Page 46 of Stepbrothers with Benefits
“Like, I didn’t let that image get into my head too much, and when it did, I didn’t take care of it myself. I decided the best way to deal with it was to call Raf and go take it out on him.”
“Take...take it out?” I repeated and then cleared my throat, voice sounding rough. “You mean like...getting off?”
“Oh yeah,” he said with a little laugh. “I mean, who could blame me? It’s like...you’re hot, like stupidly hot, to me anyway. Always thought so, but I try not to think about it too much because it gets really distracting and that would be...wrong, because it’s not like that between us and like...I don’t know, but it probably shouldn’t be like that either. But I still think it more than I want to. You’re just hot, and then I walk in and there you are, butt naked, nice butt in the air, and then you stood up and I saweverything. Like, everything. Rock hard everything. So, hell yeah, I had to go deal with that in a good way, ya know? It’s not bad if you have a major thing for someone else if you use that to be with the person you’re supposed to be into, right?”
“I...yeah,” I agreed lamely, my mouth dry.
“And I mean, that was after Raf and I agreed to let each other screw around and be with other people if we want,” he rambledoff. “But that night? Yeah, no, I needed to take care of that as fast as possible because...hot.”
I had heard Milo talk about being into other people, but always in a way where sex was insinuated, but you never really caught sight of anything sexual. Like yes, he might mention that he’d sleep with someone, but there was no real lust in his voice, no heat in his eyes. Compared to now, when he was absently discussing how hot he considered the sight of me nude and hard. I didn’t have to see his face to know that he was actively feeling sexual. It was in his voice, a rawness and...need I had never heard there before, making its absence in all the other times he’d talked about being attracted to guys all the more apparent.
“Have you...” I trailed off as my mind, slipping in multiple directions, came to a grinding halt. I had to force myself to breathe and focus, to figure out what was bringing my thoughts to a bone-jarring stop.
Oh.
Oh shit.
He was hard.
Not just hard buthard. Pressed up against me to the point that it was fucking amazing I hadn’t noticed before because I was now intimately aware of the fact that Milo had every right to be a top if he so desired because he was...respectable. I had no idea what I should feel at that understanding, but I certainly felt something warm flash through me, and I panicked, wondering if I should push him away. Doing that would definitely make him aware of what was happening, and it was something he had avoided for years, from the sounds of it, but what would letting it continue mean?
“What?” he asked, a sleepiness coming back into his voice, and I knew that if I stayed quiet, he would finally drift off to sleep. Sure, he would still be pressed up against me, and his goddamn hard dick would still be there, but he wouldn’t betelling me more. I could pretend none of that ever happened, and bury the night's revelations in a deep, dark pit in my head, occasionally smacking it back down when it tried to come to the surface. It was probably the smartest thing I could do because I was out of my depth and risking finding out more than I should know...again.
“You know...got off about that...thing...me,” I managed to stammer, not even sure if that was a conscious decision because some traitor was living in my head and finally taking its chance to betray me.
“Not for a while,” he admitted, and my eyes widened when he ground lightly against me.
Was that just mindless shifting, or was he getting off grinding his dick against me?
I really needed to stop him.
“But you have...before,” I continued with inward cursing. The only solace I could take from the absolute mess was that I was stone cold sober, which meant that, despite feeling the cut-off point for the conversation should have been long before, there had to be enough of my functioning, responsible brain cells left in working order to cut things off if theydefinitelywent too far.
“Yeah,” he said, sounding a little embarrassed. “Just another gay guy with a major crush on a straight guy. A song as old as time, really.”
“And, you know...your stepbrother,” I said, wincing and hoping that didn’t trigger his awareness.
He sighed heavily. “I know that. I’ve thought about it too. Sometimes I feel really bad because c’mon, we’re supposed to treat each other like brothers, right?”
“I understand what you mean,” I said, not quite agreeing with him. A little voice whispered from the shadows of my head, reminding me that he had always been cagey about calling me his brother when he never hesitated to use it for Mason, Arlo, orDom. Of course, I had to remind that voice that I hadn’t called Milo my brother, there was always that ‘step’ thrown in...and I tended to correct people when they called him my brother. So, I had to ask that little voice, whatever you’re trying to say about him, maybe consider how it reflects on us.
“And I guess sometimes the stepbrother thing doesn’t matter to me, and then it does matter, but sometimes it matters because it’s...wrong. Not like totally wrong, right? But wrong enough to make something that’s already hot even hotter,” he said. I recognized the devil-may-care attitude he adopted whenever he was pushed to decide if something questionable was a good idea, but still sounded like a blast. “But it’s really just...extra flavor at that point.”
“Extra flavor?” I wondered, unable to help laughing at the phrasing.
“I mean, you’re already fucking hot as hell, hottest person I’ve ever known if I’m gonna be telling the truth like I am right now,” he answered, making me wonder just how much self-awareness there was in those little confessions. “It always used to drive me crazy when those girls you were interested in were like...not interested. Like damn, bitch, how the fuck can’t you see what’s right in front of you? The man is fine as fuck, a ride or die kind of person who’s always going to have your back and make sure you’re okay, and you’re second-guessing yourself? Stupid. You take that fine piece of ass and you run with it.”
“Fine...piece of ass,” I repeated, now finding it difficult not to burst into laughter. The only other person who’d said something like that was Eva. She’d never been shy about expressing herself or her attraction to me, which, if I were honest, had been one of the reasons she and I had gotten along sexually. Having a partner who openly expressed their interest in you, and their enjoyment, was apparently a rare commodity but a thoroughly enjoyable one.
Well, a couple of girls had done it before, but they’d been drunk, like Milo. Like him, they had probably thought it before they’d been drunk, but the booze gave them the courage to say it aloud...like Milo right now. Except it was still different. Despite being entirely thrown off balance by the whole thing and wondering what thefuckI was supposed to do with that information, I still had confidence in how well I knew Milo. I’d bet good money that if he hadn’t been so put off by our... unique circumstances, he would probably be just as expressive and open sober as he was while several sheets to the wind.
“Yeah, but don’t like...hold it against me,” he said, and my attention was jerked back to the moment when I felt his hand slide off my hip and onto...my groin. “Bad enough you went and ended up hot as hell, even worse that you had to go and be an awesome person. Fucking stupid that I’m the one who can see it and I can’t do anything about it.”
I said nothing because I froze as I felt him trying to do something about it. My arm, the one not pinned under his body anyway, tensed as I felt his fingers through the thin material of my shorts. Hell, I’d had condoms that deadened sensation more than these shorts, and I could feel his fingertips as they sought and then found my dick.
Eyes wide, I glanced at Milo; his eyes were still closed, but there was a slight quirk to his lips as he gently stroked me with two fingers. My arm flexed again, and I twitched to reach over and stop him before things got out of control, before realizing through the jumble of thoughts and confusing sensations that I could feel his fingers pushing against my dick with more force.
No...wait...that wasn’t it.
