Page 26 of Stepbrothers with Benefits
Trying to figure out how I felt about the whole thing was like trying to swim through a storm-tossed ocean. All I got for my trouble was being tossed around and finding it hard to tell up from down, which would have been fine. I could have dealt with my confusion and uncertainty, even if I didn’t know what the hell I had to be uncertain about. But I knew it had to be a big deal if the normally adaptable and carefree Milo was struggling, especially when I didn’t knowwhy. Almost every single time something was bothering him, I knew what it was and could make a damned good guess as to why it bothered him.
He appeared at the corner, and I watched him before he raised his head. His leather jacket was pulled tight around him, zipped up halfway, and he spread his arms when he saw me, dangling two bags from each hand as he grinned; the proud hunter bringing home the day’s catch to feed his family. His cheeks were red from the cold air, but he was all smiles, and I wondered if I was just being paranoid...and then wondered what the hell I had to be paranoid about.
“What the hell are you looking so serious about?” he asked, loud enough to draw attention from others who mistook hisloudness for aggression. I ignored them as we returned to the apartment.
“Many deep and serious things that are well beyond your comprehension,” I told him, letting myself absorb the resurgence of his good mood and use it to buoy myself against the weird internal storm thrashing inside me. Sometimes people asked me how the hell I ‘put up with’ Milo all the time, and, ignoring the fact that I wanted to tell them I didn’t put up with anything, it was because being around him made me happier. He was right to tease me about ‘zoning out’ when we both knew I was getting lost in my thoughts. Left to my own devices, I’d stay there, and it wasn’t always the happiest place.
That was the thing about Milo, he was unflappable. Sure, something could come along and bring him down or bring his temper to the surface, but it didn’t stick. His moods left as quickly as they arrived, and Milo could always be counted on to shake things off with a speed that some might worry about, but I knew was just how he functioned. He didn’t need to process things because he wasn’t hanging on to them, simple as that. I envied it sometimes, but I knew it would never work for me, so there was no point in sitting around upset.
“Right, right,” he said with a grin. “I’ll leave that in the hands of those far more capable than I. Me? I am a simple creature, and simple I will stay.”
That from the guy who almost always carried a cumulative GPA between 3.5 and 4.0, and while he had to work at some of his classes, he had taught himself so many ins and outs of coding that he was ahead of even his advanced coding classes and breezed through them. Hewassimple, but he wasn’t stupid.
“Anything you wanna talk about?” he asked as we approached our apartment building.
“Don’t worry about me,” I snorted as I opened the outer doors to let us into the entryway. “Was just thinking my thinks.”
“Mmm, is that a sign that I should pretend you’re okay? Or am I supposed to persist?”
“There’s nothing to persist about.”
“Uh-huh. Fine, fine, I’ll take the hint.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Sure am!”
Right there was why I was okay with whatever weirdness had cropped up between us. No matter how awkward things were, he was him, I was me, and we were who we were together. I could rely on him to drag me into ridiculous shenanigans that made me laugh, and he could rely on the fact that I would make sure he didn’t end up banged up...too much. I could bring him back to reality when he decided to go out of bounds, and I could always rely on his naturally laid-back demeanor to lift me whenever I naturally wanted to sink.
It was who we were, and had been from almost the start, and deep down, I thought that’s who we always would be.
We stepped off the elevator and came to a slow stop as we turned the corner, seeing someone standing near our apartment door. My brow quirked as I watched the man bend slightly to attach something to our door.
“Can we, uh, help you?” Milo asked in confusion, startling the man and making him swing around to face us.
“Oh,” the guy said, blinking.
“Ohshit,” I hissed as I looked him in the face.
Milo looked back at me. “What? What’s wrong? Do you know him?”
“Well...in a way,” I said as I stared at the man, who was looking back at me with an expression of puzzlement. I was seeing double.
“You do?” the man asked, and shock ripped through me as I realized he had big blue eyes that made his confusion almost innocent, puppy-like. He reached up to swipe a clump of blondhair that he clearly struggled to control, his broad shoulders hunched forward as he leaned toward Milo and me expectantly. He was wearing a thick coat, so I couldn’t be sure, but the double vision made me think that under all that insulation, there was probably a wiry, perpetually thin body even if he managed to put on some muscle.
Milo glanced at the stranger and then back at me. “Well, don’t hold me in suspense here. Who is he?”
I stared at him with wide eyes. “Hey, Milo?”
“Yeah?”
“Look at him.”
“Okay...looking.”
I stared at the older man, who had straightened under Milo’s scrutiny. “Have you ever wondered what you might look like in another decade or two?”
“Um, yeah? I guess, doesn’t everyone?” Milo asked, looking at me with a bewildered expression. The older man shot me a look that I knew well, though it was disturbing to read it so easily on a stranger, but he understood what I was doing.
