I do love it. But I need to live on my own for a while. I don’t want our relationship to get complicated by cohabitating. I love you, Adam, and that’s why I don’t want to rush this.”
Her words resonate with me. I’ve been so caught up in my desire to make her happy, to show her how much she means to me, that I hadn’t fully considered her need for independence.
“You’re right,” I say, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “I got carried away. All I want if for you to be happy.”
“I’m happy with you. But I need to take this step on my own. I hope you understand.”
“I do. And I support you, no matter what.” I take her hand, squeezing it gently. “If living on your own for now is what you need, then that’s what you should do.”
Her perfect smile reappears, and she leans in to kiss me. “Thank you, Adam. For understanding … for everything.”
“Open that drawer.” I point to the island. Dani smiles, pulling the sunglasses drawer open. “We can match.” She smiles, picking up the same pair of sunglasses she liked from the boat. “What’s under them?” I ask. She looks back down and grabs a key. “Come and go as you please. It’s symbolic. I’ll have the security company set you up with a PIN code.”
She motions with her finger for me to come closer, with a little smirk on her face. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her in for a kiss before picking her up and placing her on the island.
“I love you.”
As we stare at each other, I push my impatience aside. I love her, and if giving her space is what she needs, I’m more than willing to do that. Trying not to be disappointed, I whisper, “This is our home, and the apartment will be your home.”
68
Sitting on the island in my closet, surrounded by so many new clothes, shoes, and purses, I nearly cry. I’m overwhelmed. This is exactly what I’ve been dreaming of, manifesting, and working toward. To live in a house like this, to have nice things.
“I have to take this,” Adam says, looking at his phone and leaving the room.
I’m grateful to have a moment alone to process the enormity of his gestures.Why am I so hesitant to accept this future he’s laying at my feet?I know he loves me. I know he wants the best for me. The disappointment was all over his face.
I’m not saying I’ll never move in, just that I can’t do it right now. It’s too soon. Exploring the closet and everything that’s been picked out for me, I push down the feeling that I should do it—move in with him. I can’t be swayed yet. It would be insane to move in with him right now, I remind myself.
Looking at the key, it feels like a more appropriate gesture to where we are in our relationship. He trusts me with his home and his heart.
69
We stop by my office, where I dive into a few meetings while Dani occupies one of the telephone booth pods, busy with her calls. It’s a familiar rhythm for me, but I’m conscious of Dani being there, adding a new dimension to my routine.
After wrapping up my meetings, I suggest to Dani, “Let’s go look at the apartments down the street.” I don’t mention that I’ve already arranged a tour at the newest luxury apartment building in River North. I’m hoping that once she sees the place, she’ll be able to envision a life there.
The tour starts with a one-bedroom unit. It’s nice, but as I glance at Dani, I can tell it’s not right. It’s too small for her. She’ll be working from home a lot. There’s no ideal work space.
