Page 8 of Dirty Valentine
“What happened?”I asked.
A flush worked its way up Sheldon’s neck and cheeks.“I spent the night at Leena’s house and then she got a flat tire on her way to drop me off at work.My mom said it’s because I had a sleepover with a girl and it was punishment for living in sin.Leena said it’s because my mom put a curse on her.”
Sheldon lives with his mother and doesn’t get out much, though he weirdly doesn’t seem to hurt for female attention.He’s been seeing a girl that works at Lady Jane’s Donuts.To say she was interesting was an understatement.I’d become pretty protective of Sheldon—he was like a puppy and someone had to watch out for him.But it seemed to me that Leena was only interested in him because he worked at the funeral home.
She was one of those girls who wore black lipstick, thick eyeliner, and painted her nails black.And she liked it when Sheldon wore his embalming coveralls.Leena was a strange one, and if anyone was putting curses out there my money was on her instead of Sheldon’s mom.
“You need to start thinking with the brain in your head instead of the other one,” Emmy Lu said, clucking her tongue.“Besides, that’s not what I was talking about when I said we’d had an adventurous morning.You need to get a grip.”
“What other brain?”Sheldon asked, confused.“I only have one.”
Emmy Lu sighed and shook her head.“Tell them what happened with Mrs.Patterson.”
“Right,” he said, pushing up his glasses.“So Mrs.Patterson calls this morning about arrangements for her mother.Mrs.Abernathy died yesterday at the age of ninety-three.So her daughter comes in this morning to go over preliminaries, but she has this…thing with her.”Sheldon shuddered visibly.
“What kind of thing?”I asked, knowing I was going to regret it.
“Well,” Sheldon said.“She said it was a cat.”
Emmy Lu snorted with laughter.“You should have seen Sheldon’s face when she pulled that moth-eaten furball out of a Louis Vuitton tote like it was a priceless heirloom.”
“It was a taxidermied Maine coon,” Sheldon said.“I might have screamed a little.”
“More than a little,” Emmy Lu said, patting his shoulder.“But it was understandable.I’ve never seen anything more terrifying.She must’ve had that thing taxidermied at the Dollar Store.There was an eye missing, and only a few patches of hair remained.”
“And Mrs.Patterson wants it displayed with her mother at the viewing,” Sheldon said.
“What did you tell her?”I asked, trying to keep my expression neutral.
“I told her we’d do our best to honor her mother’s wishes while maintaining the dignified atmosphere our other families expect,” Sheldon said carefully.“But between you and me, I wouldn’t be opposed to it finding its way to the crematorium.No one should have to look at that.”
“Agreed,” Emmy Lu said.“She left it in my office.Now I have to go back in there and throw salt around or something to clear out the evil spirits.”
“I’m proud of you, Sheldon,” I said.“That was a very professional response.”
“Except for the screaming,” Jack said under his breath, making me smile.
“On that note,” I said, glancing toward the basement, “I should probably get started on our John Doe.”
“And I’m going to deal with the media circus and see if any missing persons reports have come in.”
“You’re a day late and a dollar short on that front,” Emmy Lu told him.“I caught the story on the news already.Imagine finding a body on Bridget Ashworth’s grave.”She shivered.“It’s just creepy.I used to drink Boone’s Farm and make out with Roger Shofer around there when I was fifteen.Those memories will never be the same.”
“Cemeteries are real aphrodisiacs,” Sheldon said wisely.
Emmy Lu nodded as if this were common knowledge instead of completely weird.“If you go to the cemetery at night you can hear her talking when the wind blows through the headstones.”
“You think she was a real witch?”I asked.
“I’m just saying, there’s been too many strange things that have happened around her grave over the last three centuries.Everyone knows that.”
“Hmm,” I said, deciding I’d need to do a Google search on Bridget Ashworth once I got finished with my autopsy.
Jack kissed me and headed toward the mudroom door, but he paused and looked back at me with an expression that promised our interrupted moment would be continued later.
“We’ll finish our earlier discussion tonight,” he said.
“I’m counting on it.”Heat rushed to my cheeks, and I didn’t bother trying to hide it.“I’ll let you know as soon as I’m finished with him.”
