Page 7 of In the Safety's Zone
“I appreciate you handling this for me, Billy. Especially since I was an asshole the first time we met.” I had no problem apologizing for my behavior because at the end of the day, I was wrong.
“Water under the bridge, Ant. I’ve dealt with far more terrible athletes, your attitude wasn’t even the worst. Besides, I see the man you’re turning into and I’m proud of him. So you always get a second chance with me. Like I said, you’re family.”
My chest got tight the same way it did when Antwan said shit like this. For so long I felt like I didn’t deserve the goodness that people gave me so it was hard to accept it. I was working on it, but that didn’t mean it came easily.
“I appreciate it.”
“No problem, now let me go, my mama has dinner on the table and you're not about to have that lady mad at me.”
“My fault. Appreciate it again.”
“Have a good night, Ant. Don’t forget to come by and see me when you get the chance.”
I hung out at the pool trying to understand what I’d just heard. The news that Billy dropped on me made a lot of what had been going on lately make a lot of sense. For the first time in a minute, my mother had reached out. And that was an understatement. The number of times she’d called instantly had me worried about her. A sign that I wasn’t strong enough to deal with her right now. Putting up mental blocks in my head and emotional ones in my heart to deal with the woman that gave birth to me was a pain few knew. That lady only saw us as extensions of herself so everything we had she wanted. The craziest part was that she was offended whenever she didn’t get it so she schemed and lashed out. The number of times she’d called me without reaching out to Antwan meant she’d learned something about this and was trying to get her hands on this money.
Same old Jillana.
My brother and sister-in-law had completely cut ties with her after their wedding. Sarayah had a shitty family life besides her Grams and one thing she refused to do was have toxic people around Annia, my niece. My brother and his wife were wildcards but they didn’t play about their daughter. My niece was honestly one of the most miraculous people on earth and she wasn’t even two years old yet. She could bring even more joy into our family and her presence was like a sign that our generation was gonna be good enough not to fuck up the next one.
“Everything okay?”
I looked up and saw Grams walk out of the French doors on the back of the house and I nodded.
“Everything is wonderful. Billy told me this is just some vultures trying to get their hands on some money they think I’m coming into.”
Grams walked toward me, and for a lady in her sixties she was still fly as hell. She’d pop on a wig and shake her ass to some trap music in a heartbeat. Since she’d had Rye’s mama so young she was always going to have fun. Especially since she’d taken care of Rye for most of her childhood.
“Well, they can kiss our asses. Whatever money you've got coming is for your future. I know you’ll do the right thing with it. You won’t even need that money after you get a roster spot this year.”
I couldn’t help but smile because Grams was one of the first women that had ever spoken positively to me besides well, Billy. My mama would praise me but it was disingenuous. Even when Billy was putting me in my place when we met, she did it lovingly. She knew more than just my stats, although she could quote them accurately. Billy told me where I needed to improve in a way that didn’t make me feel like she was comparing me to Antwan. Not in the way other people did. Mainly Jillana. She’d stopped acting like a mother years ago and demanded I stop calling her that when I got to college. Why she wanted to impress people she didn’t know was beyond me, but again, typical Jillana.
“I appreciate the vote of confidence Grams. I’m gonna do my best.” She sat down next to me at the table and squeezed my shoulder.
“Boy, it’s already written. I’ve seen how you’ve come over to study film and to work with your brother. Your dedication to the sport is there and your talent is probably greater than his.”
I dipped my head hiding my smile, because Antwan was the first one to say that to me years ago. He had multiple Super Bowl rings and even more divisional rings so I had a lot to catch up with if it meant I was going to prove myself.
“Don’t let him hear you say that.”
“He agrees with me. And that’s saying a lot since I don’t know a lot about football but I know he’s one of the best wide receivers in the league. My grandson is gonna be in the Hall of Fame and you’re going to be right there with him a few years later.”
I swallowed hearing the praise again and felt my eyes water. I felt that familiar weight of wanting to live up to everyone’s expectations and even my own.
“High praise.”
“I’m just calling it like I see it. Then you can get yourself a girl to settle you down from jump so you don’t have to shake that ain’t shit off you like your brother did.”
My head shot up as I laughed and that lady had the nerve to have a serious look on her face. “Grams!”
She folded her arms and cocked her head like she wasn’t playing with me. “What? That boy was looser than an eight month grown out weave. I mean Rye wasn’t much better but she was at least better. And choosy cause I see some of them hookers that hang around y’all. And a few that Rye had to put paws on. He needed to make better choices. But I’m glad he’s serious about being the best he can be for my baby. It’s been all these years and he still goes to get checked out every six weeks just in case.”
My brow rose cause Grams was talking way too matter of factly about my brother’s health. “How do you know that?”
Her smile was soft and it had me feeling like she might drop some bad news on my ass. “Because your brother has no issue with telling me that he wants nothing more than the best for my baby and that’s how he shows it. By being honest. He ain’t doing nothing wrong but it would devastate him if his past hurt his wife. He might have been an asshole before but it was to protect himself from everything, even the good. Don’t make the same mistake that he did by trying to protect yourself from the good things too.”
“Never thought I’d see the day that he was so gone over somebody. But Sarayah is special. You did good, Grams.”
“And they will say the same thing about you when I’m done.” She reached over and patted my hand as if I were her next pet project.
