Page 90 of Stepbrothers with Benefits
Not to mention how the rest of the world would feel. Our only source of income was the consistent and positive interaction with the faceless masses. Sure, that meant our income could take a major blow or even disappear, which would require a lot of changes in our lives. But I’d also seen how destructive and hateful people on the internet could be, and oof, when someone fell from grace on social media, they well and truly fell from grace. Death threats and hate messages would be the least of our concerns if angry people managed to get our personal information.
“I...don’t want to think about any of this,” I admitted, cringing in my seat. “That’s a whole lot of everything.”
“It is,” he admitted with a nod. “But we don’t have to think too hard. This weekend is for us to get a feel for things, but I realize maybe this is the chance for us to have as much carefree fun as we want before we face reality.”
“And the world,” I said, fingering my phone as I considered the posts I would still put up tonight.
“That too,” he said. “So it comes down to...how do we feel about it? At least for now, for tonight and the rest of the weekend.”
“Right,” I said, trying to focus and nodding. “Does it bother you that you’re into a dude?”
“Not in the slightest,especiallybecause it's you I’m into.”
“Okay,” I said, not caring that I was now grinning like an idiot in contrast to the ball of anxiety I had been only seconds ago. “I guess that covers the second question.”
“Does it bother either of us that people consider us brothers?”
“But we’re not, and we’ve never really seen each other like that,” I said instantly, and immediately knew it was the truth. “If anything, we saw each other as best friends before we were anything else.”
“I feel the same way,” he said, picking up his glass and smiling. “It’s funny?—”
I waited a few beats before clearing my throat. “How so? Or...what is?”
He stared into space for a second before shaking his head. “Just...life, you know? Not once did I consider that I’d ever be interested in sex with another guy, let alone a relationship and...no, that’s not true.”
I leaned back. “That’s news to me. When did you think about it before?”
“It was... a while ago. One of those blink and you’ll miss it moments.”
“Gonna continue to be vague, or are you going to explain?”
“Heh, fine, fine. It was after that jackass you dated, Donatello.”
I snorted. “His name was Michelangelo. And his parents named him after the artist, not the Ninja Turtle.”
“First off, being named after a great artist when you’re a boring piece of shit is worse. Secondly, I refuse to expend any effort to remember his name.”
“Of course, forgive me for not remembering you don’t remember his name.”
“Anyway, so Raphael?—”
“Still going with the Ninja Turtle theme, I see.”
“After he broke up with you, after he cheated on you, blamed you for it, and then left you for the guy he swore was his straight best friend?—”
“Wow, that’s uncomfortably topical.”
“And you were absolutely heartbroken because come on, you were fifteen, first boyfriend you were really interested in, and you were a mess.”
“I’m not suremessis the word I’d use.”
“You got into Marty’s supply of booze, drank yourself to the point of puking, drank some more, puked again, and then decided to cry in the shower until I managed to lure you out with some Hot Pockets.”
Okay, I couldn’t refute that, and he damn well knew it. I had gotten absolutely trashed and paid for it in spades the next day because my theft was obvious, and all Mom had to do was smell the booze still leaking from my pores to know who was responsible. Eli had lied his ass off and said that he’d helped me, so he’d ended up with the same punishment, but the real punishment was not remembering how I’d behaved when shit faced, other than a vague, overwhelming sense of shame and embarrassment. I knew the story, of course, but clearly there was more to it.
“You kept slipping between crying, eating, and talking shit about him,” Eli said with a chuckle. “I spent the last half hour of you being awake arguing that, no, you weren’t unlovable, that you didn’t ‘make’ him cheat, and that, yes, one day you were going to find someone to do right by you. That last bit made you really happy, and it was the first time since we’d been kids that you fell asleep in bed with me.”
“Well,” I said with an apologetic wince. “Doing something like that gotreallyweird when puberty kicked in. I didn’t want you finding out that cuddling you gave me boners.”
