Page 130 of In the Safety's Zone
“Billy, don’t have Murda’s big ass come after me and my brother because you were out here getting physical. I love that light bright for real but I will square up with his big ass and Ant would be right there swinging too.”
Before she could respond her phone rang at one end of the conference table and she gave us all a look that had us sitting up straight.
“Yes? Walk her back.”
She dropped the receiver and strutted toward the door and I knew she meant business by how she was walking.
“We’ll be out of here soon.” Aphrodite spoke softly so only I could hear her and I gave her a silent nod of appreciation before turning to kiss her lips.
She’d worn this dress with buttons up the front that was some shade of orange that complemented her skin. Her locs were down and I prayed this was over with quick so we could have lunch together before me and Choo had to get to practice.
The door opened and Isis walked in and I gave her a head nod of respect before she stepped to the side and the woman who birthed us walked in the room. The cloud of whatever perfume she’d drenched herself in flew across the table and smacked me in the face like I burned the roux.
Jillana was grinning like she’d already accomplished what she’d set out to and it pissed me off that she looked so unbothered as she cut this potential path of destruction through our lives.
“Look at my boys and their…well, look at my boys.”
“You might be my egg donor but you should know I’on’t play ‘bout this one. That’s my wife and right now you ain’t shit to me but an opp. Should’ve left yo ass with nothing so you ain’t try this shit again.” Choo’s leg was jumping again and Jill hadn’t even sat her ass down yet.
“You still got your claws in him I see.” Jillana sat down and frowned at Rye like she hadn’t heard a word ‘Twan said.
“I think it’s jealousy, Jillana. But if I were as miserable as you I’d be jealous of happy people too.”
“Whatever, lil girl. You always got something smart to say.” Jillana looked in my direction and gave me a fake smile. “Yours leading you around by the dick too?”
“There’s something really wrong with you.” I was disgusted with this woman but turned to Billy so we could get on with this. “We ready?”
Billy nodded and took her seat at the front of the table. “Jillana, where is Antonio?”
For the first time since Jillana walked in the room, she looked uncomfortable. “He had other shit to do today.”
“Hmmm, that’s funny. I thought it was because he was on probation and one stipulation was that he couldn’t leave the state.” Billy flipped through something on her tablet without even looking up at Jillana as she spoke.
My mama was clearly embarrassed by the facts from the way she avoided looking at us. “None of that is relevant.”
“It is when you’re trying to raise money for a bum and you’re using my clients to do so.”
It was my turn to sit up straight because I knew she wasn’t selling us out for this nigga again.
“Again? You sacrificing us for him again?” I rocked back and forth trying to keep my cool as she continued to smile that using us for her gain was no big deal.
Antwan lifted his head staring at Jill like she disgusted him. “What’s it gonna take for you to wake up, Jill, huh? For you to see he doesn’t mean you any good? Your entire life has been wasted running behind him. Your fucking sons were almost killed because you cared more about him than them. And when you getting ready to face real punishment behind the shit he’s getting you to do, he got you sitting here alone to face the music.”
“Y’all have been bitter behind your daddy for twenty fucking years. Y’all should be over that shit by now.”
She fluttered her hand in the air like the trauma we faced that night was something that we could easily move past. My chest burned as I watched her brush us off yet again. Memories of her finding us later and having us lie for her to authorities. The way she berated us for not being hurt enough so she could get more money out of the few aid organizations that came through wanting to help. She was pissed that we hadn’t done anything tosave any of her shit and we both got a beating that I still bore the scars from.
“Over that shit? Over…that…shit. Wow.”
Antwan ran a hand down his face and I could see this shit opening up wounds that the joy he’d been able to find in Rye had healed. His face was tight, eyes downcast and she was going to cause him to be back on the team psych’s couch after all of this.
“They were fine; they should’ve gone to the neighbors—” She was talking to the other women in the room like two of them weren’t mothers and like all three didn’t have common fucking sense.
Fury fueled my every movement as I slammed my fist on the table before pointing my finger at her.
“YOU SHOULD’VE BEEN THERE! You! Not the fucking neighbors but you! You should’ve been there for your fucking kids. We were your responsibility but I had to rely on Antwan, who was all I had to depend on back then. You want us to pay you back in blood, sweat, money and loyalty when you ain’t ever done shit for us? For the shit that other people had to do? How dare you think that shit is okay?”
I didn’t give a damn about how I was screaming at her; she deserved this. Jill always thought that someone else was supposed to pick up her slack. I could see nothing I said to her was sinking in. Even though she came in here acting like she was broke, her hair was still done, her nails as loud as her constant disrespect. She was wearing every piece of jewelry she owned. It was a thing back home to be flashy but this woman was over here begging for money and wearing at least fifty thousand dollars worth of jewelry. Her priorities were still fucked up and nothing was going to change that.
