Page 37 of In the Safety's Zone
“Feels?” She was pressing me like she was excited about what I had to say and her joy was contagious.
“Permanent. Like he was meant to be there.”
“Oh, damn I know that feeling. I had it with Coby and it scared the shit out of me.”
I pointed to her as I nodded my head. “That! That’s how I’m feeling. This is some scary shit, Billy. How did you navigate it to the point that you just…” I threw my hands up because I was at a loss for words.
“Got married, added his name to mine and gave him four kids? Oh, and almost died behind his family?”
“Yeah! That. Because honestly, Bills, I ain’t got that in me.”
I was saying that but it had only been a few weeks. There was no telling how deep my feelings would go even a month from now. I didn’t get any dick but I for damn sure must’ve beenlicktimizedby that man and his tongue.
Billy smiled softly and sipped from her water. “You don’t think you do until you do. If you would’ve asked me any of that I would’ve said the same thing you did. Like he had me fucked up to think I was doing any of that. But love, the secure kind that you know will catch you if you fall, will have you thinking you can do the impossible because of who you have in your corner. And it’s right. You can overcome anything. I’m proof of that.”
“Billy, you're not making any of this love shit sound worthwhile.”
“I got four babies, a fine-ass husband that knows how to fuck every bit of stress and attitude out of my body, and a life I wouldn’t change. I’ve been blessed so there is nothing I could say I wanted.”
“And you think he’s a good guy? Anthony I mean.”
“Yeah. But more importantly, he has to because of how you’re reacting to him. I’ve seen plenty of men trying to get at you. Plenty of men that you’ve bypassed who go through other avenues to pursue you. You never wanted to do any of it.”
I frowned up thinking of the men who’d sent gifts and slid into my social media inboxes wanting to hook up. I wasn’tsure what they thought I was going to do with such a slack-ass attempt to strike up a conversation but I guess I put off desperate vibes. I was just thankful that I knew better than to follow any of them up.
“I really like him.”
I confessed it softly as the server rolled in, bringing the cart with our food on it. She set down our plates and asked if we needed anything before she disappeared just as quickly as she’d come.
“I knew that. So what are you going to do?” Billy was grinning as she cut into the petite filet she’d ordered for lunch.
“I’m going to just be happy I guess. He makes me happy, he’s romantic and I like him.”
“Did y’all meet back at the familial shoot in February?” She looked up like she’d just realized how our paths might have crossed.
“Yeah. They had this whole Aphrodite and Ares photoshoot they had us do together. They wanted an interview in case I make history with the majors this year. I got to choose someone to pose with me and I chose him.”
“Well, hell now I need to see these proofs since neither of y’all sneaky asses said anything about it. I should’ve known that y’all’s chemistry was something special if y’all have been talking like that since then. I just know those photos will be beautiful.”
I blushed thinking about the proofs they’d sent over and Anthony had already said he was going to have at least one of them framed.
“Thank you. The article is gonna come out soon and I just know people are going to wonder what’s going on.”
“This is the start of it. Learn to weather it early.”
“Is that what y’all did?”
She and Coby had caught so much hell when their relationship was exposed. It had me wondering whether it was better to expose ourselves or let people find out on their own.
She laughed as she shook her head, letting me know I was wrong. “No. We were together for a long time before the public knew. It helped that people just thought I worked forB&Bnot that I partially owned it. My being around wasn’t seen as weird. But outside forces tripped our hands.”
“Do you regret not being able to have a controlled rollout of your relationship?”
“The Type A side of me says yes because that’s just how I am. But then the public would’ve had so much to say about that too. You can do everything right and people will still find fault with you. You know how they acted when I lost our baby.”
I felt my eyes well up with tears because I remembered the news breaking about Billy’s miscarriage. Some piece of shit at the hospital had leaked her medical information and they’d had a field day online ripping her apart. I hadn’t been able to get back to see her and could only send flowers and call her. On top of all that, they started to have marital problems and I thought I was going to have to hate Jacoby Grayson forever for breaking my girl’s heart. But he eventually got it together.
“I wanted to cuss out everyone who had been talking shit about you. No one should have to go through what you did.”
