Page 33 of In the Safety's Zone
“Yeah.” I held my breath in anticipation of his answer.
“Everything.” His words were simple, his tone was soft but emphatic in his sincerity.
My breath released slowly because I wasn’t sure how to respond to this. My relationship knowledge was all toxic and I thought men nowadays weren’t stating their desires bluntly. I mean, we’d had one date and half a hookup, but he was applying this kind of pressure.
“That’s a weighted statement.”
“It is and it ain’t one that I take lightly. People talk. I’ve heard words without actions my entire life. I’ve moved that way with people before because that’s what I thought was expected of me. I’ve been spoiled and only thought of myself. I don’t want that especially not with you. It’s been a few weeks and all I can think about is how to help you make this time smoother. Ease your mind. I know you don’t need me financially, but even that is something that was on my mind. If you need something. Have you eaten or taken care of yourself? That’s the manly side of me I guess.” He shrugged like the idea of worrying about me morethan my parents probably ever had wasn’t a big deal. It left me momentarily speechless and I could feel myself tearing up.
“Money isn’t a thing and I’ve seen so many people controlled by finances that I would never want to depend on a man for that.” My mother still being married to my father had everything to do with money. And her inability to speak up for herself.
“Yeah but money is still something I would offer. Call it pride.”
“Yeah, well, your wanting to is something that truly surprises me. Most people in our age group are talking about going half on stuff and men being angry when their girl even wants to feel special.”
“Your feeling special is the bare minimum. Going half-shit is nonnegotiable because I truly believe that if I can provide it, I will. I’d rather go without so my family has everything they need. It’s probably a traumatic response to my childhood to be real but I’d rather be hyper-vigilant in taking care of my people than be selfish.”
“So if I’m the woman in this situation—”
“When you’re the woman in the situation—”
“Okay, we’ll go with that, how do we compromise on this?”
“Like when I want to treat you, how can I if you’re trying to spend all your money on the family?”
“Treating me is one thing. I wouldn’t have you worrying about bills and stuff when I got it.”
Not like I was counting his pockets but I was sure I made more than him. I wasn’t a snob but if it got to that I wouldn’t want him out there struggling while I had millions of dollars just sitting in the bank.
“I feel like we need to table this conversation for another time. When it becomes necessary we can revisit it. Does that work?”
“Hell yeah. Look at us working through our shit with communication instead of arguing. I told you this shit is fated, Phro. But anyway, what do you think about what I was saying? I want to see your pretty face in person. I need to take you on a real date if that’s cool with you? And soon.”
“Well, I have to play in a certain amount of matches to keep my ranking up or else I get docked points before the majors. I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”
“That’s fucked up. They just can’t let you be great?”
“Apparently not. But I do want to see you. I just don’t know how all of this works. Trying to figure out my schedule around someone else’s. My next real break isn’t until after Wimbledon.”
“Cool. I might pop in and see you between your other matches. I don’t fuck with the French even if I’m from Louisiana but maybe we can go back by the deli so you can convince me about chopped cheese.”
“Maybe…”
“Wazzam, Phro? Say what you want.”
“Maybe we could hang out after one of my matches. I’m not trying to get you to come overseas or anything but I have meets in Miami, California and a few overseas. We might not make it back to see Leo, but we might get together there.”
“Like a lil baecation? I fucks with it. I’ll look into and get back to you. That work?”
Excitement filled my body because I already knew that he was going to come through. “Whatever you can do, I’ll be happy with. The effort is more than enough.”
Anthony stared at me with the curious but resigned awe that he always had on his face. “You gone have me even more gone off you ain’t it?”
“What you mean?”
“I mean, just knowing I’m part of the reason that smile is on your face makes me feel proud as hell.”
“You already said that you had your whole ho’ phase so I won’t even question if you’ve said that to someone else. You’ve already proven you don’t lie.”
